High/Low 7.19.05

hey there...

how are ya? oh my gosh it was SO humid yesterday.. your sweating walking from your house to the car.. and from the car to the office.. today i think it's supposed to be the hottest. whoa. Throwing todays high/low in the old format, because I don't have much to say today and this makes it easier for me to delineate between the duality of my day.

High: yesterday after work.. i bravely spent two hours mowing the lawn and cutting weeds from the forest that's growing on the side of the house and in the back yard. Between the mosquito bites and the sweating.. I actually got a bit done. Feel proud of myself! There are MANY more hours of work to do.. and time is running out before the party Aug 13th. I am considering posting a classified ad to see if I can get someone to help. I emailed a few people that own stores along the line of the store I want to open, and asked them to give me advice about how they came to open their store. I hope I hear back from them.

Low: Still feel out of sorts still. I keep trying to remember what my aunt told me.. that I have all these inspirational and spiritual things around my house but that I don't convey them.. don't LIVE them. That's the weird thing..I know this is an illusion.. i know my thoughts form my reality, I know I am not alone.. I really do know this, believe this with everything I am...but still I feel like i'm off track somewhere. You know when you get off at the wrong exit or take the wrong train on the subway? Kinda tense, unnerving feeling until you get back to what you recognize? You have to turn the radio off, and stop talking to those around you until you figure out where you are? Ever happen to you? That's how I feel. And at the same time, I know that the more I fight that lost feeling, the more lost I'm going to feel, going to miss the signs. I try to let go and just keep on.. hoping that I will find a sign that will direct me back onto my path, but all along it feels like I am not where I'm supposed to be. See I guess that's how i've been feeling for a long time now.. I know every single one of you feel this from time to time.. some more than others... I pray, wish, meditate, to be placed onto the path that makes me feel most alive, "so much myself" but I still seem to miss the exit back to the road that leads me to my chosen path. But then again.. there are no mistakes and everything happens for a reason, so there's a reason why I feel off track and that's the track i'm supposed to be on.. i guess. Sigh, I desire to know what i'm thinking that's allowing me to feel in this rut, I wish right now for an opportunity to come into my life today that will assist me back to feeling like i'm on the right road.

oh well.. onward and upward. I hope I don't depress you with my high/low today. Sorry If I have.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
kerilyn