High/Low 2.21.06

Hiya!

Tuesday... not close enough to Friday.. argh! It's still pretty dang cold out... hats and scarves and warming up the car included..

I don't know what is going on with me.. but something is for sure. Something is changing for me..within me... physical, chemical changes(whew).. as well as emotional and spiritual... I can feel it.. I feel like in unfamiliar surroundings with respect to my life.. everything that was familiar has moved out to a distance.. like a mirage.. and I can't really grasp what is REALLY right in front of me.. it feels unsafe so I keep moving.. keep trying to figure out who this new person is.. and trying not to hold on to the sentimentality of the old one too much...

Work was weird... this unsettling feeling in the air at work.. what's going to happen to us (3) in the small office.. layoffs.. moving to the main office... all this unsettled business floated around yesterday.. it was a familiar feeling.... Had to cancel lunch with Kristine.. because the owners of the company were coming.. i was bummed. found out in the afternoon that we're not going anywhere.. and the details of what's going to happen next which made me feel a bit relieved...

Went on a date last nite.. a spontaneous same day date (ok.. the planner in me is still amazed at this phenomenon) 3/4 of the date I enjoyed myself.. but 1/4 of it i was definitely questioning my newfound spontaneous side.. but that 1/4 was more toward the beginning so i was happily surprised by the switch. Got home quite late.. WAY later than this Kerilyn girl would publicly keep her eyes open for..

So needless to say.. I'm tired.. and feeling out of sorts this morning.. procrastinating getting ready.. slept in a bit.. didn't meditate as long.. so my morning routine is thrown off a bit.. I want to say that I really really want to go to bed early.. but why is it when the evening comes.. and i'm sitting on the couch watching my Tivo'd shows.. that I can't walk my self up them stairs before my usual slatted time for rest.. hmmm weird.

ok.. enough rambling...
onward and upward.
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net