High/Low 9.30.05 The Day before the big day...

Hey there!!!!!!

FRIDAY!!! The day before Art on the Avenue!!!! Wow.. ok... so tonite.. while I wait for Kyra and her boyfriend Dave... and maybe Matthew to come (not sure if he's coming) I will continue to work on cards... Right now.. I have 6 different cards (I really want to take pictures to show you.. but I need to buy batteries for my camera.. poo!) I promise I'll have a camera to document my journey for tomorrow!!!! Kyra isn't going to get in till late.. so I'll have some time to begin another card.. and get as many done as I can...

After work yesterday.. I went to a Hallmark store.. told them about my need for a card display.. if they had something i could borrow for the day.. Wow.. it's true.. 'ask and you shall receive' because Hallmark gave me a floor display.. i am not going to use it.. the size of the card holders are too big.. and there are WAY too many card slots... but I took it anyway.. not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.. Then I went to Papyrus, paper/card store... they gave me these little easels.. I am SO grateful they let me borrow them... I think they will be perfect!!! Now I have a way to display my cards!! YEA!!!

I am really enjoying my car! I'm still a little misty about my Camry (just give me a few days to process all this) but I'm really enjoying the fact that I've done this!!! YEA!

I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend... Please say a prayer/affirmation/positive thought toward Myself, Kyra and Cathy.. and our booth at Art on the Avenue... that we are a success!!! The weather is supposed to be nice... high of 78 and sunny! Sounds like great weather for an art festival!!!

So many friends said they would try to make it... some from far away.. Matthew from WV... Kriss from Baltimore.. Kristen from Pennsylvania... my parentals... beautiful sister, Naomi - my kindred spirit, my old roomie Kristine.. my girl Davina.. my friend Scott.. some people from my current job.. wow.. I'm blown away by everyone's support!!! I am blessed.. SO blessed!!!

PS: For those of you who are local and want to come out!! (Thanks Lorraine for your comment!) Our booth is Number W196. The closest intersection is Mt. Vernon Avenue and Randolph Street. We are located between the Mt. Vernon Elementary School and the Del Ray Artisans Building. If you need help locating me.. email me today (during day.. i don't know if i'll be checking email after work today) and i'll try to direct you!

Thank you everyone... for your positive support and love!!!
Wish us luck!!! To wrap up.. i quote one of my favorite quotes:

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs,
ask yourself - what makes you come alive -
and then go and do that. Because what the
world needs are people who have come alive!"
- Harold Whitman

Ancora Imparo " I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.29.05

Hey everybody!!!

Thursday!!! EEK!!! It's almost been UNREAL how much has gone on in the past few days.. almost a week... it would take too much time to go into all the details.. but here is a brief overview....

1. I sold my Toyota Camry to the mechanic who works at the inspection station where I got my car inspected 2 weeks ago.. been an interesting experience. I've learned something about myself with respect to what my preconceived stereotypes are, and how misjudged I can be about someone.. also.. about trusting my own gut.. no matter WHO is telling me not to trust anyone...

Side note: I know this might sound cheesy.. but I still get a bit choked up when I think of giving my Camry away.. as I am tearing now.. I've had that car since i was 19 years old... now i'm 30.. it's been a really weird experience... giving an old friend away... and I'm still a bit sad... I know she wouldn't of lasted forever.. but she's been a constant in my life.. when everything else was changing and uncertain..schools... friends... locations... she's been there.. and she's really treated me good overall... I'm just kinda sad.. it'll pass.. but It's still kinda weird to look out into the driveway and not see her there..

2. I bought the Red Jetta that I had sent you pictures a while back about!!! Wow.. it feels surreal that I am 1. driving stick again. 2. driving a RED car and 3rd and most importantly ... I did this on my OWN!!! (well.. with a lot of help from Peter and Naomi supporting me) I won't lie.. It's a bit nervewracking.. this is my FIRST official purchase as an adult.. and yea yea.. some might say this is way overdue.. but you know what I say.. it is what it is.. and i am here now..

3. Cards!!! Well this has been an experience in expectations.. I have been pushing myself to get 300 cards done.. worked QUITE A bit this past weekend on them.. wow.. like 16 hours this weekend.. and into this week.. I have adjusted my goal... if I have 210 cards done by Tomorrow nite.. It will be ok.. heck.. i know that i need to be happy with where i am RIGHT NOW.. but i'm still working on my new goal... Am I nervous about Saturday? Yes.. Do I hope that people like my cards as much as my family and friends do? yes. Do I believe they will? YES! So.. we'll have to wait and see... Kyra and Dave, her boyfriend come into town tomorrow nite.. late.. and it will begin...

It's nutty... in a good way.. I'm telling you.. that quote:

"Nothing happens and nothing happens and then everything happens." - Fay Welton

yea.. that's SO how this week has been.. I am thankful to all my people.. here and hereafter.. assisting me... trying to soothe my fears.. ya know.. I bought this car.. thinking in my head.. "Do it afraid".. Trust me.. my face/neck/thyroid was BEET red!! Peter kept saying "Kerilyn.. calm down.. you're overheating. I guess that's what the unknown does.." Am i happy? YES! I think so much has gone on in the past week or so.. that i haven't yet begun to decompress and process all that has transpired.. but i will.. I predict Sunday afternoon.. I will try to take a nap... with the windows open.. probably have a good cry... release any lingering blocks.. and take a well deserved break...

So... I will write tomorrow.. and then.. will ask you to wish me good luck for Saturday!!!

onward and upward!!!
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
kerilyn

High/Low 9.27.05

EEK!!!

4 Days to go!!! You ever watch one of those cooking shows when all the chefs have 3 minutes left to make a creation.. and they're practically running into each other like an ice hockey game.. trying to get everything done??? yea.. that's how i feel in my mind right now..

Do I feel better than yesterday? Well I wasn't sick, per say.. but I needed to rest.. Did I? Er.. uh... not even a quarter of what i should've... i feel wound up a bit.. exhausted... out of shape (haven't gone to the gym in almost a month!) and out of the loop with respect to my beautiful faith.. that I believe to be one of the things getting me thru this period... I wish I could take the rest of the week off.. lol. You ask me.. How do you feel right now in your life...??? I would quote my new favorite quote...

"Nothing happens, and nothing happens, and then everything happens" - Fay Weldon

Yea... you name it.. it's going on... wow. But a wise woman.. my auntie.. said to me yesterday.. as i was having 'a moment'... 'This is great kerilyn.. This is a time to thank God for bringing you these opportunities.. opening these doors.. to say 'thank you'. Wow.. that was EXACTLY what i needed to hear.. it makes me a little choked up to think of how I don't stop and appreciate ALL the amazing, wonderful, and beautiful opportunities i am experiencing..and the blessings I already do have.. all in the name of fear.. Fear of what other people will think.. fear.. of failure.. and even more sadly.. fear of success. How we all sabotage ourselves sometimes...

I am grateful.. I take a deep breath in.. and send out thankfullness.. to all those here and hereafter who assist me in this lifetime..

So I am just waiting for 2 buyers of my car.. to get back to me today so I can sell them my car... and then go test drive and hopefully buy this car that seems just what i'm looking for... i can't buy a car.. without first selling my car.. so it's been a bit.. harrowing to say the least.. But I predict.. in the next 4 days.. like i said.. Kerilyn will be gripping a new steering wheel.. I cried a bit last nite.. when thinking of giving up my car... that i've had since i was 19... we've been thru a lot... spent many hours... in silence... singing.. crying... in my car.. and It will be like giving a part of my history away... i know it's an important move.. but it still brings me a little sadness...

And cards.. ok.. i have been grappling with this all day yesterday.. Yesterday was a bust with respect to cards.. i wasted yesterday thinking about how i can get at least 8 types of cards done... I am going to BUST my BUTT the next 2 days.. and will do what i have to to get them done..

Ok all... i wish you a great day.. I wish for myself a day of no calamity.. of success and opportunity.. of reflection and grace... for myself and every one of you...
onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.26.06

Hey everyone..

How ya doin? Monday.. I woke up early.. and felt like i've been pushed thru that taffy machine that you see at the shore... just worn out.. I called out of work today... I need a day to chill.. take it easy.. the rest of this week is going to be busy i predict.. and i don't want to get full blown sick...

I sat for probably 16 hours this weekend on the floor of my living room (pillows under the deriere) trying to pump out the cards.. I did 60 cards this weekend.. I wish I had done 100.. i'm only at 180 cards.. My left hand/shoulder and lower back are not happy with me at this time.. I will admit though.. that it's all starting to come together.. having bulks of 30 completed cards.. makes me really happy! I am going to work very hard this week to get everything completed. I told myself that I will stop after Wednesday.. I will accept where I'm at with how many cards I'm done.. by Wednesday nite.

On a great note.. my friend Erin came over last nite.. she's in massage school and needs to practice.. i was her test subject for the week! HOW awesome was it.. to have someone come to your house.. Erin is a natural! I felt really relaxed.. i think she's really on her way to making her dreams come true!! It was a GREAT way to wrap up the weekend.. I think the massage kinda reminded my body, after a night of sleep.. that I am pushing myself too hard..

I did do something fun Saturday, I will admit.. Saturday nite i had a date ... there was no chemistry.. but... We went to a WONDERFUL restaurant in DC called Rosa Mexicano .. wow.. they make fresh guacamole at your table!! I've decided that Mexican food is my favorite cuisine... love it!!! I was in heaven! Then we went to go see this AWESOME movie.. called Proof .. Gwyneth Paltrow was absolutely AMAZING in this movie! I was blown away with her performance... She SOOO deserves an award for her performance.. wow.. you all should go see this movie.. or wait for the DVD.. there are not special effects that you need to see this on the big screen.. but you HAVE to see it!!!very powerful!!!

I also saw a good movie on DVD this weekend, well, i listened to most of it. Kinsey , really interesting movie! I was hooked just by what I was hearing.. I think all the actors did a great job too...

oh yea.. I think I found my car... I should probably go out and test drive it.. but i'm telling you.. you're going to be seeing Kerilyn in her own car soon.. wizzing around... I AM SOO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT!!!

So... i'm home today.. going to meditate now.. and then take another nap... then.. more cards maybe.. who knows...
onward and upward.
ancora imparo ' I am still learning' in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.23.05

Howdy partners!

Friday.. let's take a moment and thank our lucky stars that it's Friday.... AHHH.. Today it's supposed to be 90 degrees... It's almost October!!! I checked the weather for Art on the Avenue
, on October 1st.. it says Sunny... with high of 77.. that sounds like a perfect temperature to be outside all day!! Do me a favor and say a prayer/affirmation/devotion that the weather stays that way!!!

So I got my clear card protectors yesterday!! I feel legit now! Wow.. it's amazing the difference I feel when I see my cards and envelopes in the little clear bag.. i want to carry them whereever i go... it's awesome!!! I am getting really excited!!! This weekend.. starting tonite, begins my 2 day marathon card making experience... I WILL get 100 cards done this weekend!! I can do it! I feel envigorated and ready to begin.. i need a good movie... or some good music.. some incense... a good cushion for my butt (sitting on the floor for hours.. ouch) the windows to be open... and the visual of next saturday... people saying "WOW.. I LOVE THESE!!!" yep.. i am going to do this!

Last nite was Naomi's debut of her Comedy Showcase at the Old Town Theater (Check it out.. it even says her name!!!) I got there early to help rouse people inside.. it was great! I put on the Kerilyn charm.. and handed out flyers! Naomi was GREAT! I think this show really has some serious potential! I think for the first show.. it went really quite smooth.. See the show is a mix of comedy, music and interviews.. like an Old Town Johnny Carson... and Ian.. the musician.. wow! He's GOOD!!! He sounds like he should be performing in 'RENT'.. Naomi is a natural at being on stage.. it's amazing to see one of your best friends be "so much herself'.. i think there were a lot of laughs... even though the first show wasn't packed.. it was GREAT!!! I was proud to be sitting in the audience.. watching creativity being birthed.

My co-worker Erin ... she's going to Massage School and she needs to practice.. so I offered myself as a practice subject.. She's going to bring over her table.. and work on me for an hour.. She's learning.. only into this a month.. but I'll gladly relax my limbs for her.. anytime! Who's going to pass up free? Not me.

I also showed my car to someone last nite.. I'll admit that it's been quite frustrating.. trying to get people interested in my car.. but i'll tell you one thing.. I have been doing my homework.. and figuring out the money part.. on Sunday, October 2nd.. I will go to a dealer and drive away with a new car.. THAT is my goal. I will be driving to work on October 3rd in my first Car.

My sister leaves momentarily.. for her 3 day cruise... i'm a little jealous.. not so much about the cruise.. but for the vacation.. i really would like to plan a vacation sometime soon.. away from here.. something fun.. and relaxing.. I haven't been on an actual vacation since my girl Kyra and I went to San Fran in 2003.

I hope to take a small break sometime this weekend.. and meet Allison.. i 'met' her online.. thru Kyra's blog.. and she lives in the area.. I am excited to meet another creator/dreamer girl.. and maybe become friends!

OK.. have a great day ya'll.. I'll talk to you soon!
onward and upward!
ancora imparo " I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.22.05

Hey ya'll!

how are you? i'm good. tired, but good. Wish I didn't have to go to work today..but instead I will try to have a relaxing and steady day instead. It was positively absolutely a beautiful day yesterday, weather wise.. cool breezes... in the mid 70's.. SO georgeous!

Ok.. I have enjoyed a good LONG run with my car... my Camry has lasted me a long time.. many many miles... and hours spent singing, laughing and crying... inside the confines of my beautiful car. I am grateful that overall she has been in perfect working order.. and i must say.. that this experience of looking to buy a new car.. I am SO ready to give my Camry up. Does she need work? yes.. she is old and needs a tuneup.. and struts.. and shocks... probably. I will admit that every day.. driving the Camry gets a bit more frustrating.. i know that as I think, so shall it be... and I can tell that she's responding to my frustration.. there's a little jiggling sound today in the dash where it wasn't there yesterday.. nothing major.. just an annoyance.. I'm SOOOO ready for a newer car.. driving stick again... and taking on the financial responsibility.. ON MY OWN!!!

So with that said.. I wish, right now, today, that I sell my car easily today for the amount of money I feel she is valued at. I wish that this exchange happens quickly and easily.. for my highest good and the highest good for all concerned. I need to be patient, i know, and i am ready to drive away in my very first car by myself NOW.

Dinner at Scotts last nite was great. Stephanie is a great cook and basically took care of a lot of the preparation. The beautiful evening, weather wise.. was enhanced by the beautiful surroundings in the back yard. Trickling water... candles.. incense... good food... lovely! Got home around midnight.. a bit late for me.. I was cranky... and didn't get to sleep till 12:30.. (eh.. i'll survive) it was worth it! :)

Tonite is Naomi's debut show casing of her Comedy Showcase!!! I know it's going to be GREAT! This is the beginning of something great!!! I'm sure it is!!!

3 things that make me happy:
- Smelling the morning air... you can smell the autumn leaves changing. Smells SO comforting.
- Knowing I will be working NON STOP on Saturday on my cards.. all day and all night.. push push!!! I will not make one plan... to do anything else besides sit there and PLUG AWAY!!! (although there's a lot of fun things I want to do this weekend.. oh well)
- I changed my land line phone plan to a much cheaper plan.. that will make me happy and makes me feel like I'm being fiscally responsible. I will be setting up automatic bill pay for all my bills.. that too.. will make me feel more financially stable.

2 things that i look forward to today:
- DEFINITELY the end of this workday.. actually even more than that.. the end of Friday's workday.
- Hopefully hearing from someone about an opportunity to flourish.

2 long term things I look forward to:
- Giving someone the keys to my car, as I receive the cash in return.. and getting a ride to the VW dealership to buy a car.
- Finishing up my 300th card!

1 person I am going to appreciate:
- ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW BEING FORCED TO EVACUATE... THAT ARE IN HARMS WAY FOR THE CURRENT HURRICANE RITA.. GOD BLESS YOU... AND PLEASE FOLLOW YOUR GUT!!!

k.. have a great day...Happy Birthday Jennifer Nelson!
onward and upward
ancora imparo " I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.21.05

Howdy folks...

what's shakin... Wednesday.. thankfully.. have lots of sitting in front of the coffee table ahead of me in the next 7 days... but i know i can get them all done.. My card protectors should arrive either today or tomorrow. I decided against the fortunes this time.. and will revisit that at a later time..

I got my location for Art on the Avenue yesterday!!! I'm a bit farther down that i would like us to be.. but eh. nothing much I can do about it.. it's about the experience.... I will be documenting the experience, with my camera.. so I can show you all how my day goes.. I have wonderful friends and family coming... and I am grateful for the support!!!

Got a phone call yesterday... let's just say that things are always changing... who knows.. I'll fill you more in if anything comes of it. or email me and I'll tell you more..

Still this confusion around trying to get someone to buy my car.. sigh.. it's a bit frustrating.. putting your time and energy talking to someone about buying the car.. and they never getting back to you.. truth is.. I need the money from the car.. to put a down payment on my new car (I'm thinking I might like the SILVER Jetta vs. the Red.. there is a Silver one I want to test drive in the next day or so) so I need to go thru this experience of finding someone to buy.. but it's frustrating a bit... I got my car inspected and emissions yesterday.. all with flying colors!

I am still getting some great compliments on my hair... some of the guys at work call me "Jamie Lee Curtis".. sigh.. those funny boys.. work is eh.. fine.. steady.. thankfully it's been quiet...my boss was out yesterday... which was a nice relaxing day..

This guy that I have been talking to online, who sounded interesting, came over yesterday.. he was cute.. we chatted while I worked on cards... very impulsive decision of me... but he was nice.. maybe we can hang out again.. very smart!

Tonite I'm going over to my friend Scotts house with my friend Stephanie.. to celebrate Scotts Birthday.. we're going to grill out in Scotts BEAUTIFUL back yard with fountain and tiki torches!!! looking forward to it!

Anyway my friends.. hope you have a great Day!
onward and upward
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

kerilyn

High/Low 9.20.05

Hey ya'll...

what's shakin? Tuesday... It's still so nice outside... i love it. it was a bit muggy yesterday.. but for almost october.. so nice.. the trees haven't even begun to change their color.. Naomi's tree has begun dropping leaves though.. but no changing color yet.. hmm..

i had a great day yesterday.. i got a LOT of compliments on my hair! One of the guys at my job even said it was sexy! How awesome is that! I felt great all day... wore a nice dress.. felt great! I got a lot of work done too... so that's good... today i have to go to job sites... so hopefully it'll be another nice day!

Had a great evening! Angela, my roomie, and I went to TenPenh (Peter's restaurant) we got there at 5:30.. sat at the bar.. we had a great time! Peter brought out some samplings.. YUM!!!! and we had 2 drinks each... talked... and chatted with the Bartender.. I had a great time! Got back and Naomi came over with 'Mind the Gap' movie.. really good movie.. quite slow to begin.. but midway thru the movie.. it sucked me in... movie about Forgiveness.. Angela, Naomi and i were just sitting around on the couch... watching the movie.. it was so great! I felt exactly where i was supposed to be..

bummed out note.. the kinds of card protectors that i have been really wanting are out of stock till mid october.. so i had to get the kind that do not open... but i convinced the guy to give me 10 of the kind i wanted.. to use as examples.. so people can open my cards and see what is said.. without damaging them.. the others will have to be sealed shut.. oh well.. it is what it is...

I am waiting to hear back from someone who might buy my car for 1500 bucks.. that is goign to be the determining factor on when i buy my first car... fingers crossed!!!

3 things that make me happy:

- Feeling good in my skin.. feeling happy with the fact that although everything isn't exactly as it is.. I'm appreciating what I do have.. instead of focusing too much on what i don't have.
- Knowing that my sister, Kristine, is really enjoying getting to know this guy that likes her and vice versa.. i can hear elation in her voice.. it makes me so happy! She deserves the BEST.. in life and in love.. and it makes me get all mushy to know that she's experiencing it!
- Getting a message from my Auntie telling me she loves me.. and is thinking of me. Thanks Auntie!

2 things that I look forward to today:
- Getting cards done tonite.. sitting down and being realistic about my 300 card goal...
- Hopefully setting up an appointment to hopefully sell my car.

2 long term things that i look forward to:
- My first sale on Art on the Avenue! having a knowing that my cards will be a hit!
- Driving my new car to New York with my sister the weekend of October 22nd to visit my family.

1 person I am going to appreciate:
- Every single person that helped save all the animals affected by the Hurricane.. I saw a show on Animal Planet.. and those people are truly heros.. I am thankful to those that didn't listen to the 'tribe' thinking that they were crazy to help. THANK YOU!!!!!

anyway... i'm off.. gotta go do my hair... :)
onward and upward.
ancora imparo " I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.19.05

hey everyone...

another monday huh? well i guess we can approach this monday with dread.. or we can be happy we have homes, jobs that provide us with food, that our animals are safe... etc... we are blessed...

my old roomie.. Kristen from West Virginia University.. surprised me Friday nite saying that she wants to come down for Art on the Avenue on October 1st. What an AWESOME surprise!! I hope she can come. (Kriss.. you think you can come down? It'll be a WVU reunion of sorts...well it won't be the same without Lisa..)

Saturday i got my hair cut and colored and highlighted.. see pic... i LOVE it!!! it's shorter.. funkier cut and DEFINITELY more healthy! I spend 3 hours in the chair getting this look.. and I enjoyed it so much. My sister sat with me.. keeping me company.. I had a great day with her! I am so happy that as we get older.. that we are growing closer and closer.. it just makes me so happy.

Naomi and I had our yard sale yesterday.. LOL!! It was a bust for the most part.. I made 20 bucks and Naomi made 4... We sat outside starting at 9AM.. maybe 5 people came by.. it was a nice way for her and I to catch up.. and relax.. enjoy being outside of our awesome houses.. but after a while.. ugh.. got a bit boring. Naomi's friend Cherie came over.. we had a great spiritual talk... I think I 'get it' a bit more.. what our challenges are trying to teach us.. It really is fear.

I want an IPOD for christmas. (Random thought)

OK... LESS than 2 weeks left for the BIG DAY!!! I am working toward my goal every day, and WILL accomplish 300 cards! I ordered the plastic protectors for the cards yesterday, should get them this week sometime.

Back on the fear thing.. I'm still trying to 1. sell my car.. 2. work thru the fear of buying my first car/first purchase of anything significant.. This morning.. on my morning show i watch on TV.. she said.. "Do it afraid".. that kinda struck me.. We choose to NOT do SO MUCH because we are afraid.. but who KNOWS what could happen if we did it anyway?? I really feel like pushing thru this experience and saying i'm going to 'do it afraid'. The only way I'm going to know how to do it.. is to do it. I am predicting that in the next 4 weeks (hopefully 2) I will be driving a new car. A Volkswagon Jetta. I've listened to everyone's advice... about VW and their problem.. now it's time to listen to my own advice.

ok peeps.. it's time to go to work. I hope that Sara Cruley at the Art Institute of Washington got my card! Fingers crossed!

have a great day.
onward and upward.
ancora imparo 'I am still learning' in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.16.05

FRIDAY FRIDAY!!!!

Amen! How I am ready to just bust out of the office... go downtown at 4... go visit with one of my favorite clients... then go to the National Building Museum for my new volunteer badge.. and BREAK FREE (well until tomorrow morning when i have to be at a job site at 8am.. ugh)

I got 18 cards done last nite! I worked diligently from 7:30 to 11:30 last nite! I am feeling a bit far from my goal of 300.. but I can only just keep working toward it... i don't have any plans tonite so If you need me.. i'll be sitting in front of the TV.. at the coffee table.. plugging away at my creations... oh yea. i'm supposed to go test drive a few used jetta's tonite.. not sure I will.. i think cards come first.. we'll see..

had a good day yesterday... i feel pretty good today too.. had a great meditation.. the crickets lately have been louder than my chanting/meditation music i listen to every morning.. wow.. those crickets are sending some serious mating calls...

can't WAIT to get my hair done tomorrow!!! i have no idea what color i want to do.. what cut too.. but i'm sure it will be awesome! and then the yard sale on sunday.. naomi and i need to put signs out today.. maybe tonite... directing people to where the sale is.. i hope the weather holds out for us Sunday...

i wish you all a great weekend...
onward and upward
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.15.06 Only Thursday?

hey ya'll.

This week is going by relatively slowly for me... it's like in slo mo.... it's weird.. yesterday was a bit muggy out.. a drastic difference from the past weeks glorious weather.. i think today will be humid too.

Getting more excited to get my hair done.. countdown to new 'do' !!! Yea! I wonder what it's going to look like... feel like.. the color? i don't know! :)

thanks for your support everyone... I really do appreciate it... I love that I have a silent (and sometimes not so silent) support group waiting in the wings to catch me.. emotionally, spiritually, what have you... that is a great comfort. Thank you.

Went to Baltimore yesterday for a Trade Show of Interior Design/Furniture products.. It was fine.. nothing earth shattering. I met up with my girl Davina for lunch.. good to catch up...! I saw some people who I only get to see but once a year... I showed some of them my cards.. I got great responses!! It's an awesome feeling to have someone say "wow.. Kerilyn.. these are really great!" Makes me feel like I'm working on my calling.. even though I'm not sure what that is exactly..

Came home.. made a yummy hamburger.. and got some cards done. I made 2 mistakes.. partially because i was more entralled with watching TV and I wasn't paying attention.. 2 card mistakes equals 30 minutes.. and I really need to be more vigilant with my focus... either I watch a movie that I've already seen.. so my interest isn't anywhere else but on my Benchmarks... I didn't get as many cards done as I wanted.. Cause the season finale/premiere (don't know) of Veronica Mars was on... I LOVE THAT SHOW!!! I am definately hooked.. (plus I really like her hair/makeup/outfits)

Had a great meditation this morning... went quite deep.. that hasn't happened in a while.

3 things that make me happy:
- Thinking of butterflies ( I've been thinking about them a lot lately)
- Thinking of planting a lilac bush in the backyard in the next month.. and putting in a little pond in the spring... maybe get a frog.. (LOL.. i'm funny!)
- I know that my life, as I see it today, will NOT be like this in a year.. or even 6 months from now.. and I am hopeful that my wish for financial, emotional, spiritual, creative abundance befalls upon me RIGHT NOW....

2 things I look forward to today:
- My morning smoothie.. (I was running late yesterday and didn't get to make one.)
- The end of the workday.

2 long term things I look forward to today:
- The possiblity of rekindling (2) friendships that have fallen out...I am optimistic.
- Dancing to some great Reggae music somewhere.. sometime... I need a good nite of dancing to music that makes my blood flow!! Davina - Dancing soon????

1 person I am going to appreciate:
- To every single person out there on this earth.. I can't say just one person.. Everyone in this world has encountered heartache.. minor or major.. and I want to appreciate you that read this.. and all those that enhabit this earth.. (even the dark energies) because they too.. have those crazy times.. those moments when everything seems to fall apart... and yet somehow they get thru.. KUDOS TO ALL OF US!!!!! WE ARE GREAT!

We are all doing the best job that we can... sigh.. Why are there rude, crude, and mean people out there.. that affect us??? Because somewhere.. behind their eyes... in their memory roladex.. is a check list of how to survive, what's worked up to now... and truly.. they are just scared and lonely boys and girls.. who need help and love.. just like us gentle souls... frustrating? HECK YES.. but those bullies.. and mean people are no different than us.. they just project their fear differently.. remember that today (ok.. i'm saying this for me... maybe it will help you too.. )

Anyway... I wish myself and yourselves.. a wonderful day.. jam packed with clarity about our lives.. where we want to go.. and appreciation for where we already have been.. RIGHT NOW.

onward and upward
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.14.05

hola..

wednesday... thankfully another week zipping by...

Random thought: I have come up with another thing i want to accomplish in my life...

I desire to see the path of the monarch butterfly.. and see where they rest for the winter in Southern California/ Central Mexico. I think it would be AWESOME to see acres of butterflies.. and it would tickle my soul I think.. I'm reading an article about them.. and heard about them when I saw Wayne Dyer.. I think that would be amazing.. NOT that I am one to like things crawling on me.. but i think I could handle a butterfly or ladybug.

Got some cards done yesterday.. still feel better.. work was ok.. nothing earth shattering...

I am SOOO looking forward to getting my hair cut/colored/highlighted on Saturday! It is true what "they" say about a good haircut can make a big difference in someone's outlook.. I have NO idea how i'm going to get my hair cut.. but I trust my sister when she says that her friend, who's doing my hair, knows how to cut thin hair...

I would like to have 150 cards done by this weekend too... I need to order the clear card jackets.. and fortunes.. this weekend too..

And how about this.. I have a tagline for my Benchmarks.. like a sign to display my cards.. what do you think of this..

'Benchmarks' - Because life is personal. here is a sketch of what I mean.. just something i'm working on in my head... let me know what you think... I think I want to say " because life is personal' because it is.. and I'm still kinda in awe of my boss telling me not to be me.. and not to be so appreciative.. that really rocked me... and who i am.. these cards are me.. they are personal.. and life.. should not be a knee jerk reaction.. but an emotional (and at the same time rational) reaction to life.. and our experiences...

I wish RIGHT NOW.. for an opportunity where I can be me.. where I am able to look someone in the eye and say 'THANK YOU... I appreciate all your help!" and not feel like I'm doing something wrong...

So yea.. if you have suggestions... please let me know.

gracias senoritas y senors..
onward and upward
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.13.05

howdy

still feel pretty good...very thankfully... looking at the pictures from the wedding this weekend.. wish i had some better pictures to show you.. but none of them are stellar.. unfortunately..

i still can't figure out how one day/week I'm like all riled up.. over emotional.. and hypersensitive.. and the next minute/moment... I'm calm.. centered.. and can see clearly.. I don't get what happens in between those moments.. it boggles me.

i had a good meditation this morning.. visualized my cards doing well.. and how that somehow segways into my own store. We'll see...

dont' have much to say.. so we'll focus on the good things:

3 things that make me happy:
- NOT feeling like the world is closing in on me.
- my cat, Pez.. how she sleeps with me at night..how she almost always comes and sits on my lap in the middle of my meditation.
- the cool breezes out the window.. while meditating and the sound of crickets.

2 things I look forward to today:
- the end of this workday
- getting more cards done tonite.

2 long term things I look forward to:
- Seeing if I can sell all the extraneous things I have around the house at the yard sale this Sunday.. getting some extra cash, and cleaning out my room (where a lot of my stuff resides currently)
- Putting up the shades in my room (i need a drill) and getting my bedroom comfy and cosy.


1 person I am going to appreciate:
- I appreciate all the the searchers, and dreamers... who refuse to sit still and let their life pass them by.. but stride daily to live out their passions.. It is meeting entrepreneurs, musicians, chefs, artists... all who have a vision.. a dream for their life.. It is those that I appreciate today, for I look to them for strength.. for a way of coping thru the hard times.. when the "tribe" makes me choose to not look to the sky to view the infinite stars.. possibilities.. their reminders that life does NOT have to be like it is today. That everything can change in an instant.

To all of you who pretend to be something by day.. doing the best you can to keep your dream alive.. while maintaining security in our daily needs... Bravo! Now take the next step.. and move toward your dream... and don't let your BOSS, boyfriend/girlfriend,parents, siblings... tell you you can't.. it's fear... step toward it... it's scary as hell, yes. but it's what it's all about.. (trust me.. i'm taking my own baby steps... i'm no where NEAR where i wish and desire to be.. but eh.. one step at a time) ~~~~ I JUST GOT AN IDEA FOR A NEW CARD!!!!!~~~~~ YEA!

Thank you.. to all of you out there.. keep listening to that inner voice.. even inside the tornado of insane thoughts.. and crazy ideas... keep charging thru it... Listen to your heart.. no matter what... no matter who says you couldn't. or shouldn't...

onward and upward
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in latin
Kerilyn

Night words...

Something weird happened to me today... and i still can't figure it out.. so i thought i'd write about it...

i woke up quite sad.. despair.. lonely..well you read my entry this morning... i was crying.. feeling angry at God and the Universe (which I know is me.. writing this for myself) not wanting to go on.. I was praying.. and asking for help... BEGGING for help...

and then something weird happened.. I suddenly snapped out of it. I got a bit of money from Angela's rent.. and suddenly.. I was almost restored... it's amazing to me.. how money (or primarily the lack of it) can be the precipce of feelings of insanity.. of being out of control.. and having some.. even a little.. is like being back in the shallow end of the pool.. you can see your feet at the bottom of the pool.. it's strange. Going to be a stretch for you who know me as this spoiled woman.. to think of me always being on the broke end of the totem pole most of my 20's.. but i have been... with or without limited allowances and lack of financial education.. no matter how much money it is/was... it's amazing how much safer and saner i feel when I have a bumper.. a rainy day fund..

i went back to work... and felt so much better... not even work my arrogant boss would/could bother me.. Was it angelic help? probably.. was I alone? definately not.. but I suddenly felt and still feel.. like what a doctor would say "his blood pressure returned to normal"... If how I was feeling this morning was abnormal.. I MUST figure out how to NOT feel that way.. because it's daunting.. like i'm trapped in my own scary movie.. (i don't like scary movies) and i can't get out.. or shut it off...

I still feel great! Wow... it's amazing.. like 180 from when I opened my eyes..

Like I said.. do i think it's a response from a prayer/s that i've been saying? heck yes. But it's amazing to me how NOT feeling at the bottom of the barrel.. is comforting to me.

anyway.. back to our regularly scheduled rambling.. in the morning.
nighty nite.
kerilyn

High/Low 9.12.05

hi...

i don't know what to say.. the past few weeks... I have felt alone.. lost..misunderstood.. i don't know where to turn... i don't know what else to say to anyone... i can't seem to stop crying... i feel all over the place... so in an attempt to NOT focus on that... here's what's good in my life.. what i'm grateful for.

1. i'm alive.. breathing.. i have 2 arms and 2 legs that work.
2. i can see, hear, smell, feel the air, feel my cat and taste my coffee
3. i have shelter.. a beautiful home.. that i try to keep as clean and cat hair free as possible.
4. i have a job that provides me with the income to have shelter and food.
5. i have transportation.. a car that has been everywhere with me... and i am grateful that I have her.
6. i have the ingredients to make a smoothie this morning before work.

a good thing that happened to me...

naomi and i went to the ice cream store in Del Ray.. where i... one day.. WILL have my store.. and got to talking with the owner of the ice cream store.. mentioned about my cards.. and she said i can put my cards in her store! that's great!!!

i did 60 cards this week..better than nothing...

i saw an old friend get married.. she looked beautiful! it was a georgeous day! wow.. outside.. we sat on hay bails...it was beautiful... i sat in silence most of the way to and from west virginia.. and thought... prayed... it was a beautiful drive!!!

i am excited to get my hair done this upcoming weekend.. i have NO idea what the color/cut will be.. but i'm excited for a change.

anyway.. i don't know what else to say....
funny... all the people who find reading my high/low so refreshing.... trust me.. you do NOT want to be in this brain of mine today...and for that i'm grateful...

kerilyn

High/Low 9.8.05

Hey all...

how's your week? It's almost over... I think I couldn't of asked for better weather for these few days off I've had.. it's been glorious! Absolutely decadent weather.. that chill in the air in the morning.. and the beautiful breezes that blow thru the house...the amazingly blue sky with cotton ball white clouds... i love it! Have had the air conditioning off for more than a week now.. i really enjoy going to sleep to the sound of crickets ... SO nice!

Let's just say that yesterday was the climax of emotion for me.. Wow.. i'm amazed at how physically present my fear of failing is, fear of making this my first purchase which means responsible decision. My reaction to the decision whether I should or shouldn't buy this car... was surprising to me. I cried and cried.. like a frustrated baby would for hours! I still have some tenseness in my head from all the crying.. I feel a bit exhausted today... thankfully only in the office 1/2 day.. then I'm on my own this afternoon.

I got an offer from someone to buy my car for $1250 dollars. Above Kelley blue book.. I have this feeling though.. that I can get $1500 for it. There are 2 more interested people, this evening.. so we'll see. If I can get 1500 for it, then I will go get the Jetta (I have to buy a car at that point, i won't have a car to drive.)

Going to West Virginia this weekend.. for a wedding of an old friend whom I haven't seen in years. I am excited to see her.... I remember so vividly.. her and i going to a thrift store.. and her trying on a Wedding dress... it was like $15 bucks. In a few days I'll get to see what she REALLY is going to wear. I haven't been to Morgantown, WV in a LONG time! Years. I'm excited to see how the town changed.. go down memory lane... see our old house... also hoping to walk around.. taking in the clean air.. and the energy.. that i was once a part of. Maybe the leaves will have started to change...

I don't know what to say... I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today.. it's fear. I know I have faith that something bigger than me is helping out... but wow... it's amazing how, when I feel the fear.. how I want to say that i am totally alone..,.. how quickly i denounce everything that I believe in.. wow.. it's an inner red flag to myself what I have to work on. This is a tough lesson, in the moment, It appears.. When things get stressful.. that's when I need to LEAN on my faith.. not decide that because I am not receiving a miracle.. that God doesn't exist. Wow.. it's been an amazing few days. Would I wish them back, no. but important ones nonetheless...

On a good note, I'm trucking along on the cards, I made 10 cards last nite. It really helps to plant myself in the living room, on the coffee table, than the basement.. interesting. And because I've decided to go to WV on Saturday, instead of Friday like I was originally planning to... I'm hopeful to get 30 cards knocked out between tonite and when I leave on Saturday morning.

ok all.. have a great day... i'm going to try to as well.
onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.7.05

Hey there.

Wednesday.. another day off. It has been absolutely positively wonderful outside.. that's crispness is here.. that little tug on your sweater saying "Autumn is here!! I'm here!" The leaves on the tree in Naomi's yard have begun to shed they're leaves.. and I am starting to see more yellows on the trees.. it's happening.. the beginning of hibernation mode for our beautiful earth.

So I got this email yesterday.. about saving the animals that were affected by the Hurricane (Thanks Scott) wow.. I emailed it to ya'll, I called the woman who is trying to help... Gosh.. listening to her voice mail.. her sincerity..I called the shelter in Mississippi.. they are needing homes for animals.. I will call them today.. see what i can do... maybe taking a kitty in that is scared would help. I pray that whatever i can do to help..will happen. Janet at the Shelter said that a lot of people in the North are helping... that it's overwhelming. GREAT!!! Let's keep it up! above is the website of the shelter... if you can do something.. send donations.. whatever you can.. let's do it!

Yesterday morning.. I put on music.. and cleaned my living room.. dancing around... reggae music.. and chill loungey dance music.. it's amazing how much better we feel when our rooms are clean.. it shouldnt' surprise me.. it's all about energy. Feels SO much better!

So starting yesterday afternoon..I felt more centered... I brought my cards upstairs from the basement. sat at the coffee table in the living room (Where i started doing cards) and spent like 5 hours and completed 30 cards! One whole type of card.. my book card... is done! I am VERY proud of myself.. I think it's easier to do my cards upstairs where it's sunnier.. and the breezes are floating around....

Peter found someone who would buy my car for $1500 dollars.. which .. would be a miracle! My dad got the title.. and is on his way right now to bring title.. and swap out tires with my sisters car.. Who knows what is going to happen today... Sigh.. I'm a little nervous.. a lot of other people's energy today... my father's (who is HIGH negative energy) and Peter (who wants me to JUST DO IT.. don't be overemotional about it) my own energy (EEK! nervous tummy energy...)

BUT.. on the other hand.. HOW FREAKING COOL would it be to drive to West Virginia this weekend in a new car! VERY! wow... I need to remain centered.. ohmmmmmmmm... i might meditate...

"Peace - it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work, it means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart." - Unknown (on my coffee mug right now)

My friend Mary Ann wrote the nicest email to me.. she said i'm one of the most talented people she knows.. Wow.. how great is that? I feel blessed someone thinks that about me.

Ok... well you have a good day.. if you are reading this and wouldn't mind.. say a prayer or affirmation or postive thought for me, would you? I could use it. Thank you.

oh.. so i'm thinking of "u r jah" (jah=God in Rastafarian) for my lisence plate.. just pondering..

Have a blessed day.
onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.6.05

hey there everyone..

how was your memorial day weekend festivities? I think, if i were to guess, in some way, shape or form all of us had a little bit of sadness lingering around us.. like some fuzz on our shirts ( or cat hair in my example) due to the incredible amount of people in this world who do not have a home, or a bed. I realize how self-centered we are... there are people in other countries that have to walk miles just for water every day.. and we don't say thank you to the water that comes into our homes, within 3 feet of where we sleep. I try to remember to put my hand on the faucet and say a little 'thank you' ... might sound silly but I am grateful for this comfort. Now there are people in our country that don't have running water, or a bed for that matter... here i am.. sitting in my awesome house... typing to you all.. I am blessed.

How am I? I still don't know.. the past week has been quite a roller coaster... and I feel a bit all over the place mentally and emotionally.. Thankfully I have today and tomorrow off.. where I can do some stuff..

So I'm off the next two days... I desire silence the next few days, desire to meditate.. and focus... i put a lot of energy into finding a car.. and now i am no closer to saying "I OWN MY OWN CAR!!!".. yea yea.. if it is meant to be.. it will be.. yea.. sounds like a page from my book... but I feel a bit sad. I spent the majority of this weekend... looking at cars, doing research on cars... etc... I know... my research and homework will prove valuable when I actually go buy a car.. very true... but I'm just sad..I really liked that Red VW Jetta.

Have been hanging out with my roommate, Angela.. she's very cool. i am very glad she's my roommate.. I am still getting used to the extra energy in the house.. I'm used to the silence all the time.. not talking for hours.. (except inside my head) and it's a bit of a flurry of energy to get used to... I helped her yesterday buy paint and help her paint her room.. Yellow on 3 walls, green on 1 and white ceiling and trim.. it looks great and feels really uplifting.. the yellow.

LOL... I have to laugh because I'm listening to Wayne Dyer.. the inspirational speaker.. and the funny part is.. the first thing he says is.. "When your thinking negatively.. to close your eyes.. and see yourself putting a stamp of 'CANCEL' and 'NEXT' on the negative thoughts you are having ...that it will diminish the negative thoughts.. I was JUST about to type to you... "My faith has really been pulled the past week.. to the point where I'm questioning what I believe... sigh.. yea.. CANCEL.... NEXT!!!

I guess I might not know why things are happening the way they are.. but must believe... I need to believe i am in abundance.. not lack.. in joy.. not sadness...i can probably get more done if I think more joyfully! I will try, starting right now..

So i have today and tomorrow off.. You know what i'm going to do? CARDS! CARDS CARDS CARDS all day long! (ok.. and going to Ikea too ... :) I've chosen to be so consumed by the thought of getting this car.. that I have not done one card.. (ok, I've started one)

I can do this... I can do this... I can do this! I choose peace rather than this!!

3 things that make me happy:
- KNOWING that it's really about my thoughts.. and not about what happens outside of me.
- KNOWING that I can change my thoughts RIGHT NOW.. from sadness to joy.. in one second.
- Being off the next 2 days, and being alone the next 2 afternoons/nights

2 things I look forward to today:
- Doing cards. I am shooting for 100 cards in the next 2 days! I can do it!
- Cleaning my house.. cleaning the bathroom and the kitchen and living room! I will feel better to get it cleaner!

2 long term things I look forward to:
- My Benchmark TShirt was the wrong color... so they are sending me another one.. so I have 2 benchmark TSHIRTS instead of one!!!
- Seeing Angelas room done... and how beautiful the sun makes the room shine! With all her stuff in it..

1 person I am going to appreciate:
- Wayne Dyer.. it's amazing how one person..can change the way I feel.. I know that it's not just him but God working thru him.. but still.. I suddenly feel a LOT better! Thanks Wayne!!!

ok.. enough rambling today.. I wish you peace.

oh yea.. here's a thought.. i WILL have my first car... soon.. hopefully in the next 2 months.. and i plan on getting vanity plates so.. i want on Virginia's DMV site.. you can plug in your license plate.. and see if it's available.. I really wanted "NAMASTE" (means 'peace be with you' but it's taken) i played around for a while this weekend.. a lot of spiritual plates are taken.. if you have any thoughts.. let me know.. it can only be 7 letters...

i liked.. 'HEY KER" but really want something spiritual.. if you can think of anything.. let me know.

thank you all.. for being there.. in the ethers..
onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 9.1.05

hey

don't feel like talking to anyone today, I might not... feel like crying.... i had a very challenging day... in every respect.. from every angle.. work... my boss told me 5 people complained about me... LONG story.. he told me to "not be me" anymore.. :( He said that I was too appreciative.. and i take it overboard.. wow.. i thought thanking someone was a nice thing to do.. guess not.. (Can you all see how this stifles my soul?) (already crying)

my faith is really being pushed yesterday and today... i'll admit. I know it's going to be ok.. but I'm being really challenged this week....

Then the car.. which I had the opportunity to drive all day... Thoughts from every angle on what people thought of Volkswagons, Jettas, cost of fixing them, and whether i'm "ready" for this.... i appreciate this.. but with the conversation about "not being me" first thing in the morning.. it was SO much more difficult to hear all this..

It's was a really nice car.. i felt really good in it.. really enjoyed driving stick again... and not having the hard ride that my current car's state is in.. need new struts.. it was nice to have a keyless entry.. and i like the VW Key/entry remote..it's cool... it was red and although i never really saw myself in a red car.. it was pretty cool...

I chose not to get the car.. I didn't want to make this decision alone.. and Peter was working... (give me a break.. i'm going from spoiled little daddys girl to making this decision.. i just want to have someone there to make sure I do this right..) they wouldn't let me "sleep on it' another day. (I might've changed my mind if i had a day to really think about it without all the work issues) But alas.... i guess it was not meant to be.. won't lie.. i'm quite sad... i know there are tons of cars out there.. but It was a nice car. and actually a pretty good price for what was in it.. que sera sera...

But i will tell you this... by Christmas.. you BETTER BELIEVE (and if you don't..start wrapping your brains around this thought) I will have a new car... a used car but a new car to me... ) I cannot predict how long my current car will last... in that time i will research.. but if it dies tomorrow... well... you know what will happen.. that time period gets shorter for me to research..

I was SLAMMED at work today... i didn't get to go home for lunch (drive the car) cause i had to go to a meeting... SLAMMED... as it stands.. i was supposed to take vacation starting tomorrow..but I have SO much work to do.. that i chose to come in tomorrow morning... so much to do

and i'm not even excited to have a few days off? HOW FREAKING SAD IS THAT? i don't care... i dont' care if i have an extra day off... I DON'T CARE!!!!!! (still crying)

my parents never called me to tell me how my mothers doctors appointment went.. that kinda upset me.. i called her.. and of course "medicine will make it better". and "my mental outlook is better now that i have the medicine".... 2 cortizone shots in the shoulder i guess does the trick.. (phyllis.. i didn't have the mental capacity to tell her about the medication you told me about but i will - thanks honey)

the one obvious good thing that happened to me yesterday was the notice from Art on the Avenue that Kyra and i are in!!! YEA!!! And it was addressed to "Benchmarks" how cool is that? VERY!!! i know I have to get my patootie on the cards.. September 1st.. 30 days for 300 cards! Can i do it? i know i can.. this weekend i will order the fortunes and the clear bags..

Anyway... lotsa good days... few bad days... this... is life.. I'm grateful because I have a home and a car to begin with.. unlike a lot of our southern folks... so i should be happy..... still sucks.
onward and upward.
ancora imparo "i am still learning" in Latin
kerilyn