High/Low 9.14.04

Well, well, well.....

I am happy to report to you all, but I feel a LOT better! I think I figured out what it was that was making me feel blue.. I haven't exercised in about a week and a half.. and I think the sedentary-ness of this past week, made my "stuff", my emotions come to the surface.. and therefore made me feel like there was no hope. It's kinda amazing how endorphins and the knowing that I'm doing something that will make me feel better.. makes me feel better. I get off that elliptical thingy jiggy thing, all sweaty from movin'; listening to the one CD thats been on repeat for bout 4 weeks now.. (no.. amazingly enough I am not sick of it yet.. I try to listen to something else but I keep going back to it) Instantaneously I am clearer in the mind.. able to see how I allowed myself to sink in the Pit of Despair (not unlike the Princess Bride)

I actually had a really stinky day.. emotionally. Couldn't climb out of the self imposed ditch I dug.. like a weed wacker.. you pull that string.. trying to get it to start.. and the harder you pull.. still, nothing.. That's how I was trying to get out of this mood.. but alas.. that is hopefully over for the time being. See... the trick, I think.. is REALLY about not worrying about the expectations of what you want to happen..well, that's why they're called expectations.. what we expect.. but to work on the RIGHT NOW.. ep.. now right now is gone.. ok.. right NOW! ok.. well you get my point. It's good to have dreams.. ideas.. goals.. aspirations.. (shoot.. I am ready to 1. work at the Corcoran 2. Open my store of spiritual/creative things 3. Start my own greeting card business 4. Create my own funky clothing line for big girls.. ) NOW I have to just work at it.. not complain.. "aww.. it's not working.. nothings coming... uh yea.. cause I haven't done anything.. )

Gotta do something.. but I think I will start with exercising.. drinking enough water.. listening to my kitty cat purr, receiving phone calls from friends, laying in my bed reading.. MORNING COFFEE!!! (big one), finding a close parking spot, meditating every morning...

Today was a muggy day.. not hot, cause the fall is staging it's presence.. which I receive with anticipated inspiration.. Thanks for listening today again..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you, &34;What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?" Instead, they demand: "How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?" Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him. " ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry,The Little Prince

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear. "~Ambrose Redmoon