High/Low 5.23.07

Morning..

Ok.. I feel better... It's so amazing to me how much my stress level is raised (TRUST me.. I know this is SELF INFLICTED.. I do not point fingers at anyone but myself) when I'm under a deadline.. I really thought that I was past this panicky feeling at work.. since I am in such a good place.. at a good place.. but nope... As SOON as my deadline was met yesterday afternoon.. AHHHHH.. I magically shifted back to my regularly scheduled program.. for the most part.. WHY do I get so emotionally overwhelmed?? I do not like this part of myself.. and have tried to change it for years.. but it keeps creeping up... I wish I knew why....

So.. it's Wednesday.. another BEAUTIFUL day here... Beautimus!

so quickly onto 3 things 2 things:

3 things that make me happy:
1. I slept REALLY soundly last nite and it took a while this morning to come out of my temporary hibernation... which felt good.. I "went deep" last nite...
2. I LOVE that my girl Kristy is around the corner.. I was trying to decide where to put my clock.. and so I called her and she came over to help! SO Nice!
3. Today... HOPEFULLY.. I will be able to begin one large job.. 80+ stations... and will be able to enjoy doing it for a few days.. LOVE THAT!

2 things I'm looking forward to today:
1. At 3.. i go for my Echocardiogram.. so I'm leaving work early.. I want confirmation that everything is ok... cause my heart beat thing is still happening... (although not as much the past two days so that's good)
2. I was planning on going to Naomis contest tonite... but I talked to her.. and I think I'm just going to wait to go till next week when things will go back to "normal". I'm not GOING anywhere.. or DOING anything.. except being HOME.... I need some real "me" time.. and I have done a piss poor job of holding myself to it.

2 long term things I'm looking forward to:
1. Waking up.. and Being able to sit and have Coffee with Michelle.
2. Getting the commission for my 80+ stations..! :) maybe an extra 500 bucks?

1 person I am going to appreciate:
Man.. I really really miss Naomi.. her being in my everyday life.. Last nite I talked to her for 40 minutes or so... and i haven't talked to her or spent time with her in a long time... and it felt SO good.. I kinda got a bit of myself back... Before Kevin.. Naomi was my every day... (I mean you can't get much closer than your next door neighbor! HA!) I can't tell you how AWESOME it feels to have someone else.. who is able to easily swim in the "deep end" of emotional life... someone who I am able to express my deepest feelings with.. good and bad.. who can hold our "stuff" in our hands without pretending it's not there.. or wanting to throw it away... God I am lucky to have her in my life and LOOK FORWARD to spending more time with her after the dust settles.. (and Naomi.. thanks for understanding about me whimping out tonite.. I love you so much)

ok.. i gotta boogy.. and get to work!
Much love.. and see.. I'm better.. everyone has a bad day once in a while.. thankfully It doesn't last long..
:) Kerilyn