Today (11.24.07) I am....

good... I'm pretty good today...

I'm working on setting up a new Blog... working on the layout of it... I think I need a fresh look.. but in the meantime... I wanted to say HI... and that I'm still around... been kinda melancholy lately.. and those that have been with me a while.. know that when I'm blue... I'm not in a chatty mood much...

funny thing is... I'm melancholy about the big things in my life.. being/staying inspired.. my cards.. my relationship... my job... money..

but there are STILL so many wonderful small daily things that I am so grateful for... so I've decided I'm JUST going to focus on the little things.. until I can work out the big ones... sound like a deal?

like I was in the car one day.. and a ladybug is crawling on the inside of my car.. made me happy...

and listening to the rain last nite... and this morning while I was meditating... so nice.

last nite i had a moment , before I went to bed... while i looked at my kitty girl laying on me... crying my eyes out.. thanking her for coming into my life... I'm so grateful for her.. I can tell she's getting older.. being an orange kitty.. she's getting more black hairs on her.. which I think is our version of going Gray... I tried to keep the belief that when she leaves me here.. that she is just going home.. but it still made me cry...(still makes my nose stingy to think about her leaving me) I don't understand that.. I know this life isn't IT... that there's more... I've been priivy to it.. but I still cried like I never heard that before in my life.. interesting..

I have been taking more of a ventured interest in maintaining my car... told myself i'd get it washed every payday (every 2 weeks) somehow there are these drips of a drink (I think coke) down the right rear trunk/side of my car.. that have left a stain on the paint and the rear windshield... grr.. Kevin found a deal on Sirius Radio so I now have it in my car... it's pretty cool.. no commercials.. Reggae.. 24 hours a day! Love it!

This weekend I've decided is ME WEEKEND! Kevin is going out of town.. I'm not making plans with anyone... not doing anything with anyone... I'm just going to do whatever I want.. whenever I want... I am starved for some ME time... I've been overbooking myself.. which usually means I'm trying to avoid something.. I'm always feeling tired.. (I think part of the depression) and I just can't seem to think clearly... So I'm spending some time in the studio this weekend... sleeping in.. and hanging out... with myself...

oh.. and my computer is shot at home.. so i can't check email in the morning or nite.. THANK GOD Kevin found a deal on a External Hard Drive.. so I didn't lose my photos or music... AGAIN.. but It's frustrating not having my computer in my apt... Kristines fiances father is graciously taking a look at it to see if it can be fixed.. we'll see.. hopefully i won't have to buy a new one anytime soon... fingers crossed..

i really want to just tell you the little things that make me happy... but bear with me... i'm going thru something.. I don't necessarily understand (OR LIKE for that matter) I'm trying to work my way out of it...

Much love...
Kerilyn