High/Low 8.2.05

Mornin butterflies!

What's shakin... I am amazed how fast life goes... it's more than 1/2 way thru my 30th year... so far.. not too bad.. some new thoughts.. changing some old thoughts..increased awareness to when I am trying to fool myself.. not too bad...

Had a groovalicious day yesterday.. went by quickly... work kept me busy.. had lunch with Matthew.. or M.A.T.T. as yesterdays comment suggests.. cute.. went to the gym and ran 2 miles after not going to the gym at all last week.. wow.. i felt great! strong and steady 2 miles.. then arm workout.. and then... yum.. I got a smoothie!!! SOOO good!!!

Something I've noticed recently... my circle of friends has gotten a bit smaller.. I used to be doing this.. with this friend..and that with that friend.. now it's not so much like that.. It's interesting to me.. when I notice it.. Naomi and I still talk every day.. and I talk to my girl Kyra every day (via email) but I don't have a need to keep track of everything in my dayplanner.. I've also become a smidge more spontaneous (yea.. i said a smidge..let's not go crazy here.) I don't feel either happy or sad about my relatively shrinking circle of friends.. I think the circle that I have now.. is a reflection of where I am inside.. I think I'm gradually accepting that things aren't always what I've expected them to be.. and that's ok.. if I accept them.. they usually turn out even better.

My sorta friend at work, she's 28.. and going thru some stuff.. Wow.. it was amazing to hear her talk about the things that I used to be conflicted with.. It's kinda like in our late 20's.. we have that conversation with the young us.. trying to remain young... with the older us.. yearning for us to stop thrashing about so much.. It was really interesting to me to see her going thru the same thoughts I used to have just a few years ago.. NOTE: It's not that I turn 30 and I suddenly stop my own inner frustrations.. heck no.. but it's different a bit now.. than just a few years ago..

Ok.. I like doing this.. it keeps me focused away from the not so important relatively:

3 things that make me happy:
- driving home after working out.. with the windows down.. a good song on.. i'm dancing and singing.. and even better if I have a smoothie in my hand!
- that moment when I shut out the light.. and turn onto my side in my bed.. there's a sigh of release my body and mind does that comes nanoseconds before I fall asleep.. it's like saying "I let go"
- Daydreaming of daydresses and mango tea... remembering my walk down to Mancini's on a Saturday morning for breakfast and coffee.. reading the paper or a good magazine..feeling like I'm not supposed to be anywhere else..

2 things I look forward to today:
- Eating Pho with Jonathan for lunch (Vietnamese Soup)
- The possibility that tonite's run MIGHT be as painfree as yesterdays!

2 long term things i am looking forward to:
- Next Monday, I have a focus group, to discuss internet use - one hour for $100.00 cash!
- Going thru all my old bills, magazines, etc.. paper products and shredding..

1 person I am going to appreciate:
- myself - I am really proud of me today.. feel really relaxed.. feel like I'm going with the flow a lot more.. accepting that I don't know what's going to happen.. and to relax into it a bit more.. that it's not always bad. yes.. I think today.. I appreciate myself.

Ok.. have a great day my tulips!
onward and upward
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn
-