High/Low 11.29.04

Hey folks..

So.. how was your turkey day weekend? Was it everything you expected? Did you tell someone all that your thankful for? If not.. hey.. there's today.. hey what about tomorrow? We can always stop to tell someone, preferably someone we love and trust, exactly what we're grateful for.

I myself have been having my own roller coaster ride of emotions lately.. and I didn't want you all to feel the ride with me.. wanted to wait for me to feel more on even keel. Lotsa changes, opportunities to "find my voice" and learn lately.. Sometimes change takes time to adjust to.. and I have been trying to adjust to all the big and little changes in my life.

It's been brought to my attention how much my high/lows have changed the past year.. I would honestly say these little daily emails have changed significantly over the years (wow.. it's been years.. amazing) I don't view life the same way I did when I began this, what? how many years ago Lisa? My documentation begins in April, 2002. My intention with this.. is 1. my own form of therapy.. for writing it out helps clear the way for new and brighter things.. 2. trying myself, to really focus on the little things that make up our highs.. and to not focus so much on the big things that I don't have happen *TRUST ME.. I need to work on this more*** and 3. my attempt to show you all that I might not see the sun, might not want to do anything but sit there and cry in my little puddle.. but there are STILL amazingly little highs going on.. for you too...I cannot express how, even if I don't write it every day (cause I think it would bore you if I did).. my morning cup of coffee is SUCH a high for me. (maybe cause it's a drug itself .lol!!!)

The truth is.. this is MY truth. it's not yours. it's my experiences.. my highs and lows. I know that each and every one of you has your own little highs (maybe it's waking to the sound of your child crying every morning, or rolling over to see your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend next to you.. maybe, just maybe.. what gets you out of bed every morning is KNOWING you are doing, in your career, what makes your soul sing.. and THAT is worth every dissapointment you might face elsewhere.

We are all on our own journeys.. with our own neurosis and struggles.. our own neck to neck punching battles with our own egos. I know each of you struggle. It's funny... I laugh at my own naiveness.. thinking when I was younger that it HAD to get easier as I got older.. but it actually gets a bit more complicated.. more pathways, options, roads to try for..perhaps to succeed.. perhaps not.

But I have to say.. that I believe in you.. each of you.. whatever your struggling with. Whether you admit it to the world, like I do (I do that don't I? lol) or if you choose a few close friends to share your woes with..or noone perhaps... I KNOW you will make it to where you need to go. Even if you come into the finish line with blisters, and sunburn... you WILL do it. I have faith in myself enough to know.. that I might have NO idea what the HECK is going on in my life.. NO idea why it seems like I can't get a firm grip on the big dog called Life taking ME for a walk.. instead of the other way around. That's how I feel... but I know I believe in myself ENOUGH.. not too much.. not too little (well, sometimes) I know myself enough.. to keep waking up to that coffee tomorrow.. and meeting Davina at the gym in the evening.

I just wanted to share my thoughts with you.. from my heart.. to you.

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return. " - Mary Jean Iron (I LOVE THIS!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!! sez kerilyn)

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung

A Thanksgiving Thought, NOT mine.

Hey..

I hope you had a great Turkey Day! If you hadn't read it yet, check out my earlier posting for today, but I wanted to share something with you all.. I got this email today and I thought it meant a lot.. take a moment and breathe this in.. for it truly is.. the reason why we are here.
Happy Thanksgiving.

"Today, give thanks.

Step outside for a moment, take a deep breath and give thanks for being you, exactly as you are, alive for one more day and able to draw this breath.

Today, give thanks for the love you give yourself, for it is from this love of self and from this gratitude for being alive that all other love flows. Set aside all criticism of yourself and let love fill you. Fill yourself fuller and fuller with love of self and love of life.

Fuller and fuller until you sense the unending love of the universe which is there for you, all of the love in the universe, pouring into you and filling you up, fuller and fuller.

And now, let that love overflow. Let it first cleanse you of the past, so that today is seen as the treasure it is, shiny new and sparkling, all possibilities exposed like diamonds in the sun. And the future will extend from this. Not from yesterday, but from this pure and sparkling wonder which is you, full of love on this perfect day.

And now, let the love begin to flow out and reach everyone in your life. Let all old annoyances and hurts be washed clean in this flow of love. Let all anger disappear as your forgiving love flows out and touches everyone you know.

And now, let it continue, until it fills the world, touches everyone on the earth. Let it flow and flow until the world is awash with sweet flowing love.

And again, give thanks. For being you, for being here, for being such an important part of all that is on this wondrous day. Know that the love which flows into you, through you, and from you heals you and entire world. Today, all day, just let it flow with gratitude, with joy, with love unending."

High/Low 11.25.04 Gobble Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Morning! How are you all? I am totally enjoying the morning.. the smell of garlic wafting thru the house.. listening to the marching bands of the Thanksgiving Parade while I mosey around, cleaning and straightening up in my PJ's. It's actually quite warm out for this time of year.. in the 60's but supposed to go down to the 40's today.

I just want to thank each one of you, for being a part of my life. For tuning in.. even if I don't talk to you or see you but once a year (or less) please trust me.. you are thought of.

I hope as you enjoy the turkey and all the fixins this year.. that you take a moment to look out your window.. to see how many miracles are there.. in your life.. how many strange "coincidences" have appeared and placed you right where you are. I hope you do something fun this holiday..

Gobble Gobble!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"When your world is breaking apart, the ground like an earthquake beneath your feet, and you feel as if you are going to fall off the face of your world and slip between the cracks, resist the temptation to hold on tight. The grace of God, and everything for which you may, one day, be thankful for will be found hidden there between the cracks." –Claire Prideaux

"Let us rise up and be thankful; for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." - Buddha

High/Low 11.23.04

hey...

How are ya'll? Ready for turkey day? Yea.. me neither.. I can't believe the start of the holiday season is here already.. man.. this year flew by..

I had another crappy, cruddy day.. the ONLY good thing that came out of today (side note: I realize everyone.. that I am not the only person in the world to have a cruddy day.. I am merely sharing with you my cruddy day.. by all means, please fill me in on your good &/OR bad day.. I would love to hear. ) oh yea.. the only thing.. that was good.. was I actually got to sit down to eat dinner while watching my favorite show, Scrubs tonite. Other than that.. ALL downhill. I am at my wits end with these crappy things.. yea yea yea.. I know.. it's all to make me stronger.. yea yea.. I know that.. but it still hurts like HELL when you can't figure out why EVERYTHING is seemingly falling apart.

Another Side note: I know I am blessed.. I have so much.. again, my morning coffee.. my cat.. my friend Davina, who, after sitting in traffic a while, let me come over and TRY to wait out the traffic.. (Thanks D!)

Ugh.. I don't even know where to start.. I'll even go so far as to say that spiritually, I know that I am creating this havoc.. that it's noone's fault but my own.. wow.. when the s$#t keeps hitting the fan though.. I'll tell ya.. it really doesn't feel like i'm creating this.. (although I know I am deep down) Took 2 hours to get home, in traffic.. and AFTER I waited an hour at Davina's. I dislike intensely my boss, I am feeling lost with respect to how I feel about someone who I can't "figure out".. one minute I'm strong.. the next.. I'm weak. Did I mention that I don't like my job or my boss....

oh yea.. another good thing.. I bought stuff for mashed potatoes, string beans, and mushrooms.. for turkey day.. still gotta get the recipe for my mom's carrot casserole so I can go get the stuff.. I am SOOOOOO looking forward to having a few days off.. now only if I could find time to spend by myself (1) and motivate myself to start doing stuff around the house...

Anyway.. Tomorrow is Wednesday.. if I can hold out just 8 hours tomorrow.. it will be over (for a while anyway) I pray it goes better.. that I don't spend the entire day in my car..or with yet ANOTHER boss who seemingly has mental problems. (Final Side note: WHERE do they teach bosses' to treat their employees like dirt?? Can you tell me because I'd like to Shut it down!!!!! Oh yea.. and if YOU are a boss... I hope that you are treating your employees with value.. for if they weren't there.. well let's not talk about it. A relationship with a boss could be just as hard as a romantic relationship (especially if your boss again is Jeckle and Hyde, like mine! I seem to pick em!)

Ancora Imparo.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Life, even in the hardest times, is full of moments to savor. They will not come this way again, not in this way. " Rinehart (yea yea yea... sez kerilyn)

"When you first get up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?""What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?""I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.Pooh nodded thoughtfully."It's the same thing," he said." - A.A. Milne

High/Low 11.23.04

hey...

How are ya'll? Ready for turkey day? Yea.. me neither.. I can't believe the start of the holiday season is here already.. man.. this year flew by..

I had another crappy, cruddy day.. the ONLY good thing that came out of today (side note: I realize everyone.. that I am not the only person in the world to have a cruddy day.. I am merely sharing with you my cruddy day.. by all means, please fill me in on your good &/OR bad day.. I would love to hear. ) oh yea.. the only thing.. that was good.. was I actually got to sit down to eat dinner while watching my favorite show, Scrubs tonite. Other than that.. ALL downhill. I am at my wits end with these crappy things.. yea yea yea.. I know.. it's all to make me stronger.. yea yea.. I know that.. but it still hurts like HELL when you can't figure out why EVERYTHING is seemingly falling apart.

Another Side note: I know I am blessed.. I have so much.. again, my morning coffee.. my cat.. my friend Davina, who, after sitting in traffic a while, let me come over and TRY to wait out the traffic.. (Thanks D!)

Ugh.. I don't even know where to start.. I'll even go so far as to say that spiritually, I know that I am creating this havoc.. that it's noone's fault but my own.. wow.. when the s$#t keeps hitting the fan though.. I'll tell ya.. it really doesn't feel like i'm creating this.. (although I know I am deep down) Took 2 hours to get home, in traffic.. and AFTER I waited an hour at Davina's. I dislike intensely my boss, I am feeling lost with respect to how I feel about someone who I can't "figure out".. one minute I'm strong.. the next.. I'm weak. Did I mention that I don't like my job or my boss....

oh yea.. another good thing.. I bought stuff for mashed potatoes, string beans, and mushrooms.. for turkey day.. still gotta get the recipe for my mom's carrot casserole so I can go get the stuff.. I am SOOOOOO looking forward to having a few days off.. now only if I could find time to spend by myself (1) and motivate myself to start doing stuff around the house...

Anyway.. Tomorrow is Wednesday.. if I can hold out just 8 hours tomorrow.. it will be over (for a while anyway) I pray it goes better.. that I don't spend the entire day in my car..or with yet ANOTHER boss who seemingly has mental problems. (Final Side note: WHERE do they teach bosses' to treat their employees like dirt?? Can you tell me because I'd like to Shut it down!!!!! Oh yea.. and if YOU are a boss... I hope that you are treating your employees with value.. for if they weren't there.. well let's not talk about it. A relationship with a boss could be just as hard as a romantic relationship (especially if your boss again is Jeckle and Hyde, like mine! I seem to pick em!)

Ancora Imparo.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Life, even in the hardest times, is full of moments to savor. They will not come this way again, not in this way. " Rinehart (yea yea yea... sez kerilyn)

"When you first get up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?""What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?""I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.Pooh nodded thoughtfully."It's the same thing," he said." - A.A. Milne

High/Low 11.22.04

Hey there folks..

How are ya? So.. Monday's down.. 2 more to go.. then most of us are off for four whole days!!! I can't tell you how excited I am.. 4 days.. boy, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself! Anyway.. just WAIT until I tell you what happened to me today.. it's actually funny now but I'll tell ya.. it wasn't funny when I was going thru it.

High: I went to have a reading tonite.. got out of work, and got downtown with 30 minutes to spare. So I went into Filene's Basement (a discount designer store that I LOVE!) and bought a pair of needed slippers (for 7.99) and this AWESOME bag.. for 12 bucks! (Truth be known I had to fight for the bag.. it didn't have a price.. the one woman didn't know how to figure out the price... so I had to go to customer service.. thankfully I was patient because I saved almost 25 bucks! The reading was, as always, very interesting.. some good guidance.. I feel a little better as to the status of where I am right now.. and where I may be in the next year. Some good hints as to the direction I should move toward..

Low: Don't like my job.. (but we already know that and by the way.. I know most of you might hate your jobs too.. Please don't think for one second that I think I am the only one that hates my job) Ok.. so after my reading.. I got my car.. and drove to the gym.. Davina was already there.. I brought my clothes.. so I wouldn't have to go home.. ok.. Parking took 30 minutes.. no.. did you get that? I waited THIRTY MINUTES for a freaking parking spot!!!!!! I am a patient person.. I would say of myself.. but 30 minutes???? COME ON!!! I was so irate that I was screaming in the car.. I worked out SO hard.. I haven't sweat that much in, well I don't know. I didn't get to do weights with Davina because she was already done by the time I got there... OOOH! Ok.. so the parking was just the beginning.. I had to wait in the parking lot afterward so a tractor trailor could back in.. UGH! and then.. I decided to forget it.. it's too late.. I'm getting chicken from Popeye's.. ( I know it's not on my diet but I was already starving and NOT in the mood to cook.) The person in front of me.. in the drive thru.. WHEW... he could not communicate his order.. it took forever!!! I'm at my wits end about this time.. then.. on the way home.. I spilled my coke on my seat!!! WHEN DOES IT END? LIke I said.. I can laugh about it now.. but at the time.. man lookout.. Crazy Keri on the move.

Whew.. So I sit here.. with my new slippers on.. in my flannel pj's.. feeling satiated by food, comforted by my reading, and so grateful for all that I have in my life.. The little things, my morning coffee, my cat, the fact that I can see, smell, taste, feel, and hear today. That I know what a butterfly looks like, that I know what it's like to laugh so hard my tummy hurts, that I can wear skirts and pretty shoes, that I am not alone, grateful that people know me well enough to know when I'm not myself (thought about it.. it's a blessing) thankful that Naomi bought this beautiful place that I can live in.. and grow into. Thankful that I will see my friend Bridget this year for Thanksgiving.. ah.. so much.. I am so blessed.. "I am too blessed to be stressed or depressed, and too anointed to be dissapointed."- Unknown A good one.. I think..

Anyway all... Tuesday's upon us.. let's try... to stop and take stock of all that you have.. so when you go to the thanksgiving table.. you'll have prepared yourself a little for what the day is supposed to be about..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough,and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie

"Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it." -Anne de Lenclos

High/Low 11.19.04

Hi everyone..

How are you? Glad it's Friday nite? I surely am. SO glad to have some time by myself this weekend. It's actually a nice temperature outside today.. I didn't need a coat which is nice. But it looks like Saturday might be rainy and yucky..I guess that puts a damper on my raking. (Secret: I like to do stuff outside so I've been kinda looking forward to it)

High: I had a GREAT hair day today and actually I got a LOT of compliments on my all around appearance today. My boss wasn't in the office all day until 3ish.. SO nice to not have him around, especially on a Friday.

Low: Major changes taking place for me.. my friendships. One of my closest friends decided that she couldn't be my friend anymore, makes me very sad to have to end something that has been such an important part of my life. I have come face to face with one of my biggest fears in my life, to have people I love.. leave. Many hurtful things were said, from both of us and I think it will be good for us to go our separate ways, so we can experience different things. I am sure I will go thru the gammit of different emotions, like the 5 stages of grief, but I'm sure that both of us will come out better for having gone thru this. My hope is that I learn to know and love myself more from having this experience. That is my prayer anyway.

Ya know, the prevalent moral of this weeks situation to me is a quote I have in front of me right now, that I got from a fortune cookie a long time ago... "The only certainty is that nothing is certain" Ain't that the truth? But I think that's what life is all about..learning to take lifes ups and downs with Grace, to do the best job that we can, and continue to look at ourselves.. our "stuff", the things that we need to work on.. and not push it away.. to try to deal with the consequences of our actions or inactions the best ways we can.. I will continue to try looking at my stuff.. and keep trying to do the best job I can.. even if that's not good enough to anyone else...

Have a great weekend everybody.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character."-Emerson

"Be mindful that happiness is not based on possessions, power, or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect" - Author unknown

"If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness and fears." -Glenn Clark

High/Low 11.16.04

hey folksies..

what's goin on? anything exciting? late breaking? Come on... talk to me! Tell me what's going on with you. Now for the few of you I talk to all the time.. I already know how you are.. but some of you I don't talk to often to never.. shoot me a line. Today ended up to be a beautiful day.. weather wise.. in the 60's.. blue sky.. really quite lovely out. A perfect day to go site seeing.. or walk around with someone you love.. holding hands (can you tell this what I was wishing I was doing today?) Anyway.. lovely day.. I hope it stays like this.

High: I got a phone call from my previous landlord.. he wanted to know my forwarding address so he can send me my security deposit back! Woo Hoo.. some extra money coming to me soon.. I love that feeling! Had another good workout tonite.. made a yummy meal (I love button mushrooms, sauteed in butter.. oh my.. my new fave food)

Low: I had to, yet AGAIN, drive out to this job site.. an hour or so (one way).. there was a problem on site that I couldn't answer.. so I had to wait for my boss.. I waited.. and waited.. it was so boring.. it gave me time to think "WHY am I at this job?" I think next week I'm going to start sending resumes again.. not sure where.. but somewhere. Keep runnin I guess (insert pessimistic comment)

I am off to bed.. so g'nite folks.. Sleep tight.. and sweet dreams.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Life is good. Regardless of the vagaries of living, life is worth living if only to have the opportunity to smell the sweet lemon-vanilla scent of magnolia blossoms, to see one paper-thin periwinkle butterfly flutter about, to feel one cool breeze dance across your skin on a warm summer day, to hear one chickadee call out for a mate, or to taste the juicy sweet nectar of one ripe peach.
Joy--the possibility of joy--is abundant even in times of sorrow if only we use our senses. Love life back." -- Claire Prideaux (I say BIG WOW for this quote.. go claire!)

High/Low 11.15.04

Hey there folksies..

How are ya? It's Monday nite.. and I wish it was Friday already. I'm just not in the mood for work this week (wait.. when AM I in the mood for this job? uh.. never) It was a nice day.. relatively for this time of year, in the 60's.

High: Had a REALLY great workout tonite with Davina, my gym partner. We worked our arms, I found out that I lost another 4 lbs. which makes a total of 29 (but I will use my rounding skills and round it to 30) 30 lbs.. pretty good i'd say.. I have just another 46 to go (give or take a few) That made my day!

Low: Did a tremendous amount of driving today.. Didn't want to be at my job today. Grrr. Bad hair day today too.

Today was a relatively uneventful day.. I think I'm still coming down off of having a good weekend with my friends.. I wish that I could just hang out with them for the rest of my life.. and magically have some sorta income implanted into my account.. play all day.. Sounds nice!

K kids.. I'm off to bed.. I'll chat with you tomorrow.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come."Annie Lamott

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes youcome alive and go do that ... because what the world really needs ispeople who have come alive." ---- Howard Thurman

High/Low 11.12.04 TGIF!!!

Morning my little fireflies!

How are you? It's FRIDAY!!! I'm so excited for that fact! FRIDAY!!! Ah.. this week went quite quickly.. and.. all things concerned, without a hitch.. So I'm grateful. I wrote this long posting yesterday.. was getting my quotes together.. and BAM.. my silly computer crashed.. and I lost the posting. Grr.. eh.. I figured if it crashed then I wasn't meant to talk to you.. so I went to bed instead. Now.. the weather.. It is pouring, dark, chilly, damp, the kinda weather that makes mold grow quicker.. (eww) where a brief walk outside can cause one to become a wet mop.. it's supposed to be like this all day (gross) until tomorrow sometime (even more gross) Eh.. if you can't beat em.. join em.. I think I need to purchase some funky rainboots..

High: I had a great nite Wednesday nite, catching up with someone I hadn't seen in a while... Yesterday, I had to go to a job site close to my parents/sister... and I got done around 3:30.. so I went to surprise my sister at her job! I like to do that when I can.. my dad showed up too.. it was a family affair! Krissy and I went to Outback for dinner *yum* and I was home in bed by 9:30. I am wearing my new outfit that I bought last weekend! I feel great! I am counting down the hours before I go pick up my girl, Michelle at the train station tonite around 7ish.. I CAN'T WAIT to see her!!! 2 whole days of Michelle ALL to myself! I talked to my other best friend, Matthew yesterday. I miss him a lot..I hope to see him soon... He's in Germany for the army.

Low: This week was surprisingly without any lows worth noting. Had a great week overall!

I am not sure exactly what Michelle and I are going to do.. but I know whatever it is.. we will treasure the time we have... My ultra-sexy/smart friend "De-La Ghetto" Joe Sheridan is going to meet us for dinner Saturday nite somewhere.. should be a great nite of laughing..imbibing some drinks.. and spending time with each other. I hope whatever you do this weekend.. you enjoy yourselves!

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous." - Jane Heard

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind." - Amiel, Henri Frederick

High/Low 11.09.04

Hey there folks..

How are you? It's tuesday.. I'm ready to get comfy under my covers right about now.. man! I'm tired! Today was another chilly day.. windy.. thankfully it was sunny.. and the sky was beautifully blue today. Grateful for that! I think the cooling trend will stay with us now to begin our steady drop into winter. eww. I'm not liking that fact too much.

High: Hmm.. I kinda had a neutral day.. nothing really exciting.. I guess the fact that my boss and I didn't see each other today.. was a good thing. Sometimes I just yearn to rid myself of his presence sometimes.. I feel REALLY good.. someone from my school, SCAD.. called me, wanting a donation.. and I ended up talking to an Interior Design student.. I talked to her for almost 30 minutes on what to look out for in the"real" world.. (as per my OWN experiences) I know it helped her a lot! I told her to give her friends my email.. I'd be MORE than happy to help others prepare themselves..

Low: My head still has this silly migraine.. waves of nausea still.. fever .. weird! I have never had a migraine last this long or act this weird. I cannot even guess what it is that's causing this.. Dust? Not sleeping enough? Too much on my mind? Probably a bit of all of that. It's a strange feeling though.. when it hits.. I really feel like someone put electrodes to my brain.. and I'm temporarily "out of order" for a while.. till it passes.. That and my eyes are more sensitive to the sun today. Poo. ALSO.... my computer wouldn't go on all day today.. I ONLY got it started now..by LUCK!! I have NO idea what i did to start it.. I have NO idea how to fix it either.. UGH.. this hopeful temporary setback will not alter my email junky-ness too much... God I pray.

Anyway.. I'm getting my cold, tired self to bed early tonite.. I didn't go to the gym tonite.. tired.. and needing some R&R from my dedicated self.. Proud of me cause I can see my clothes getting bigger every day.. but it's no help when I don't feel well. Rest.. (and time with Pez) is most important...

Have a great nite folks!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin.
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age." -Jeanne Moreau

"To fall in love is easy,even to remain in it is not difficult;our human loneliness is cause enough.But it is a hard quest worth makingto find a comrade through whosesteady presence one becomes steadilythe person one desires to be."-Anna Louise Strong

hey everyone.. here's a strange twist to my high/lows.. I learned a new word today.. want to learn it too?

indignation- (noun)/The feeling excited by that which is unworthy, base, or disgraceful; anger mingled with contempt, disgust, or abhorrence. The effect of anger; punishment. Synonyms:
anger, rage, fury

"Indignation is a submission of our thoughts, but not of our desires." - Bertrand Russell

High/Low 11.08.04

Hiety ho my lovelies,

How ya doin? I'm doing well today.. had an ok day today (it's funny.. I always hesitate typing that because I don't want to "jinx" the next day) It's so nice to have my computer set up NOT in my bedroom.. I am so loving that. Today was a chilly day.. windy.. I did not dress for todays wind.. but the sky was very blue.. and wow.. the sunset tonite.. beautiful pinks and purples.. makes me think of Bob Ross's paintings.. happy little clouds.

High: I am feeling thinner and thinner every day.. SUCH a great feeling!!!! Today at a job site (US Mint) one of the architects there is deaf.. so I got to use my limited sign language ability.. to talk to him.. he seemed impressed that I knew how to sign.. It was truly.. the highlight of my day.. I get such a rush signing.. I really do think I should find some activity where I can practice more.. Had a good day at work (again.. don't get the impression, for one second, that although I had a good day.. that I want to be at this job ONE second longer than I have to) came home.. went to the gym.. met my girlfriend Davina there.. MAN! We are doing really well..I do 30 minutes on the elliptical thingy.. and now.. we are using weights.. I love having a gym partner. My best friend Matthew called me tonite from Germany.. I have been thinking about him a lot.. I miss him. I made a yummy meal tonite! mmmm.. I am also psyched this Sunday I am going to be going to an art show to see this AWESOME artist/woman's work with Michelle.. www.bonesigharts.com I do.. recommend that you all check out her stuff.. it's amazing!!!

Low: Um.... nothing worth noting, I have chapped lips.. which is never fun.. AH.. I have had a migraine since Friday.. As of this moment.. It feels like it's gone now.. I hope so.. today wasn't much fun.. waves of nausea.. ugh. Thankfully I am blessed not to get migraines very often.

Anyway.. I'm goin to bed... I'll check with ya'll soon!!!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Love you all,
Kerilyn

"If Columbus had turned back, no one would have blamed him. Of course, no one would have remembered him either. --Unknown

"I need to take an emotional breath, step back and remind myself who's actually in charge of my life." -Judith Knowlton

High/Low 11.7.04

Hey everyone..

How's your weekend. It's rapidly coming to a close, a fact that makes me more sad by the moment. It has been an absolutely georgeous weekend. High 60's and beautiful! No need for a jacket even.. a slight teaser on the part of Mother Nature.. cause I'm sure that in just days.. the chill will settle in.. and we will have to break out our flannel sheets and our mittens soon. :(

High: Well I got a lot done this weekend, unpacking. There's a lot to unpack, boxes upon boxes that I am determined to get put away before next weekend comes.. when one of my best friends, Michelle, comes down from the big apple..Also, my friend Joe, who's been away the past 4 months is back in town so I think he's going to join Michelle and I for dinner Saturday nite! I am so excited to see her! Friday nite, I went to have Watsu.. it's a water type of massage. I was in the pool with the therapist for about 2.5 hours. It was so nice. Saturday I went to get my hair trimmed, went and bought a new outfit (on sale AND 2 sizes smaller .. WOO HOO!) I am very happy right now to be writing from the comfort of my new pad.. love it!

Low: Kinda bored this weekend.. I know that I needed to unpack.. but I really did nothing exciting this weekend... one of those weekends where I was a bit lonely.. oh well.. I'll get over it.. I am SOOOO not wanting to go to work tomorrow!!! Ugh.

Anyway.. I'm happy to report my computer's up and running.. (gotta get a techie in here.. I think my computer needs a check up) So.. you all have a great weekend! I will catch you all soon.. now that I can write whenever I want again!

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Love you all,
Kerilyn

High/Low 11.02.04

Signore e signori di buon giorno (Good day ladies and gentlemen!)

How are you today? I'm wonderful.. I really don't know whats going on.. I'm thinking there has been a shift in my energy since I've moved... I can't really explain how It feels like everything that bothered me the past few months.. is now somehow.. turned into immense understanding.. and patience. Today is, by far, one of the most beautiful days of the year. It is unusually warm, the trees waving in the breeze as I drive around.. I Love it! What would be better is an afternoon nap, with all the windows open at home. I hope you all have gone out and voted or are in the process... we'll see what happens tonite!

High: Went to Target last nite.. took my time.. moseyed around.. got my favorite coffee for this morning.. great nite! Another great day, waking up in my new space. I am so.. in awe of how comfortable I feel there already.. and I'm still at 90% unpacked phase still. LOVE it! Went to vote before going to work.. took 45 minutes.. not too bad. Felt good to support my country.. Went to job site with boss.. so nice outside. For lunch.. I got some food.. and sat by the water.. it is so nice out.. one of the few days I'll be able to soak in the sun.. without a coat on. I saw my friend Shannon at work today.. (Shan you look great btw!) She told me she can tell I'm losing weight.. what a GREAT compliment!!!

Low: Didn't go to the gym last nite.. really tired.. gonna go tonite though. Other than that.. I think all's been really good!

Side note: This morning I saw a new Eminem video.. called "Mosh".. I completely loved it. It's raw.. just like him to be like that.. but I have to give it to him.. he really does know how to shake things up. I give him COMPLETE PROPS for calling up the subject matter of today's election.. and the status of the world. I have always respected him for using his freedom of speech, no matter what his opinion has been.. and I definately say Kudos for being, to some, a thorn in the side of those who might be a catalyst to change. BIG UP EMINEM!

K ya'll.. I'll talk to you soon. I hope you all have a great rest of your day!
Ancora Imparo.
Love you all.
Kerilyn

"Once we make our decision, all things will come to us. Auspicious signs are not a superstition, but a confirmation. They are a response." -Deng Ming-Dao

High/Low 11.01.04 A new beginning.

Good Morning my beautiful teacups!

How are you all? I hope good.. the first day of the month.. ah.. today I began a fresh start.. at my new abode. It is georgeous out today. The beautiful trees, dropping their leaves like a gentle snowfall.. quiet.. I love it! It is wonderful outside today here.. high 60's.. lovely.

So the move, was like all moves.. fast.. tiring..sweaty.. realizing how much stuff I really have. Whew.. a lot! I have been on the go.. the past 2 weeks.. packing.. moving.. setting up new space and saying goodbye to my apartment of 4 years.. I cannot begin to express how much I KNOW I am going to enjoy the new space.. Maybe shifting of this energy will bring about even more changes on the horizon.. who knows.. ya know?

I still don't have my computer set up at home yet.. give me a few days.. then I'll go back to writing more often.. maybe every day again..

High: LOVED waking up this morning.. the sun was bright.. the trees out my window so beautiful.. sat and drank my coffee.. meditated.. LOVE it! I am still losing weight and this skirt that I haven't been able to fit into fits! woo hoo! I was actually a bit enthusiastic to go to work today for some reason.. I feel good today.. like a big weight has been lifted... no more shuffling back and forth every day.. I'm actually going to start back at the gym tonite.. My boss and I saw a Fox on the way back from an appt. I had never seen a real Fox before. I also got a surprise email today.. from someone I had a few dates with.. weird.. Ya know what? I can do my laundry ANY TIME I WANT to now! (Sorry Nicole and Maureen) I am SOOO excited about that.. I'm sitting here.. thinking..' I think I'll do a load of laundry tonite!" eh.. it's the little things..ya know? My co-worker, Barbara, gave me a house warming gift.. these beautiful plates I can hang on the wall.. I think I just might!

Low: As of right now.. the tiredness is hitting me a little.. from all the excitement of this weekend... my eyes are a little heavy.. This weekend was the normal frustrations of moving.. nothing out of the ordinary.. My poor kitty cat, Pez.. she was so confused when I moved her to the house.. meowing for an hour.. like "Mom.. where are we?" aww.. it made me sad a little. (she's good now.. meandering all over like she's lived there for weeks)

I would like to thank EACH and EVERY person that has helped out the past few weeks, to help support me.. I am blessed beyond belief.. Naomi, my fellow kindred spirit.. thank you for EVERY moment... I am so glad that it's you that I'm going thru these changes with! My sister, my eternal sunshine.. thank you.. you have been the best sister! My parents.. thank you. Your love and kindness..I am a lucky woman! Cathy, Janet, Davina, Troy.. I hope I didn't forget anyone.. for every person that helped get me thru this... physically, mentally, and spiritually.. I am the richest woman for having each of you in my life and I am grateful!

Anyway.. I will catch you all soon. Please fill me in on how your doing..
Ancora Imparo.
Love you all,
Kerilyn


"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as a part of life--specifically the fear of change, the fear of the unknown; and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says: turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far." -Erica Jong (I think I've used this before.. I would like to say that I have ceased letting fear control me.. workin on it)