QUOTE FOR THIS MOMENT:

" There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. And so --now -- knowing all that you know from where you now stand, now what do you want? The answers are now coming forth to you. Go forth in joy, and get on with it.." - Abraham via Jerry and Esther Hicks



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    Daily goings on in my consistantly metamorphasizing life.. trying to figure life out.. as it throws me around a bit. Enjoy!

    "I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

    Monday, July 31, 2006

    High/Low 7.31.06

    Hey all..

    Been a while I know.. eh.. nothing much to say... same 'ol, same 'ol...

    OOh... Naomi and I hung out yesterday.. and while sitting in traffic right in front of the new metaphysical bookstore that's about to open.. I have been wanting to go in there an introduce myself.. offer any help (as a reader/volunteer) as well as to get my cards in there.. Well I looked a little ragged..it's the weekend and if i'm just hanging out.. i usually go sans a shower as long as I can without being offensive... but eh.. I see a guy in the window of the shop.. so Naomi graciously waited as I went in there.. I had a GREAT converstation with the owner.. about all subjects mentnioned above... she showed me around the store... talked spiritual community in the DC/VA area.. and how if she needed any help... she should give me a call.. I'd even volunteer just to be in the energy of spiritual people.. "talk shop" so to say... on the weekends a few hours if need be... and definitely if they need a house reader (if you don't know what that is.. email me.) I'm the woman! Oh.. and I talked about my cards.. she said.. "you should bring them in.. I have more space on my card rack (wow.. um.. ok thanks!) So I'm going to go in there this week and bring some to show her my cards and hopefully get in there.. I hope she calls me to help.. I have been feeling pulled to this shop.. waiting patiently as they get it up and running... in an attempt to exercise my spiritual muscles more.. which have been a bit in couch potato mode as of this last year... We'll see... I'm hopeful!

    Other than that.. it's really been the same topics... in this brain of mine.. job.. what am I going to do come May when I need to find a new abode... Constantly evaluating my relationships... really feel in a holding pattern in my life.. flying over the scenery... trying to access my next move... which is inevitable.... and try not to beat myself up for not knowing the answers.. or what to do.. or why i choose some of the decisions I do...

    oh yea.. I stopped eating grain again.. as of last monday when I took a good hard and disturbing look at how I'm getting bigger and I don't want to pretend it's not happening anymore.. I totally spaced on my eating habits on Friday nite when being handed a big bowl of Pad Thai when I was out with a few co-workers in Annapolis on Friday.. but other than that one mess up.. I've been bread/rice/cereal/pasta free for a week... I did this for almost 2 years.. felt great... i know I've said this before to those who've been following.. but I just feel more mentally clear when I am not eating grain.. or things made with flour to be more specific.. it's really the difference between a cloudy and a clear blue sky.. more energy (unless it's girl time .. which it is for me.. ugh) Ok.. so I'm not pushing myself to pack clothes to go to the gym (yet) like I was.. but I think another week of this..and I will try to get back on the wagon... I will try.

    "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" - Unknown..

    I believe that.. I was once a skinny Kerilyn... most of you have met that Kerilyn.. and while yea yea yea.. this Kerilyn is fine too.. most of you know that the smaller one was quite a bit happier inside her soul about herself... and I am the ONLY one that can do something about it...

    It's Monday.. I'm ready for Friday already. I'm glad It was payday this weekend... My new years goal was to save $5000 by the end of the year so I can take a 2 week trip to Italy.. Gosh.. I know that I would've been up to the $3000 mark if it wasn't for a car repair.... and unforseen invoices... I really want to try to be more vigilant the rest of the year to build that moolah.. Cause whether I use it to travel abroad or not.. I really would like to have the in the bank... so I can at least imagine of what i can do ..... again.. I"m hopeful to meet my goal.. (if anyone wants to donate to my cause.. email me.. ) hey.. miracles happen!

    K.. writing this was nice for me.. so who knows.. maybe I'll do it again tomorrow!
    Have a good one everyone!
    kerilyn
    www.ancora-imparo.net

    Thursday, July 20, 2006

    High/Low 7.20.06

    howdy...

    feeling strangely good today.. last nite i journeyed over my limit of alcoholic beverages and this kerilyn girl was a bit drunky... whew. 4 Beers and I'm done! I came home (don't worry I didnt' drive) and there.. on the dining room table was a potted tree and a really amazing card from Naomi. See.. the closing on her side was yesterday.. and she's gone.. (geographically and regularly) I know that she's only a phone call away.. but I'm really sad. Breaking into spontaneous crying spells on command... our friendship has changed the past 6 months.. not bad.. just changed... i think preparing us for this big change... but it's still emotional for me.. Naomi has been my everyday for a long time.. and now she can't just stop on by...

    Got call from my dad already.. my mom's surgery went well... My sister and I will be going to visit her after work tonite.. (My mom has really bad Rhumatoid Arthritis almost everywhere and she was having a mass of RA removed from her foot) She'll have to be off her feet for almost 4 weeks. eek.

    Tomorrow I'm off work.. I'm going to spend the day with Kevin.. (he has polycystic Kidney disease.. and is having a biopsy of one of the cysts in his kidneys - poor baby) So I will be nursemaid for the day...

    Saturday I'm resting (I NEED to force myself to do nothing.. I know it's totally within my control but I still feel like I'm running running... Sunday Kevin and I (maybe my friend Kristy too) is going to Baltimore to go to see Spearhead at Artscape on Sunday.... Should be fun... hopefully it won't storm.. but i'm sure it'll be hot and sweaty...

    It's noontime.. and that means it's time for lunch!
    Have a great weekend!
    onward and upward.
    kerilyn

    Monday, July 17, 2006

    High/Low 7.17.06

    Ok for the record.. it's monday.. and i'm really kinda feeling down... it seems like my life's been chaotic as of late.. i know how i handle it is what i can control... but i dont' know how to handle it..

    i want to be in DC.. work and live in DC... i went to dentist on friday afternoon.. watching people walk from their jobs to home.. and i was ... of course.. sitting in traffic.. i found myself so jealous.. i am a city girl at heart.. i can do the metro/subway/etc... i would be happy wearing a backpack to get around... even shoot.. getting a bike...

    my monday-friday/9-5 life.... is chaotic.. i'm too far from home.. spending WAY too many hours in my car.. stewing.. i'm typically a patient person in the car.. but this is getting nutty... my foot hurting from going from first gear to neutral.. sitting in traffic... i'm not knowing from day to day which office i'm in.. till the end of the day.. which is unsettling... makes me feel totally unsettled...

    i feel like i haven't had ONE moment of my own time in so long.. i am feeling suffocated with my surroundings... i miss me... i miss my autonomy.. gosh.. and i know i can put a stop to it all and bring me back... just seems that everything is moving so quickly..

    sigh.. i don't know what's going on... what's happening..
    i just know i feel like i'm spinning today... spinning so fast.. and i feel like I can't focus on one thing... i just want the spinning to stop...

    so i'm mush today.. emotionally... so if you need me i'll be in a pile over here in the corner...

    Tuesday, July 11, 2006

    Questions to get to know me better

    Found these questions on 'My Space' (yes.. i have a profile) and answered there.. thought i'd share with ya'll.. :)

    1. What is your religious faith if any and how devout are you? I AM A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON.. BELIEFS IN REINCARNATION, KARMA, ENERGY, OUR SOULS "CHART", MEDITATION, SPIRIT.. THAT WE NEVER DIE..I QUOTE STEVEN COVEY "WE ARE NOT HUMANS ON A SPIRITUAL JOURNEY, WE ARE SPIRITS ON A HUMAN JOURNEY" I MEDITATE EVERY DAY.. AND FIND IT'S IMPORTANT TO STARTING MY DAY (AS IS MY CUP OF COFFEE.. BUT THAT'S ANOTHER QUESTION)

    2. Have you ever been married and if so will you marry again? NEVER BEEN MARRIED.. BUT AROUND 28 YEARS OLD.. THE YEARNING TO SETTLE DOWN STARTED TO GET STRONGER... NOW I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE MARRIED WITH BUN IN OVEN OR WITH CHILD IN TOW.. BY THE TIME I'M 35. (I'M 31 NOW) WHO KNOWS...

    3.What is your diet like? What do you and dont' you eat and how much do you or dont' eat? EEK.. ALL I CAN SAY IS RIGHT NOW.. I KNOW I CAN STAND TO CURB THE FREQUENTING OF EATING OUT.. AND TRUTHFULLY HAVE LET MY EATING HABITS SLACK OFF CONSIDERABLY..

    4. Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? BOTH.. FUNNY.. WHEN IT COMES TO MY OWN DREAMS, GOALS AND LOVE LIFE.. I SOMETIME LEAN ON THE FEELING LOST SIDE.. BUT WHEN IT COMES TO ME PEERING OUT INTO THE VASTNESS OF LIFES POSSIBILITIES.. I'M DEFINITELY HALF FULL.. I'LL ADMIT THAT I SOMETIMES PLAY THE VICTIM ROLE.

    5. Do you drink alchohol? If so, what kinds, and how often? EH.. I ENJOY A DRINK FROM TIME TO TIME.. MARGARITA WITH MEXICAN FOOD (OR CORONA) A COCKTAIL OR GLASS OF WINE WITH A NICE DINNER.

    6. How do you like to wear your hair? I ACTUALLY SPEND THE TIME DOING IT.. I PONDER GROWING IT LONG AGAIN.. BUT RIGHT NOW IT'S KINDA SHORT.. PARTED ON THE SIDE MOSTLY. I DO NOT LIKE MY HAIR IN MY FACE.. AND SO I'LL PUT CLIPPIES (WHAT I CALL EM) IN MY HAIR TO AVOID THE BLOWING OF THE HAIR OFF MY EYES..

    7. How many pairs of shoes do you own and what would you prefer, heels or flats? I AM NOT LIKE TYPICAL GIRLS WITH SHOES.. GIVE ME A PAIR OF FLIP FLOPS.. MY TRUSTY BIRKENSTOCKS.. AND MAYBE A CUTE PAIR OF BLACK AND BROWN SHOES AND I'M GOOD TO GO.. NOW TRUTHFULLY.. BEING 6'1 .. I WEAR A SIZE 11 SO I FIND IT HARD TO FIND CUTE SHOES (NO CUTE SHOES IN MACYS FOR ME, UNFORTUNATELY)

    8. Do you have tattoos? If so, how many, what are they and where are they?I HAVE 1 TATTOO (SEE PICS) I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY TATTOO AND DEFINITELY HAVE BEEN FEELING THE ITCH FOR MORE INK.. AND SOON!!!

    9. What is your view on this Bush administration? SIGH... UM.. I THINK ANYONE WE PUT IN OUR LEADERSHIP ROLE.. WE ARE GOING TO BLAME... OR BACK BEHIND.. IT'S REALLY THE DUALITY OF LIFE.. IT'S EASIER TO CONTINUALLY TRY TO FIND THE FLAW/WEAKNESS.. AND.. TRUTHFULLY.. WAR IS ABOUT FEAR.. FEAR THAT SOMEONE/SOME GROUP.. WILL TRY TO FORCE US TO BELIEVE SOMETHING.. OR DO SOMETHING.. OR ACT SOME WAY.. SO IF WE CAN TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT OURSELVES.. WORK ON.. OURSELVES.. FIRST.. I THINK WE'LL HAVE A BETTER HANDLE ON WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WORLD.. WITH OUR BEAUTIFUL EARTH.. MAKES ME SAD.

    10. Do you smoke anything? I HAVE SMOKED IN THE PAST.. ADMITTEDLY ENJOYED IT FROM THE TIME I WAS 17 AND HAVE BEEN SMOKE FREE FOR YEAR AND HALF NOW.. DO I.. UM.. SMOKE????? HAVEN'T IN YEARS.. BUT I'D REALLY LIKE TO SOMETIME.. IT CAN BE GOOD TIMES..


    11. How close are you to brothers/sisters/mom/dad?I AM VERY CLOSE WITH MY ONE AND ONLY LITTLE SISTER.. SHE'S BECOMING ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS.. MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY.. MY PARENTS.. SIGH.. I WISH WE COULD BE CLOSER BUT IN THIS LIFETIME WE ALL HAVE TO DEAL WITH OUR OWN "STUFF" AND IT'S SAD BUT I AM NOT FRIENDS WITH MY PARENTS.. I WISH I WAS..


    12. Do you have children? If so, how old and how many? NO KIDS.. BUT FEELING THE CLOCK... I SEE BABY BELLIES ALL THE TIME AND I'M LIKE WONDERING IF THAT WILL BE ME... I KNOW I'LL BE AN EMOTIONAL PREGNANT WOMAN.. IT'S SUCH A MIRACLE.. THANK YOU GOD.

    13.What is your current proffession and what are some of your ultimate dreams? I AM AN INTERIOR DESIGNER BUT IN REALITY .. I AM A CAD TECHNICIAN... I WORK AT A FURNITURE DEALERSHIP.. (SYSTEMS FURNITURE.. OR CUBICLES..) IS IT CREATIVE? HELL NO.. DOES IT PAY OK MONEY.. YEA... WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO IS OPEN MY OWN SHOP.. WITH SPIRITUAL THINGS... CDS BOOKS, CARDS, CALENDARS, INCENSE.. CANDLES.. ETC.. AND AT THE SAME TIME I WANT TO WORK ON MY OWN HOMEMADE GREETING CARD LINE.. CALLED BENCHMARKS.. AND I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO WORK THIS 9-5 CRAP ANYMORE..

    14.Where do you see yourself in 5 years and where do you see yourself in 20 years?GOSH.. HAVE NO IDEA.. I THINK I'VE KINDA GIVEN UP HAVING THOSE LONG TERM EXPECTATIONS.. CAUSE IT REALLY KINDA LETS YOU DOWN WHEN YOU HOLD SO TIGHTLY.. I WOULD LIKE TO BE MARRIED.. WITH A CHILD IN 5 YEARS.. OUT OF THE 9-5 THING .. AND ON MY WAY TO MY OWN SHOP.. AND CARD LINE.. MAYBE IN DC.. MAYBE SOMEWHERE ELSE (NYC MAYBE??) IN 20 YEARS.. I'M NOT SURE THAT I'LL BE ALIVE.. I THINK OUR EARTH CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF OUR ABUSE.. WE'RE LIVING ON BORROWED TIME... BUT WHO KNOWS.. I HAVEN'T REALLY THOUGHT THAT FAR AHEAD.

    15. What are the 5 most important things to you and what are the five least important? HMM IMPT THINGS FIRST.. ONE.. MY CAT PEZ.. I LOVE MY GIRL.. SHE'S BEEN THERE WHEN NOONE HAS.. TWO.. MY FAITH.. BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I'M NOT IMMERSED IN MY FAITH.. I KNOW I BELIEVE.. THAT I'M NEVER ALONE. THREE.. MY FRIENDS (AND SISTER/AUNTIE).. GOSH I CAN'T COUNT HOW MANY TIMES THEY'VE PICKED ME UP AND COMFORTED ME.. AND ALSO TAUGHT ME HARD LESSONS.. 'FRIENDS ARE OUR CHOSEN FAMILY' I BELIEVE THAT SO MUCH.. FOUR.. MY SOMETIMES SURPRISING KNOWLEDGE THAT I'M A CREATIVE PERSON... PHOTOGRAPHY.. AND ART.. AND MUSIC.. SO DAMN IMPORTANT TO MY SOUL... ON A EVERYDAY BASIS.. FIVE.. NATURE..BIG BEAUTIFUL TREES.. SMELLY FLOWERS.. THE OCEAN... THE FOREST.. BUTTERFLIES.. 5 least impt... UM.. GOSH..ABOVE AND BEYOND.. VIOLENCE.. THERE IS NO NEED... DO NOT RAISE A HAND TO ME.. OR ANYONE ELSE.. IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU.. GOSH THIS IS A TOUGH ONE... IT'S NOT IMPORTANT THAT I LIVE IN A BIG BAD NEW HOUSE.. WITH A BIGGEST BADDEST CAR. IT'S NOT IMPORTANT THAT I HAVE AN OPINION.. OR ARE JUDGEMENTAL TOWARD EVERY FRIGGIN THING UNDER THE SUN.. EVER HEAR "IF YOU POINT YOUR FINGER AT SOMEONE ELSE.. THERES 3 FINGERS POINTING BACK AT YOU?" I BELIEVE THAT.. I TRY NOT TO JUDGE.. I REALLY TRY...I WANT TO BE THE KIND OF PERSON THAT IS OPEN TO EVERYTHING.. NOT JUST THE GOOD.. I CAN LEARN FROM EVERYTHING...

    16. What do you call an ideal soulmate?
    (FIRST OF ALL.. IS THERE REALLY A 'THE ONE'? I DON'T KNOW.. BUT IN MY SEARCHINGS.. THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT HAVE MADE THIS DREAMER GIRL GET ALL OOGLY GOOGLY) FOR ME.. A TALL, SLENDER, INTELLIGENT, FUNNY, SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE, SELF AWARE, PERSON.. WHO IS AWARE THEY ARE LEARNING.. AND CAN LAUGH AT THEMSELVES.. WHO CAN EXPRESS (PHYSICALLY/EMOTIONALLY/ETC...) HOW MUCH VALUE I BRING TO THEIR LIFE.. LIKES TO GO ON ROAD TRIPS... AND LIKES TO READ... SOMEONE WHO ENJOYS SPENDING TIME KISSING.. AND OH MY GOSH.. I CAN'T TELL YOU.. HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ME... THE HIDDEN LANGUAGE IN HOLDING HANDS.. TO EVERYONE ELSE.. SAYS "I AM WITH THIS PERSON" ... SOMEONE WHO CAN GENTLY HOLD MY FEARS IN THEIR HANDS WITHOUT MAKING ME FEEL AFRAID.. AND SOMEONE WHO TRUSTS ME WITH HIS FEARS.. OH.. SOMEONE WHO LIKES REGGAE MUSIC IS A PLUS TOO :)

    17. If you were to go on a date to the following, what IN DETAIL would you wear: Opera(BLACK DRESS, STRAPPY SHOES- CAUSE HOPEFULLY WE'D GO OUT TO DINNER AFTERWARD, Stage play(A LESS FORMAL DRESS), Art exhibit(MAYBE SOMETHING UNDERSTATED WITH A POP OF 'KERILYN' IN THERE, DinnerCruise (UM.. I CAN HONESTLY SAY I'VE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT MY ATTIRE FOR A DINNER CRUIZE), Movie (JEANS AND COOL TOP), Lounge (SOMETHING FUNKY) , Stadium game (SOMETHING TO JUMP AROUND IN).

    18. If your companion comes home late without calling and desired intimacy, how would you handle that?
    HMMM... HAS HE BEEN DRINKING? THATS IMPT.. BEEN THERE.. DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.. UM.. IF HE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE A MOVE WITHOUT BEING ANNOYING (THAT IS IF I'M IN FULL REM SLEEP, PLEASE LEAVE ME BE) OR CAN I BE GENTLY AND LOVINGLY WARMED UP? BUT I'M NOT AGAINST A LATE NITE BOOTY CALL...

    19. If an estranged woman declares your companion has had an affair with her, how would you handle that? OOH.. GOSH.. THAT'S A TOUGH ONE.. I THOUGHT I KNEW.. BUT AGAIN.. JUST WHEN YOU FEEL SOME WAY.. LIFE WILL BRING YOU THAT EXACT SITUATION IN WHICH YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE SAME DECISION. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW I'D REACT.. PROBABLY 'HANDLE' IT THE BEST WAY I KNEW HOW.. PROBABLY WITH ANGER, JEALOUSY, SADNESS, AND CONFUSION...

    20. What are your views on retirement? HECK.. IF I HAD THE MONEY NOW.. I'D RETIRE.. I KINDA WISHED THAT WE AMERICANS WOULD TAKE MORE SEBATICLES AND EXPLORE OUR DREAMS MORE NOW.. BEFORE WE'RE TOO OLD AND WE CAN'T ENJOY OUR KNEES (TOTALLY QUOTING MY BEST GIRLFRIEND NAOMI)

    21. Describe your view of affection and romance. GOSH.. SECRETLY I'M INTO PDA.. PROBABLY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER REALLY HAD SOMEONE WANT TO WALK DOWN THE STREET, HOLDING MY HAND.. AND STOP TO KISS ME.. WHICH OF COURSE MAKES ME WANT IT MORE... ACTUALLY IT MAKES ME KINDA SAD THAT I HAVEN'T HAD THAT YET... HOPEFULLY ONE DAY I WILL... BUT YES.. GENTLE KISSES.. HANDS ON BACK WHEN WALKING THRU A CROWD... AND HOLDING HANDS...HOW I LONG FOR IT.. MY WHOLE BODY IS IMMEDIATELY FOCUSED ON 5 ON 5... LIKE A PACIFIER TO A BABY..

    22. Do you wear jeans? If so how often?EH.. BEING A 'BIG' GIRL.. (FUCK IT I CAN ADMIT IT) AND JUST WATCHING TWO EPISODES OF 'WHAT NOT TO WEAR'.. I KNOW I NEED TO ACCEPT MY SHAPE MORE.. I DON'T REALLY SPEND TIME SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE THAT I HAVE TO SHOP IN THE BIG GIRL SECTION.. (MAKES ME TEAR UP ACTUALLY) AND SO I HAVE ONE PAIR OF JEANS THAT I KNOW... NEED TO BE REPLACED WITH A NEWER AND BETTER LOOKING PAIR...

    23. Have you ever physicaly engaged (punch) with your companion? UM BESIDES PLAY FIGHTING.. AND THE TOTAL NEW JERSEY GIRL PUSH 'HEY! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR".. PUSH. NO.. I CAN'T SAY THAT I'VE EVER BEEN IN A FIGHT IN MY LIFE..

    24. Are you a very open and friendly person that requires a lot of attention or are you a very,"to yourself" and private person? UM.. I CAN BE BOTH.. I AM VERY OPEN.. EMOTIONAL.. SENSITIVE.. CAN TALK YOUR EAR OFF.. WHEN IT COMES TO SMALL CROWDS... I CAN BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION THEN.. BUT FOR SOME REASON.. WHEN I'M IN LARGER CROWDS.. ESPECIALLY WITH PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW AND THEIR DRINKING.. I BECOME A WALLFLOWER.. AND HONESTLY I DON'T MIND THAT I'M LIKE THAT.. IT MAKES ME FEEL SAFE.. SO YEA.. I CAN DEFINITELY BE BOTH.. (I'M SURE MY FRIENDS CAN TELL YOU MORE ABOUT ME ON THAT.. RIGHT?)

    25. Have you ever dated a millionaire? If so, what was his proffession and why did it end? NOPE.. NEVER DATED A MILLIONAIRE.

    26. If you had a perfect conversation, or a perfect first date, will you wait for him to call or will you call? TALKING ABOUT SPIRITUALITY WITH SOMEONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE.. IS TOTALLY A TURN ON.. OOH.. AND TALKING ABOUT ART..AND REGGAE MUSIC.. SOMEONE WHO ASKS A LOT OF QUESTIONS .. TO GET TO KNOW ME.. TOTALLY A TURN ON.. CAUSE I LIKE TO ASK QUESTIONS TOO.. NOT SURE ABOUT PERFECT FIRST DATE.. HAVE HAD MANY GREAT ONES.. AND YES.... I'VE DONE BOTH.. WAITED FOR HIM TO CALL AND ALSO NOT WAITED.. I'M NOT SHY TO MAKE A FIRST MOVE.. IF THE CHEMISTRY IS THERE..

    27. Where are the top five places that you would like to live and why? 1. ITALY (IT'S MY HISTORY) 2. NEW YORK CITY (AGAIN.. MY HISTORY.. I'M A TRUE NEW YORKER AT HEART 3. DEL RAY, ALEXANDRIA,VIRGINIA (CAUSE I LIVED THERE AND LOVE IT!) 4.SAVANNAH, GA (I FREAKING LOVED LOVED LOVED LIVING THERE AND WOULD MOVE BACK IN A HEARTBEAT!) 5. SOMEPLACE ARTSY ... AND CITY LIKE.. AND WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE TO PLACES.. 5. I W

    28. If you had a million dollars, what would be the most important things you would do? SADLY.. A MILLION DOLLARS WOULDN'T GET YOU FAR.. BUT I THINK I'D FIRST AND FOREMOST.. PAY OFF MY SISTERS DEBT... AND GET HER THE HELL OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE.. THEN GIVE SOME MONEY TO MY PARENTS.. I'D REALLY LIKE TO OPEN MY SHOP THEN... WHO KNOWS...

    29. Do you cook, clean, etc? I LIKE TO COOK.. DONT' DO ENOUGH OF IT.. AND YES.. I'M A NEAT FREAK... SWEEPING COUPLE TIMES A WEEK.. COME ON! I'M A DESIGNER... MY HOUSE IS ALWAYS (RELATIVELY) READY FOR A SURPRISE GUEST!

    30. How many children would you like to have or are you not interested. LET'S JUST START WITH ONE.. I'D LIKE TWO THOUGH... BUT FIRST GOTTA FIND SOMEONE WHO'S REALLY INTERESTED IN ME..

    31. What are 5 things that make you laugh and 5 things that sadden you? MAKE ME LAUGH: 1. THAT ALMOST BORDERING ON RUDE SARCASM THAT IS SO FUNNY.. THAT PLAY BACK AND FORTH.. YEA.. THAT'S SEXY TO ME (OH AND FUNNY TOO) 2. MAKES ME LAUGH NOW.. BUT YOU KNOW WHEN A WORD, SAID OVER AND OVER AGAIN.. JUST SOUNDS FUNNY.. YEA.. I HAVE A FEW WORDS LIKE THAT.. LOL.. 3. ALMOST EVERYTIME MY SISTER AND I HANG OUT WE GET INTO THESE TEARING UP LAUGHING FITS.. I LOVE THAT.. OK.. SADDEN ME... 1. VIOLENCE.. 2. WHEN I SEE PEOPLE CUTTING DOWN TREES.. RIPPING UP THE EARTH.. IT MAKES ME FULL ON CRY..I KNOW THAT BY DRIVING A CAR I AM DOING DAMAGE AND I'M SORRY FOR THAT.. BUT SEEING THE DAMAGE MAKES ME FULL ON CRY 3. KNOWING THAT SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW.. SOMEONE IS IN DANGER.. 4. THAT THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD THAT ARE THE FIRST.... TO JUDGE SOMEONE ELSE.. BUT THEY ARE NOT ABLE TO LOOK AT THEMSELVES WITH THE SAME SELF INQUIRY.. AND (THE BIGGEST PART) WORK ON THEMSELVES.. 5. THAT WE TAKE OURSELVES SO FREAKING SERIOUSLY THAT WE END UP DYING WAY BEFORE WE NEED TO... WE THINK THAT WE GOTTA GET THIS DONE NOW.. OR WE FAIL.. (TRUST ME THIS IS A CHALLENGE FOR ME TOO) BUT THERE REALLY IS NO FAILING.. FAILING IS IN OUR OWN MINDS.. OH AND 6.. WE LISTEN TOO FUCKING MUCH TO SOCIETY.. OR THE "TRIBE" AS I HAVE COME TO CALL IT.. IF WE WOULD PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT OUR HEART SAYS.. WE WOULD DEFINITELY BE 'SO MUCH OURSELVES".. SAD.

    32. What are your views on abortion and gay marriages? ABORTION.. I HAVE A SPIRITUAL ANSWER FOR THIS.. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.. NOT JUST THE FUN AND HAPPY STUFF.. EVERYTHING.. EVERYTHING...HAPPENS SO WE CAN LEARN SOMETHING.. INSTEAD OF SAYING "WHY DID THIS HAPPEN?" SAY.. "WHAT AM I LEARNING".. AND GAY MARRIAGE.. HELL.. IF I MET AND FELL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN (NOT INCONCEIVABLE) I WOULD WANT TO MARRY HER.. I HAVE A SPIRITUAL ANSWER ON THIS TOO.. MULTIPLE LIVES.. TRY OUT MULTIPLE GENDERS.. DIFFERENT LESSONS.. (EH.. I'LL LOSE YOU HERE.. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE.. EMAIL ME)

    33. What do you think of the following people; The Pope (EH), Mayor Ray Nagle (N/A), Actress/Singer Cher(FUNNY AS HELL 'WILL AND GRACE' EPISODE WITH JACK AND CHER.. THAT'S WHAT I THINK OF WHEN I THINK OF CHER, Secretary Condellezza Rice( CONCERT PIANIST AND LEADER.. YOU GO GIRL!, The Rock (EH), and OJ Simpson? (I'M NOT WORRIED.. HE'LL GET WHAT HE DESERVES.. NOT IN THIS LIFETIME.. BUT MAYBE THE NEXT)

    34.How would you chastize your children? Spanking, punishment, etc. Also someone elses child. (boyfriend, niece, etc)? GOSH.. TOUGH ONE.. I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT.. MY CHILDREN.. I REALLY WANT TO TEACH MY CHILDREN THAT THEY HAVE CHOICES.. AND EVEN THE BAD ONES HAVE THEIR OWN LESSON TO LEARN.. I DONT' WANT TO HIT.. THAT BECOMES A MEMORY.. HELL I DONT' KNOW.. AND OTHER CHILDREN.. SAME... WHO KNOWS???

    35. What are some of the practices that you feel keep a family together? MAN.. I WISH MY FAMILY WERE CLOSER.. BUT FOR ME.. A FAMILY REUNION IS IMPORTANT.. I MISS GOING TO MY UNCLE VICS HOUSE FOR BOCCE AND LOTSA FOOD! ALSO CHRISTMAS EVE AS A FAMILY.. MY AUNT MARGIES HOUSE.. YUMM.. HER STUFFED CLAMS.. JUST GETTING TOGETHER.. MUCH EASIER WHEN WE ALL LIVED IN NYC/NJ.

    36. How would you show love? Do you say it more than you show or vise versa? Please describe. WELL I WRITE GREETING CARDS.. I WRITE A BLOG.. TRY TO TELL MY FRIENDS HOW I FEEL.. I AM NOT SHY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW I FEEL.. THAT I AM PROUD OF THEM.. OR THINGS I THINK THEY CAN WORK ON FOR THEMSELVES (GENTLY) I LOVE TO LOVE.. I LOVE TOUCHING OTHERS.. AND I LOVE BEING TOUCHED.. I TRY TO SAY IT AND SHOW IT... I WANT SOMEONE TO KNOW.. INSTINCTIVELY THAT THEY CAN COME TO ME.. THAT I WILL CRY WITH THEM.. AND FOR THEM IF THEY CANNOT.... I WILL SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM... AND PICK THEM UP FROM THE AIRPORT AT 3AM.. I CAN SIT IN SILENCE WHILE I'M BEING A SUPPORT.. OR TRY TO CARRY EVERYTHING INTO THE HOUSE CAUSE YOU HAVE TO PEE.. I QUOTE MY WEBSITE... ANCORA IMPARO ... " I AM STILL LEARNING"

    THANKS.. THIS WAS GOOD FOR ME.. :)

    Wednesday, July 05, 2006

    High/Low 7.5.06

    Hiety Ho my lovelies...

    Wednesday already (yea). I'm still in vacation mode in my brain.. feel relaxed.. chill... it's overcast today and being told of more thunderstorms (big surprise) I hope your 4th was just what you wanted it to be..

    Nothing much to say today.. i feel good.. status quo.. nothing big and uproaring going on outside of my body or more importantly.. no intense ping pong games going on inside this churning churning brain o' mine.. which is a nice change..

    so with that being said.. i'm doing 3 Things 2 Things :

    3 things that make me happy:

    1. Getting a spontaneous text message from someone on my cell phone.
    2. Reviewing pictures on computer taken with digital camera and realizing some of them came out really good.
    3. Feeling Hope in lifes unknowns. (Which coincides with feeling like all is going well in Kerilyns world)

    2 things you are looking forward to today:

    1. I want to try to go for a walk tonite.. if it's not raining.. I need to start moving my body on a more regular basis..I mistakenly stepped on roommates scale this weekend.. um.. ouch.
    2. Getting out of work tonite.

    2 long term things you are looking forward to:

    1. I'm hoping to go to Asheville, NC to visit my girl Kyra and her main squeeze in September/October.
    2. Have a meeting on July 15th at a metaphysical shop which might ease me back into my faith a lot more.. which would, I think, make me happy.

    1 person you are going to appreciate:

    1. My friend Kristy.. she made a difficult decision yesterday and I'm proud of her for honoring herself.

    K all.. that's it for me today.. I hope you have a good one.
    onward and upward.
    kerilyn

    Tuesday, July 04, 2006

    High/Low 7.4.06 Independence Day!

    Ok...

    What are we really independent of? The American way is SO dependent on Gas... and $7.50 matinee movies ... and small houses worth half a million dollars. Are we really independent? And wireless internet and blackberrys.. are we? We're told that the art of doing nothing means one has no motivation or drive..wasting away... really? i just want to sit on the couch and read? I don't want to go to a cookout.. or to a fireworks show... i wouldn't mind going to a pool and taking a dip if it wasn't 90 gabillion degrees outside and thanks to all of our car exhaust and chloroflurocarbons.. can't sit outside for more than 2.5 minutes without having to complete a full body scan for melanoma...

    Anyway... it was just a spontaneous rant...

    So I had no power from Sunday nite... around 6pm when a sweeping 10 minute storm knocked over trees and subsequent power lines.. it was a flashback to a time when we weren't so dependent on air conditioning.. a time when I think our bodies were more accustomed to the heat.. now it's run from a/c to a/c... I enjoy the heat.. for the most part... yea the sleeping part is a bit ardeous.. but still.. reminds me of being in Savannah... (miss that damn town) So the power was out.. by 10 pm... there was really nothing to do... except go to sleep which I did. I sat on the couch... watching the heat lightining... listening to my emotional girl songs on my IPOD (thank goodness I had charged it before the pwr went out.. independent huh?) i digress.. it was nice... just me.. my thoughts.. which turned into tears.. for the people i miss..the 'back in the day' ness of my life.. it was a beautiful moment for me.

    Anyway.. I hope whatever you do... cookout.. fireworks.. or just laying on your couch reading (HEAR HEAR!!!) i hope you enjoy your day.. for most of us.. we have to go back into the work world tomorrow.. and try to hold onto whatever independence we have... but today is a day just for it.. so do whatever the hell you want!!!

    Happy 4th people.
    Kerilyn

    oh.. check out.. i've posted new pics on flickr... :)