High/Low 6.30.06

Goodbye Moon... I mean.. June...

Howdy all.. it's friday... and a holiday weekend for me.. got monday and tuesday off.. i wanted to write to say i hope you have a good weekend.. the rain has come... and yes.. there has been damage.. and i've sat in traffic more this week than i can remember.. (BIG UGH) and yes.. it's greenhouse effect.. but it's also healing the earth from all the damage that WE do to her.. yes.. WE dig her up.. and cut down trees.. and burn her.. and completely manipulate her.. do you think that she's not going to retaliate from time to time.. Don't get me wrong.. if my house flooded.. I would not be a happy camper.. but in the larger universal/worldly view of our earth.. we are taking up residence on earth.. not the other way around... Like the Native Indians.. honors Mother Earth.. we take her for granted for the most part.. see cut up trees??? eh.. we are used to it.. but should we be used to it? Call me a sensitive drip.. but it really makes me choked up when I see trees uselessly being cut down.. i KNOW that i cannot truly fathom how many trees are cut down to make our REAMS AND REAMS of paper that we WASTE!!! So as much as yes.. it stinks that homes are flooded.. and roads.. etc... I think an apology to the earth is needed.. in our own little way.. cause we are living on borrowed time.. if we don't realize the damage we're doing..

anyway.. wow.. a tangent in full waxing poetic.. That was not my intention to digress like that.

onto the High/Low:

High: I am going away for the weekend.. I'm kinda psyched about it.. I really enjoy the Charlottesville area.. Monticello.. It's Kevins birthday Sunday and so I've planned a getaway.. he's never been to the area.. so we're going.. I got us a Bed and Breakfast... I'm hopeful it's a good time. good Photo opportunities.. gotta delete pics from my memory card in my camera. I was SOOOO excited yesterday when I got a phone call from a woman from the Corcoran who knows my dream of working there.. there is a position for Assistant Registrar available.. and it would be a break to work in an art school like i wanted.. but it's only 29,000 a year. Sigh.. and while I would LOVE to be at the Corcoran every day.. I can't responsibly live on that salary.. (kudos to those who can) so It is with some sadness that i must decline.. I stumbled upon this AMAZING artist yesterday.. wow.. she's so inspiring to me.. i was mesmerized by her art.. her beautiful life..http://www.flickr.com/photos/queenthings/
check her out.

k.. i'm running late (again) gotta go.

oh.. Low: I know that I am not feeling 'so much myself' lately in my relationship.. I am nervous/unsure of things.... i know that every day that goes by... my feeling gets stronger... and I know I should just drive my car with my heart..but i'm scared..

k.. gotta jet.. have a gREAT weekend..
love to you all.
onward and upward.
kerilyn

Late Nite High/Low 6.21.06

Hey there..

Yawn... i'm tired.. my mind is spinning.. just got back from a 2 hour Focus Group where we talked about Coffee ... NOT too shabby.. and ended up with $150 bucks in my pocket..which is awesome cause i have been spending too much money on food lately..

Don't you love it when it's so nice outside.. and you see someones windows open.. and can kinda peer into someones life for a minute.. while you walk by.. and you imagine what they're doing.. what they're like? yea.. i do that.. i know a lot of you do when you have the chance.

Quote time:

"Refuse to fall down.
If you cannot refuse
to fall down,
refuse to stay down.
If you cannot refuse
to stay down,
lift your heart toward heaven,
and like a hungry beggar,
ask that it be filled,
and it will be filled.
You may be pushed down.
You may be kept from rising.
But no one can keep you
from lifting your heart
toward heaven."
Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Sigh.. High/Low time...

High: I got a phone call from my girl Kyra today.. Kyra and I don't actually talk
to each other often.. so to hear her voice is almost like the best surprise.. I
can't wait to hear about her vacation.. and her journey this past week... Got $150
dollars that I can use.

Low: Had a really stinky and stressful day at work.. two words.. peoples attitudes
another two words... my damn reaction (ok that was 3 words but u get the gist)
Kerilyn was in panic mode today.. at work... Can't wait for the weekend.. Kinda want
to be alone this weekend... gotta busy weekend ahead of me though...oh well.

Oh! Good News (and sad news) ... Naomi sold her house! It's not 100 percent official..
but the home inspection went well and a few little things Naomi has to fix.. they'll
buy it! That's great! And very sad.. for me.. to lose her.. next door... and in my
daily life.. I don't write about it much.. but this her transition has been difficult
our friendship has changed.. as we prepare for this separation..but I'm really sad..
How many more best friends do I have to lose?

:( ok.. i'm not doing to drip in sympathy for ya'll.
nite nite.
kerilyn

High/Low 6.15.06

Hiety Ho my lovelies...

What's shakin? It's Thursday! Tomorrow starts the weekend.. I'm ready for this weekends festivities.. (yes.. even going to my parentals on Sunday for Fathers Day) It's been SO nice out.. it's mid June and I haven't had to put the air conditioning on except for like 2 days so far.. Rockin.. nice breezes and sleeping with open windows.... so nice.

High: Ok.. Last nite I went to meet and catch up with my SPARKLEY friend Roxanne.. Roxanne is beautiful, smart.. spiritual.. and very wonderful person all around.. I love her. I always feel more centered when I hang around her. We went to eat Thai food (very yummy) chatting about Life in general... ups and downs (well.. mostly how I felt lost... ) We went to this art shop
afterward.. she wanted to show me something she was looking at. Well I got to talking to the sales guy there.. and i asked about how do artists submit their art.. well i got to show him my cards.. and he loved them! He said they were Fabulous! I just HAPPENED to have (3) cards.. in their plastic sleeves, all ready to go.. with me.. so I gave them to him to show the owner of the shop.. he said she'd love them.. gave him my business card... and left.. He was showing other customers my cards when we were leaving! WHAT A RUSH!!!! Roxanne hadn't ever seen my cards at this point (which i didn't know) and so i showed her.. She was SO AMAZING!!! She said "Kerilyn.. you are not lost.. you know what you want to do.. you just need some guidance." I can't tell you how much I needed to hear that.. Besides the rush I was on... from my experience in the shop.. having someone SEE how passionate and emotional I am about KNOWING that my cards resonate with other people... it just confirmed that I need to get my BUTT going.. and figure out a way to mass produce my cards without losing their artistic integrity.. I have been riding the wave of the rush ever since then... SOOOOO excited to see my old roomie Kriss on Saturday.. haven't seen her since last October and I can't remember the last time I spent time with her alone..

Low: Um... Had a foot dr appointment for tomorrow.. leaving work at noon.. but had to reschedule to Monday.. wish i could've kept appt tomorrow.. early start on weekend.. oh well.

Yea.. so ... I'm feeling pretty good today.. I am thinking of my girl Kyra.. hope she's having fun on her vacation.. OH>. Naomi got an offer on her house! It wasn't even a week since it's been on the market!! We'll see what happens.. I think it's sold!

K all.. isn't that GREAT news! Going to call owner of PULP on Monday.. wouldn't that be SO COOL!!! TWO MORE SHOPS!! And.. my friend Scott and Stephanie are going to help me get my cards on EBAY!!! Who knows.. I feel some stirrings going on...

Thanks for all your support and love.. trust me I feel it!
onward and upward
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.13.06

I know... I know.. it's been a few days...

was busy.. and I think I wanted to wait a few things till i really had something to say.. (Funny.. that's what my best friend Matthew says when I ask him why he doesn't call me as often as i'd like.. lol) First off.. my chosen KICKASS quotes for the day, no, for the month:

"Don't wish me happiness,
I don't expect to be happy all the time...
It's gotten beyond that somehow.
Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor.
I will need them all."
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Do not let your fire go out,
spark by irreplaceable spark,
in the hopeless swamps of the approximate,
the not-quite, the not-yet,
the not-at-all.
Do not let the hero
in your soul
perish,
in lonely frustration for
the life you deserved, but have
never been able to reach.
Check your road and the nature of your
battle. The world you desired can be
won. It exists, it is real,
it is possible, it is yours."
- Ayn Rand

Wow.. if a quote can help inspire.. I chose these two~ ya know?

Yesterday I wanted to post a LOST flyer and staple them to all the telephone poles in the neighborhood.

What is lost you ask? Well I'd say that yesterday.. my spirit was lost..yucky emotional day yesterday for this dreamer girl... I can admit that since sometime in July 2004.. (well probably before that but It didn't officially happen until my last day at my 3rd job since I graduated that I got laid off of.. I remember the MOMENT I lost my spirit for my career.) (Note to spiritual self: Damn it Kerilyn... don't you know that if you keep SAYING.. "waah waah.. you lost your spirit.. that you'll have an even HARDER time trying to find it again!!!) (Note to you: I promise I'm not crazy) Ok.. ok.. how to rephrase??? um.. Something shifted.. back in 2004.. a detour.. of sorts.. Can I say that it's been rewarding? Well I've met some great work friends that I wouldn't of met otherwise..

then last nite... I had a moment.. where I asked "Is it ok that i'm 31 years old and I still don't have it figured out what I want to do with my life? I mean.. I think it is.. There are a lot of people who do not know what they want to do.. who are still searching.. Shit.. my father is 60 years old and what he wants to do more than anything is to work (and get paid) at Habitat for Humanity and there's no paid position open. I mean the man works up to 30-35 hours a week VOLUNTEERING at Habitat.. it's kinda amazing.. But here I am.. still wondering.. what it is??

I went out to dinner with my friend Kristy tonite.. and brought this subject matter up.. she says.. "Well you know what you want to do..." True.. I do.. I want to help inspire others (too damn broad answer) I want to bring spirituality.. and altruism into my everyday life.. oh.. and I want to interact with others.. who are searching.. Damn it YES! That's the simplest answer.!! It just came to me .. right now..

I want to interact with others who are searching!!!

Which.. in turn, will probably make me .. this little big girl feel less alone.. To reach out and recognize that wounded and lost other person... walking down the street in the other direction.. to help them not feel alone and in turn.. me not feel so alone..

(ok.. so some of you.. aren't lost.. i know 2 people in my life who seemingly are on the right track) Yes.. there are exceptions to every rule..

Anyway.. I BLOW the lid off of random tangents..

well I feel better.. for the moment.. telling you all this..

OK... OK... so I'm going to bed.. it's late.. and I'm going to say it.. and try to believe it.. (and if i have a hard day believing it.. I'll call my Auntie.. she's always good at the pep talk about this topic.. i.e. my life)

It's OK that i'm 31.. that i am not sure what I'm doing relationships wise.. where I want my next geographic location to be (but i know I feel a change) I know what I want to do.. but not HOW to do it.. or WHO to ask for for help.. and it's OK that i'm single.. and have no kids.. that at 30 i bought my first car...

It's ok.. it's ok If i decide to take another job tomorrow..
it's ok.

ok.. that's all for me.. i'm going to bed now.
thanks for letting me rant.
love you all,
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.8.06

Howdy!

Can you tell I'm feeling better.. that my faith is coming back? my hope? it is.. incrementally.. THANK JAH! (Side note: been thinking .. still feel pulled to want more tattoos.. never got the Ancora Imparo tattoo (YET) but now I think I want a tattoo of JAH (which means God in Rastafarian) somewhere where people can see it too.. back of my neck? i don't know.. will I really get it? who knows... heh heh.. i'm silly. Quote time...

"In everyone’s life at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flames by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the human spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

"I have one life and one chance to make it count for something . . . I'm free to choose what that something is, and the something I've chosen is my faith. Now, my faith goes beyond theology and religion and requires considerable work and effort. My faith demands -- this is not optional -- my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference. " - Jimmy Carter

High: I found a GOLDMINE yesterday!!! I found a Carvel Ice Cream store close by to where I live!!! HOLY MOLY!!! It looks like it just opened!! I can't WAIT to go and get a cone with twist! mmm! Growing up in NYC.. this was SUCH a treat!!! Going to Carvel.. and our birthday cakes were ALWAYS Carvel.. with the "crunchies" :) Finished up all the cards I had to last nite.. started working on drawing another card.. re-doing the birthday card I tried...Got an AWESOME email from my Uncle Ben in NYC!! I LOVE when I hear from him.. it makes my day!!! So yesterday I talked about this shop.. I made a phone call to this metaphysical shop about readings.. and cards.. well I talked to the owners assistant.. I have to call next monday about making appt to meet with owner to show her cards.. talk about readings and how i'd LOVE to teach a class. . meditation possibly.. who knows!!! I made an appointment to get a facial NEXT Saturday morning.. i can't WAIT!! My face can't wait too!! :) I got an email from my old friend Joe who I don't talk to very often.. nice to hear from him. I also talked to my friend Ron today.. need to catch up with him soon too.. my spiritual cohort. GREAT meditation this morning. In VA office today.. yea! Having dinner with Kristine tonite. I feel cute today.. like my outfit.. and good hair day!

Low: Sigh.. not sure about status of relationship/s right now. (Don't really want to talk about it.. if you want to know more.. email me - don't want to vomit to the entire internet universe) . I didn't want to get up this morning.. even when I was smelling coffee I still wanted to get back in bed with Pez.. (she's my furry kitty girl.. for those new to my high/low)

k... talk to you later..
onward and upward
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.7.06

Morning!

Wednesday.. weekend almost here! It's been beautiful past few days.. sunny... breezy.. not hot.. really nice.. I hear a bit of rain is coming in but we need it.. so that's ok.

Quote for the day:

"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in." - Erma Louise Bombeck

High: Finished up last of leftovers last nite.. yum! So happy when I remembered I had dessert after awesome leftover dinner! Talked to my Auntie last nite.. Got ready for bed around 8:30 last nite (got in pj's.. got coffee ready for morning,shut windows, etc..) and sat in the basement and worked on cards.. downloaded AWESOME Reggae Music.. (can't tell you how listening to Reggae music makes me SO happy! Felt really good.. dancing around.. listening to Buju Banton... I'm also happy cause Friday nite I'm hanging out with my girl Davina.. haven't seen her in a long while! Interesting phone call from Peter late last nite.. slept like a ROCK last nite too.. I forgot to turn on my alarm; which could've been bad.. but i woke up at normal time. hmm.. body clock set i guess. GREAT meditation this morning.. nice and sunny out.. listening to inspirational CD on way to work.. I'm in VA office today.. going to have dinner with sister tonite. Oh.. I saw pictures of a 3 year old Wyatt today (for those long readers of my High/Low.. remember my "boyfriend") wow.. he's so cute! and a Redhead!!! Tonite I think I"m going to go to this metaphysical store.. talk about readings.. and my cards.. fingers crossed!

Low: The remote control for TV was acting REALLY weird last nite and I was frustrated I couldn't change channels.. (thankfully it seemed to fix itself overnight! HA!) Last nite I got caught in the MOTHA of traffic jams.. found out it was a trash truck on fire that closed down highway.. sitting there for almost an hour!

K.. hope you have a great day!
onward and upward
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.6.06

hey all..

tuesday.. looks like it's supposed to be a nice day... weather wise.. guess i'm on a quote kick...here's one for today.

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand." -Woodrow Wilson

eh.. how bout a High/Low for a Change?

High: SO happy that I had leftovers last nite from our Barbque on Sunday... sat on the couch with a Corona with my burger, piece of chicken, potato salad and beans.. yum! Good coffee this morning. I'm really glad I'm in the VA office today.. it feels more like where I"m supposed to be.. really glad i"m going to be here tomorrow too. Miraculously I woke up feeling a bit sad.. listening to that inspirational CD going to work made me feel better.. and I feel better now.. Thank God.

Low: My tummy is upset today. Can't figure it out.

Hmmm... i remember how i so enjoyed writing a high/low.. i might just get back to the true purpose of why i call my ramblings High/Lows...

k.. that's all for me today..
onward and upward
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.5.06

Morning..

How was your weekend? First off... two quotes that I felt connected to today:

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." -Earl Nightingale

"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny." -Carl Schurz

Good huh? Weekend went by quickly.. whew. BEAUTIFUL weather though huh? well here anyway.. Strangely this morning I feel on the verge of tears as I sit here... I'm hopeful change is coming.. good change.. wonderful change.. kerilyn has never experienced this kinda change.. i've been trying to visualize it.. but.. like all things.. the unknown is a bit like walking on sand.. u never know when the ground is going to shift beneath you and you'd have to readjust your footing.. just keep looking up.. not at your feet.. and you're body will naturally adjust.. or it should anyway..

ANYWAY.... rambling.

Saturday went to my friend Steph's for her birthday breakfast at her apt with my friend Scott.. great time chatting..I LOVE her place..georgeous views from her rooftop pool area.. Gosh How i'd love to be a city girl.. giving some serious thought to moving into DC.. have some other thoughts of moving.. Asheville, NC (to be nearer to Kyra - MAYBE) and to Atlanta (to hang with Liz and Matthew) then there's other options but too many variables unknown yet.. but so many options i'm pursuing in my brain.. Want to do something in next 6-9 months.. definitely by next May.. Sunday afternoon, Kristine and her boyfriend came over.. we had a bbq.. good food. yum. then we all played the game Kevin bought few weeks ago.. it was fun! We had a great time playing.. and it was so nice out!

Weird seeing Naomi move all her stuff out of the house.. it goes up for sale this Friday.. weird thinking someone I don't know will be next door..

Lots going on emotionally.. typical Kerilyn churning churning in the brain..

Ready for the weekend already.

k.. that's all for now..
onward and upward
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.2.06

Morning!

Happy Friday to you! It looks like it's going to rain.. but it's cooler today so that's good!

First off I would like to start with a quote I just read:

"When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument."Thich Nhat Hanh

It's true.. I wouldn't blame the lettuce.. but why do we do that with each other?

I feel pretty good today.. Been listening to inspirational CD in the car all the time.. which has been helping a lot!!

Yesterday I got another consignment check... store sold 2 of my cards in May.. it's so empowering to think that someone connected with what i created.. and wanted to share with someone else.. it's an amazing feeling! I went by the shop last nite to bring by more cards (the inventory there is getting low.. how awesome!) And I CANNOT tell you how amazing it was to see my cards in the spinning rack of cards! Wow. The woman who owns it said she noticed my inventory was getting low and that i should do more cards.. different ones. The energy around my cards has picked up the past 2 weeks.. I'm giving some serious thought to 1. looking into (just doing some research) about selling cards on EBAY- have no experience with that. and 2. there is a great website/catalog called Femail Creations.. that I am thinking of contacting to see if they'll buy/consign with me..

I got an AWESOME email from my really great friend Phyllis.. from High School.. Phyllis your email made my day yesterday thank you! I miss you too..

This weekend.. not sure what's going on.. hanging out with Kristine and her boyfriend on Sunday.. making breakfast for my friend Stephanie to celebrate her birthday with my friend Scott.. looking forward to that.

anyway.. just want to thank you for your emails.. your support.. and just that you read this.. I so needed to feel you there this week.
thank you.
onward and upward.
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net

High/Low 6.1.06

Hi ya'll...

I know.. I know.. where have i been? i just haven't been in the mood to chat lately... I'm still here though.. so if you want to know how i'm doing... shoot me a line.. So the weathers changed for the hotter past few days.. I unfortunately had to flip on the AC which.. while it's nice to NOT sleep in the muggyness.. I try to only use AC Sparingly.

Lots of things going on.... inside and outside my brain...

Had a really good reading on monday morning.. i feel like i got some good insight.. It's an interesting challenge to 1. put ACTION into trying to create something you want and at the same time 2. let go and release expectation of exactly how it's going to play out..

Been listening.. NON STOP... in my car to a Abraham Seminar (http://abraham-hicks.com) that has been helping me a lot lately.. I feel my faith coming back incrementally which makes me happy.. My meditations past few days have been more spirit based and less 'whoa is me'. I still have NO idea what's going to happen in the next few months.. I predict a lot of changes coming.. in various arenas of my life.. job.. relationships.. geographic locatio (possibly).. choice of cohabitation.... on one hand it's exciting.. and the other... i don't know the exact time frame.. so I'm kinda just waiting to see what plays out.

I talked to the owner of my favorite shop in DC, PULP , about meeting with him about my cards.. he said to call him back after Gay Pride DC which ends the 11th of June.. so i'm psyched! I hope that I can get my cards in there.. I've been working on them gradually the past few days.. got some ideas to change my cards up into pieces of framed art. we'll see..

k.. that's all i have to say for today.. I hope you have a good day (PS: Auntie... we need to catch up)
onward and upward
kerilyn
www.ancora-imparo.net