High/Low 11.20.08 "She's Rambling!!!"

Hiety Ho!!!!

Can you believe that next week is Thanksgiving!!! Holy Moly this year has FLOWN by!!! This year has been the most challenging and most rewarding of my life to date. Truly. For most of you that have been with me for years.. you know i've been thru a lot (haven't we all? that's why we're here!) 3 job layoffs.. unemployment.. journey to find my place in my career , finding financial independence, etc.. but this has been the most important challenge to date, I feel.. facing my biggest fear. I guess i've always been facing my fears and overcoming them.. this year just feels like a cumulation of the one issue that has been "plaguing" me since I was a little girl.. My self worth. This year has brought me face to face with the truth that I AM worth it.. that I am beautiful and smart.. and valued.. and loved.. warts and all. That I love myself enough to make a decision that was against what my heart wanted... the little voice inside me saying "You're deserve so much more Kerilyn!!!" And, while it hurt like hell (and it has) this has also been a testimony to my own self worth. It's been a tug of war.. naturally inclined to NOT believe I was worth it due to my own conditioning... and having to leave a relationship that I did love and care for that I wasn't receiving what I deserved.. and then being with someone who constantly tells me I'm worth it.. and having to take baby steps to really start to believe it... what a ride this has been!!! That I don't have to compete for love or BEG for it.. I am learning just how much I have used my fear that I wasn't worth it to sabotage myself.. over and over again... and how much I VOWED to myself that I would face this so I can move past this.. once and for all. To shine a light on the dark places.. uncover the cobwebs.. and bring about a new chapter of health and wealth and prosperity in my life. To be IN LOVE with me.

I'm so proud of myself I can't begin to tell you. I deserve a great big gold star...A+++!

Whew.. where did that come from? um.. ok.. moving along...
onto 3 things 2 things :

3 things that make me happy:
1. Oh my gosh.. I had a GREAT GREAT GREAT evening last nite!!! Started with a really strong run last nite.. then my girl Kristy and I had a yummy dinner and took the metro into DC to go to see Spearhead !!! The venue was awesome.. the music was awesome.. dancing my booty off and sweating like crazy.. it was awesome!! I think I was smiling the whole time!!! Almost 3 hours of songs and dancing.. my tootsies were a hurting. Then my honey came and Picked us up in his pickup.. how awesome is THAT!!! Door to Door Service.. I love my honey. All in all a picture perfect evening!!! *** CHECK OUT MY PHOTOS FROM FLICKR***
2. Feel great today despite my late nite..Got a late start but I feel really good today strangely. Wearing my favorite shirt!!!
3. I really feel like things are settling down.. and I'm really starting to enjoy my life more.. Sounds crazy.. but I have been on the defense for a while now.. and I can sense a shift to offense and enjoying things much more! Yippee!!!

2 things I am looking forward to today:
1. Running of course
2. Coming home.. and heating up a wonderful bowl of Peter's chili... with some cornbread.. and watching my TV Shows I've recorded.. and then going to bed EARLY!!!

2 long term things I look forward to:
1. This Sunday I am going to be tutoring an old co-worker (hopefully soon a friend) in CAD. I really enjoy what I do (finally) and was flattered that he emailed ME of all people to help him learn CAD. (and get a little moolah would be nice too!)
2. 4 Day weekend next week!!! Woo Hoo!!!

1 person I am going to appreciate:
My sister.. Kristine.. she has become my closest friend to me this past year.. I have leaned on her and we've spent more time together this year than I can ever remember as an adult. I am hopeful that this next year will bring some wonderful additions to her and her husband life.. and that she can smile from the inside out!!! I love you little sister!

Ok.. rambling your ears off!!!
Much Love
Kerilyn

PS: I miss you Matthew... just want to say that... I can't wait to get that text that says your home for good!!!!