High/Low 5.30.07

Hi there.

How ya doin? Good weekend? I had a great time in Savannah.. spending time with Michelle.. being in her space... it was very nice. I have to upload my pictures sometime so you can see... I had something AWESOME happen... I'm waiting for one of the Galleries in Savannah to email me a Consignment Agreement.. I am officially going to have my cards in a Gallery in Savannah!! Holy Shit! It was spontaneous.. and Kerilyn was totally in "What do I really have to lose" mode when I went and talked to the owner of the Gallery... I'm also working on (fingers crossed) getting my cards into the 'shopSCAD' Shop as well... Michelle and I went there but we kept missing the manager (and it was memorial day weekend.. ) Michelle is going to be gracious enough to drop my cards over there.. so we'll see..

Sigh... today I go back to work... (I was going to go straight to work from landing yesterday but I talked to my boss and took yesterday off as kinda a "mental health" day) Funny.. my mental health seems to be somewhat questionable as of late.. like a see saw.. one minute I feel fine.. great.. patient with myself and those around me... feeling exactly where I'm supposed to be.. and the next.. I'm like "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING???" ... Funny thing is I was talking to Michelle about the puzzle that is my life.. and how I really do have all of these BIG pieces of my puzzle put together.. the job (BIG piece!) I'm fine financially (Another BIG one).. where I live.. etc.. but I still have two BIG pieces that are still not fitting in just right.. my Physical Health (my weight) and my future with regard to love and my "plan".. (Married and being pregnant/having a child by the time I'm 35ish - yes I did say child) It'll be what it'll be.. but I teeter totter back and forth.. so I'm feeling a bit vulnerable and confused most of the time about these two subjects...

Ugh... Whatever.. I'm just rambling to ya'll.. Sorry...

Beautiful Day in DC today..... Let me go find out how the rest of my day is going to turn out..
Have a good one my people..
I love each and every one of you... truly.
:) Kerilyn

High/Low 5.24.07

Howdy!

Ok.. I have to sneak a posting at work.. got wrapped up in trying to make myself look all pretty and springy today.. and didn't get time to sit down and write ya'll...

Ok... tomorrow.. I'm off to Savannah.... I'm excited!!! It happens to also be payday which is awesome too! :) I talked to one of the girls that works at Shop SCAD which is a shop for Students/Alumni and Teachers... and they told me they will be there every day during this holiday weekend... I'm hoping to bring in my cards... I think they would go great in there!

Oh and my Echocardiogram yesterday was a breeze.. I'll tell ya.. Emotional and Spiritual Kerilyn popped in during it.. It was Quite overwhelming listening and watching the screen showing my heart beating... you can SEE the blood pumping thru it... and listening to it.. made me get teary.. laying there... I, We.. totally take our heart for granted.. it beats unconditionally for us every day.. every minute of the day... and It was so amazing listening to it... I spent the rest of the day.. and now.. thanking it.. Our Heart is part of God... We.. are Part of God.. and it was an amazing experience.. I'll get the results (That my heart is PERFECT!) in 72 hours..

so.. onto 3 things 2 things :

3 things that make me happy:
1. I woke up in a good mood.. feel pretty today.. put on eye makeup.. and my contacts.. . I already got 2 compliments today which is always nice!
2. After my Doctors appointment I treated myself to a Twist Soft Serve Ice Cream Cone at CARVEL!!! YEA!!!
3. I sat and watched the Season Finale of the shows 'Brothers and Sisters' , 'Heroes', & 'Veronica Mars' (They cancelled the show.. I am TOTALLY BUMMED!) last nite.. I had a yummy dinner of Texas Toast and Ziti.. and enjoyed catching up on my shows!

2 things I'm looking forward to today:
1. I picked up one of the Designers from our Richmond office.. and when she gets back from her client meeting.. we're going to get Thai. YUM!
2. I'm going to go to Kevins after my dinner plans tonite.. He got his new Flat Screen TV yesterday.. that he's been SO excited about.. and I'm psyched to see it!

2 long term things i'm looking forward to:
1. I gotta say.. just being away.. by myself.. with Michelle... I'm SO excited to spend time with her.. be "so much myself" and relax! (And get a ride in her Mini.. I've never been in a Mini)
2. Getting my Pez girl back after my trip... almost 2 months without her.

1 person I am going to appreciate:
I appreciate spending time with the Designer from our Richmond office today.. it's SOOO nice to talk to another designer.. who understands what I do every day.. It's SO nice to talk the technical talk with someone who REALLY understands!!!

Ok.. More tomorrow!
Much love!
kerilyn

High/Low 5.23.07

Morning..

Ok.. I feel better... It's so amazing to me how much my stress level is raised (TRUST me.. I know this is SELF INFLICTED.. I do not point fingers at anyone but myself) when I'm under a deadline.. I really thought that I was past this panicky feeling at work.. since I am in such a good place.. at a good place.. but nope... As SOON as my deadline was met yesterday afternoon.. AHHHHH.. I magically shifted back to my regularly scheduled program.. for the most part.. WHY do I get so emotionally overwhelmed?? I do not like this part of myself.. and have tried to change it for years.. but it keeps creeping up... I wish I knew why....

So.. it's Wednesday.. another BEAUTIFUL day here... Beautimus!

so quickly onto 3 things 2 things:

3 things that make me happy:
1. I slept REALLY soundly last nite and it took a while this morning to come out of my temporary hibernation... which felt good.. I "went deep" last nite...
2. I LOVE that my girl Kristy is around the corner.. I was trying to decide where to put my clock.. and so I called her and she came over to help! SO Nice!
3. Today... HOPEFULLY.. I will be able to begin one large job.. 80+ stations... and will be able to enjoy doing it for a few days.. LOVE THAT!

2 things I'm looking forward to today:
1. At 3.. i go for my Echocardiogram.. so I'm leaving work early.. I want confirmation that everything is ok... cause my heart beat thing is still happening... (although not as much the past two days so that's good)
2. I was planning on going to Naomis contest tonite... but I talked to her.. and I think I'm just going to wait to go till next week when things will go back to "normal". I'm not GOING anywhere.. or DOING anything.. except being HOME.... I need some real "me" time.. and I have done a piss poor job of holding myself to it.

2 long term things I'm looking forward to:
1. Waking up.. and Being able to sit and have Coffee with Michelle.
2. Getting the commission for my 80+ stations..! :) maybe an extra 500 bucks?

1 person I am going to appreciate:
Man.. I really really miss Naomi.. her being in my everyday life.. Last nite I talked to her for 40 minutes or so... and i haven't talked to her or spent time with her in a long time... and it felt SO good.. I kinda got a bit of myself back... Before Kevin.. Naomi was my every day... (I mean you can't get much closer than your next door neighbor! HA!) I can't tell you how AWESOME it feels to have someone else.. who is able to easily swim in the "deep end" of emotional life... someone who I am able to express my deepest feelings with.. good and bad.. who can hold our "stuff" in our hands without pretending it's not there.. or wanting to throw it away... God I am lucky to have her in my life and LOOK FORWARD to spending more time with her after the dust settles.. (and Naomi.. thanks for understanding about me whimping out tonite.. I love you so much)

ok.. i gotta boogy.. and get to work!
Much love.. and see.. I'm better.. everyone has a bad day once in a while.. thankfully It doesn't last long..
:) Kerilyn

High/Low 5.22.07 VENTING SESSION.. BEWARE!

Morning...

I just want to give you a heads up that I am mostly fine..I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow.. sigh.. SO amazing how much I believe in "The Secret"... but recently.. I feel SO far from that... Aveeno.. Take me away... It's going to be a beautiful day... supposed to be around 76 degrees today...Why am I feeling like i just want to lay in my bed with my covers over my head.. I want to be left alone.. I want to call out "sick" and not answer the phone.. do my own thing...I don't want to think about stuff..(overthink is more like it) or anyone elses "stuff" either... I dont' want to BUST MY BOOTY to meet this deadline today.. when I feel like It doesn't REALLY matter anyway.. I know this is life.. I just am really not in the mood to have to be ANYTHING of what anyone wants me to be today.. I don't want to be nice.. or cordial.. I am feeling angry.. and vengeful a little.. I don't want to have to "handle" anyone's neurosis.. or have to defend myself for feeling the way I feel...

At work... just in the past 2 weeks.. we Designers got another set of responsibilities laid on us.. and last nite RIGHT before I left work.. I almost lost it when telling one of my co-designers that I feel it's not fair... that we have to do this extra work.. which is (in my opinion) TOTALLY throwing off the balance of the other responsibilities of the parts of the team.

And that's just ONE subject in my life where I don't feel it's only MY responsibility to "Keep it together".. What makes it alright for others (i.e. my parents,etc... ) to go on with their neurosis.. and I .. ME... KERILYN has to freaking compensate.??????? WHATTTTTT?

I know that life is sometimes "not fair".. Please believe me I do.. and I FULLY believe that this is just a test that I WROTE.. to see if I'm learning anything at this point in my lifetime... but how I'm feeling today... with EVERYTHING... is I want to JUMP up and down... yelling at the top of my lungs... " IT'S NOT FAIR.!!!!! IT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO DO EVERYTHING... I CANNOT BE EVERYTHING!!!"

hence... my wanting to be left alone...

So there... that's where I am... so if you call me... or email me today.. don't expect much more than that...

Nothing more to say..

High/Low 5.21.07

Morning Teacups!

What's shaking? It's MONDAY... I'm feeling pretty good this morning.. Sunny Monday Morning.. Truth be known.. I haven't quite felt myself lately... work has been busy.. with deadlines that trigger my past experiences.. and I am not quite settled into my apartment totally yet... I'm getting there.. I woke up this morning.. can basically see my week laid out before me.. and after today's push at work.. I am predicting I can relax in my brain a bit... and almost coast to Friday when I leave for SAVANNAH!! I'm so excited!!! It's supposed to be a beautiful week weatherwise.. in the mid-70's.. chilly in the mornings.. like now.. in the 50's..

ok.. onto 3 things 2 things:

3 things that make me happy:
1. Last nite.. after going to my parents to celebrate a Post Mothers Day/Kristine and my fathers Birthday... Kevin and I drove into DC and walked around the Tidal Basin .. the sun was setting.. weather was divine.. it was really nice. :)
2. I spend 4 hours on Saturday afternoon/nite putting together my Microwave Cart .. It looks REALLY good.. If a microwave cart can be classy.. this is it!
3. Seeing my kitty girl last nite (my mom is still taking good care of her until I return from Savannah) She seemed a little upset with me.. but I could just be sensitive to that...
4. As of today I have all my laundry done! SUCH a good feeling!

2 things I am looking forward to today:
1. Ok.. I've basically mapped out my day with regard to getting my deadline done.. and If I am not interrupted.. I should have my drawings out to another designer for crosscheck by the end of the day today! That's my goal!
2. Going to Kevins tonite to watch the Season Finale of '24'... Maybe.. Kevin will make dinner so I won't have to think about that.. (Kevin.. hint hint) :)

2 long term things I am looking forward to:
1. (POSSIBLY) Maybe Liz and Matthew meeting me at the Atlanta airport during my layover.. I gotta look at the times.. this may not be feasible.. but it would be awesome if it was.. and they were available...
2. Just being with Michelle this upcoming weekend.

1 person I am going to appreciate:
My sister.. again.. I give her Kudos to "put up" with the UNNECESSARY and UNREALISTIC pressure she's under.... long story.

Ok.. I'm off to dive into this beautiful Day!
Much love to you all!
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.18.07

Hiety Ho...

Happy Friday to ya... It's a chilly one today.. overcast.. and ya know what? that is fine with me.. I am not feeling to sunny today... more like i want to go unnoticed... I want this friday to slide by... I don't know why exactly.. but I just do... so the weather kinda suits my mood....

ok... no rambling.. onto 3 things 2 things:

3 things that make me happy:
1. A Clean Car - I think I'm going to have my car detailed when I get back from Savannah.. She needs and deserves a thorough cleaning.!!!
2. Yesterday I got my Aveda products in the mail.. They were in a box at the front door when I came home!
3. I got a nice email from my boss yesterday... I really do enjoy my job for the most part.. and feel valued! Also.. we talked to a client yesterday.. and I told her that we'll have one part of this job to her today and she seemed impressed... That made me VERY happy!

2 things I'm looking forward to today:
1. I'm going to a Cardiologist today.. Since Tuesday I've been having this very unusual STRONG heartbeat.. it comes at random times and by Wednesday afternoon it started freaking me out... So I'm looking forward to the Dr saying "it's nothing...." and "No Medication is necessary." I'll let you know what happens this afternoon (I'll update this post.. just so you know)
2. Going to get my nails done after work! Maybe my feet too.. who knows..
3. I'm going to lunch with my friend Jonathan .. to have pho which today is a GREAT day for pho!!!

2 long term things I'm looking forward to:
1. I AM SO EXCITED to see my kitty girl on Sunday when I go to my parents house.. I haven't seen her in WEEKS!! I miss my Pez girl...
2. Going to Savannah... Spending time with Michelle.. and getting a Facial!!!YEA!!

1 person I am going to appreciate:
Naomi - She has worked SOOO hard for her Comedy Competition called The Funniest Fed Competition .. She should be VERY proud of herself.. I'm going to go to her show next Wednesday... to check out how it's going !! YEA NAOMI!!!

Ok... Have a good weekend.. I'll update you on my Drs appt later here.. if your interested.
Much love to you all...
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.16.07

Hiety Ho my lovelies..

How's it goin? Wednesday... Ok.. I still am a little tired.. still have unpacking/setting up to do in my apt.. still have to unpack my suitcase from my trip... (been moving it back and forth from the bed to the floor in order to sleep) I need a free weekend... but.. as I do not see one for 3 weekends.. I need to accept it... I really do miss my kitty girl... I know my mom is spoiling her rotten.. but I miss her furryness next to me when I wake up... :( I finally feel like I've got a grip on the workload ahead of me.. and have been working late.. which will continue for a few more weeks.. argh... I know.. I know.. I'm being complainy... this is why I haven't written.. trying to "get a grip"

ok.. onto happier subjects... 3 things 2 things

3 things that make me happy:
1. On Monday.. I had an overwhelming Monday return to work.. had to TOTALLY redo something that I worked my butt off to do before I left and totally changed while i was gone) so I had to bust a move to get that done.. SO.. (good part) one of my co-workers bought me flowers.. which was so nice.. they are beautiful.. and it was a nice surprise. (and quite a big surprise.. for I'm not "friends" with this co-worker)
2. I LOVE my 5 minute commute to work.. it makes me SO happy!!! I am so happy that my concern about getting to my staff meeting on Tuesday Mornings is not relevant anymore..
3. I opened a new bank account so I have everything separated.. (Everyday living, My Bumper, Rent Money) I am starting to realize that this move here will allow me to save even MORE money than I think I originally expected which ROCKS! I feel so on top of my finances and it's SUCH A FREAKING GOOD FEELING!!!
4. I really do feel like I was missed while I was gone at work.. and I just plain feel valued.. last nite we had a little happy hour/graduation for the new salespeople going thru the training sessions.. and I had a great conversation with one of our managers about how I'm good at what I do.. IT MAKES ME FEEL SO DAMN GOOD!!!

2 things that I'm looking forward to today:
1. Now that I have a better grip on my workload.. I can start "knocking it out"...I am hopeful that the job I start today will not take the week that I predicted..
2. Going home.. putting on some comfy clothes.. getting some laundry done.. MAYBE.. putting together my microwave cart.. and just being by myself... catching up on some of my Tivo Shows... (I stayed up last nite till midnight to watch 'Heroes' - SUCH an awesome show!)

2 long term things I'm looking forward to:
1. I am excited to get my Fed Ex with my Aveda products! (Long story but during our layover in Minneapolis.. we went to the Mall of America.. and i bought all this Aveda stuff.. and thankfully remembered that I can't bring liquids on the plane.. so I thought I had to return it.. so when I brought it back the woman said she'd ship it to me.. which was SO AWESOME!) So.. i'm looking forward to receiving it!!!
2. Getting my feet and nails done... WAY overdue! Maybe Friday nite...
3. Next weekend.. Going to Savannah!! I am really excited to go and do something with my girl Michelle.. just her and me.. and me.. just being me..

1 person I am going to appreciate:
My sister..(sorry to mudsling.. don't tell on me ok?) My parents are not being very supportive about my sisters recent engagement..making living in their house difficult.. I'm kinda upset at them for that.. but I'm really proud of her that she has "stayed the course".. and is just focusing on the positive.. I am very very proud of her!! Go Kristine!

ok... that's it for now..gotta boogy and get ready for work!
much love to you...
:) Kerilyn

High/Low 5.14.07

Hey there Peeps!

How are you? Happy Monday to ya! Whew... big breath.... well I'm back..we're back... um.. let's see.. I'm happy to say that although I felt I tried to not have any expectations as to what we were going to do...my time spent went better than I didn't expect.. (Sound confusing? I just mean that my worst case scenerios in my head didn't happen... so that's good.) It's always a little weird hanging out with your boyfriends family... for a week.. in their house.. with no transportation of your own... but I think I handled it all pretty good.. and I'm pretty damn proud of myself... I have the pictures.. didn't take too many but I'll get some of them up maybe tomorrow...

So let me go.. I have a VERY BUSY WORK WEEK ahead of me... probably the most busy since i've been at this job.. so please bear with me.. I have NO idea what lies ahead of me today.. and I am wanting to think it's much better than I'm expecting (yes.. I'm expecting here..)

Lots of things rattling around in Kerilyns head... but that's not surprising.. is it? ha!
Hope you are well..

oh.. and Friday was my sisters 31st birthday.. Let's give it up for Kristine!!!! Happy Birthday Kristine!! And Happy Mothers Day to all the Moms out there!!! WOO HOO!!!

and finally.. I haven't seen my Pez girl in almost a month! I miss her a lot.

ok.. have a great day!
Much Love to you all!
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.4.07

Tally Ho everyone..

What's shakin? Ok.. I'll admit it.. I am emotionally and physically exhausted.... So much going on.. I feel like laying in bed and crying... I am actually really looking forward to getting the HECK out of my everyday life.. NOT answer my cell phone or email (Well I'm going to try...) and just relax... I feel like when I get back.. things are going to 1. get REALLY REALLY busy at work.. and 2. Get really good with my Kitty girl back.. unpacking more.. and figuring out what i'm going to do with all the rest of my stuff.. PLUS... I can start building my bumper (my savings acct) again... (I used a bit of money to get things for the apartment.. meh.. i'm just really grateful I had it to use! It has seemed like everyday.. i'm rushing and rushing around to get A,B and C done.. that I don't have any time to just chill.. WHICH.. is not like me.. (on top of the fact that I find myself staying up till midnight just staring at the TV.. which is also not like me..) which is partly why i'm physically tired..

Work is busy.. VERY. Why is it that when you decide to go on your first week long vacation since you graduated from college.. that work speeds up and you feel like you should not be going... ? I don't really understand that... (uh.. yes i do.. it's happening because I think it's going to happen... work gets busy... so it does!)

ANYWAY.. shifting focus... onto 3 things 2 things

3 things that make me happy:
1. Knowing I will be FAR FAR away from here.... I'm feeling like I need a little TLC... feeling a bit scattered.. I know... gotta think good thoughts..
2. It's been ABSOLUTELY beautiful this week... sunny skies... and beautiful weather!
3. Trying a Nordstroms Chocolate Chip Cookie.. and finding out it DOES taste really good!

2 things I'm looking forward to today:
1. Getting EVERYTHING done at work.. so I can walk AWAY and feel like I did my best to get everything done.
2. GRRR.. Returning those damn movies I rented this weekend and getting that OFF my plate!

2 long term things that I am looking forward to:
1. Seeing my savings account increase exponentially.... in the months ahead with my reduced rent.
2. Getting back to going to the gym after work...
3. SEEING MY LITTLE PEZ GIRL!!! I MISS HER SO MUCH!!! 3 weeks without her has been VERY VERY WEIRD!!!

1 person I am going to appreciate:
Ok.. not a person persay.. but The universe. Thank you God/The Universe for allowing me to realize that I CREATE EVERYTHING I'M GETTING!!! That i have to take responsibility for what i'm creating!!! I feel so blessed to know this!!!

K.... so.. no communications from me until MAYBE next monday.. May14th... Have a good weekend.. a good week.. a good weekend.. and i'll talk to you later!

Much love to you all... Thanks for sticking with me thru the years!
:) Kerilyn

High/Low 5.2.07

Whew! What an already exciting (and a little tiring) week!

Hi.. how's it goin? I'm coming down to the wire to get everything done before I leave for Iowa with Kevin.. and I still feel like I cannot rest.. going here... NOT being at home... resting.... I'll tell ya that AFTER this trip to Iowa.. Kerilyn is going to be a home body for QUITE A while...

Yesterday while on my way to a meeting.. my car suddenly had a sound like a plastic bag is underneath... it took a second to realize it was actually me... well i pulled over and this whole part underneath my car is dragging on the ground.. and a part is under my tire! I was strangely calm.. and got the thing from underneath my tire.. called Bob the Sales guy that i was going to the meeting with .. told him I won't be making the meeting.. and he came and rescued me.. he said "you dont' leave your wingman." which i thought was REALLY nice... I totally felt taken care of when he took the part that was dragging off my car and make it driveable.. needless to say I am very grateful for him.... So this morning already I took the car to VW (uh.. can you say.. this better be under Warranty - fingers crossed) and... I thankfully got someone at VW to take me home... So I'm carless.. and Patti another saleswoman is coming to pick me up to go to ANOTHER Meeting... (uh.. work has been BUSY! which adds to my level of anxiety about leaving..) DEEP breaths.....

but anyway... i gotta do this for sanitys sake..

3 things that make me happy:
1. Gotta say again.. Being here in my old/new apartment... I spent a few hours last nite spackling and cleaning the house... I got 90% of what I had to do done.. and everything is out now.. so I feel like I have closed that chapter on my residences... and am ready to FULLY commit to creating a more beautiful space (than it already has become) here...
2. That awesome feeling after exercising.. I ran yesterday at the gym.. and it feels SO DAMN GOOD!!!
3. Knowing that I have at least FOUR shows to watch on Tivo tonite!!! WOO HOO!! Tonite i stay home.. and do laundry....

Anyway... that's all for now.. I'll give you an update on my car tomorrow..
much love,
kerilyn

High/Low 5.1.07

Happy May to you all...

Now isn't this a good picture? I must say that I'm pretty good at the Self Shots... What I didn't mention yesterday.. was after Kevin had to make the decision about his Kitty girl... His friend Dawn called to tell Kevin that she had 2 extra tickets to the Washington Wizards Basketball game... It was JUST what we (and more importantly Kevin) needed.. to get out.. see his friend Dawn.. (oh.. and they were good seats too) and enjoy the game... I took this picture there... I think it's now my favorite picture of us... (and my eyebrow is convieniently hidden.. and now you can see my darker haircolor too)

Ok... I have staff meeting today so I can't ramble on and on.. so how bout just

3 things that make me happy:
1. This picture.. (Seriously I like this picture a lot!)
2. The Weather... It's GORGEOUS out! 80 today! Woo Hoo!
3. Today I am going to get EVERYTHING done at the HOUSE (spackling and cleaning and grabbing last minute things) so I can fully end that chapter.. (It's been lingering since I didn't get over there this weekend.)
4. My new business cards and return address envelopes (with new address) are on their way!

Ok.. that's it for today... I hope you have a good one!

:) much love to you all,
Kerilyn