High/Low 6.29.05

Hey all..

What's shakin? I'm happy to report that I accomplished all my goals set forth from yesterday (Naomi helped me with the kitty food~ thanks Naomi!) I have a lot to do today as well.. but today is a lot more relaxed.

I had lunch with my friend Lisa Buchanan. Unfortunately, I felt a bit off emotionally.. so I don't think I was as present as I normally am. Lisa, I owe you a lunch packed with more Kerilyn energy as soon as things settle down. We went to this FUNKY thai restaurant (cool design) and the food was pretty good too!

I got my eyes checked yesterday.. got new contacts! Rockin. I can see SO much clearer! I think I would love to have Lasik done to my eyes.. sigh.. to wake up in the morning and just... see. I can't fathom it! I also went to the focus group.. furniture dealer in the process of making new line of furniture and needed imput.. eh.. $125.00 for one hour, not too shabby! Then I went to the airport.. and waited for my Auntie's flight to come in.. She looks GREAT!!! We had a great nite.. went to a diner.. got some dinner (albeit a bit late) and then came home..and sat up till 2AM talking.. I HOPE the rest of this time is just as good and relaxed.. and I get to spend some quality time with her (and my Uncle Ben who is flying in today)

Poor Peter.. he's going in today for his root canal. I know he must be feeling nervous. I'm sending him some good energy.

Ok... off I go.. gotta go pick up lunch.. drop off at my parents.. (with my Auntie) go and pick up my Uncle.. and back to my parents house.. long day ahead of me...

onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.28.05

Hey all...

Ok.. well.. Today is the day it begins.. I have an unsettled feeling in my stomach.. all I have to do today.. to get it all done... For my own randomness.. here's what i have to do today.

1. Go to work. I have this proposal out there.. looming over my head.. that I KNOW I will not complete by the end of the day today (very involved) and a furniture install on Thursday that I HOPE (fingers crossed) goes well without me. This is sorta giving me anxiety a little... plus my boss is in the office today, that makes me nervous too.
2. Going to lunch with my friend Lisa.. I'm looking forward to it. We're going to eat Thai.
3. I have to get kitty food/litter today sometime.
4. Need to clean bathroom still..and straighten up both my bedroom and spare room (cleaned first floor last nite and was too pooped to do the 2nd floor)
5. Go to my Eye Dr appt at 6pm. (I want to start wearing contacts more)
6. Go to Focus Group at 8pm ($125.00 for ONE hour.. CASH! Couldn't pass that up!)
7. Pick up Auntie from Airport at 10pm

I feel all over the place in my head today.. whishing.. is a good word.. My meditation started off that way this morning.. then got really deep. I hope some healing/protection occured.. I am going to need it today.

Side note: I absolutely positively love love love my cat! I think she can sense my all over the place-ness.. she's been so loving.. and supportive. She knows when my alarm goes off and comes and wakes me up.. scratches my arm to get me up.. I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! She lays on the floor in the bathroom when I'm taking a shower.. waiting for me. She usually comes and sits in my lap while I meditate for 30 minutes. She's been so loving.. it kinda makes me cry.. happy, in awe tears.. (See.. all over the place today)

Anyway.. I think starting today.. don't get all upset if you dont' see me writing.. for I have NO idea how the next few days are going to go.. I don't know if I will have time to write.. I'll try to fill you in how it goes.. definately try thursday nite.. after my mom's surgery.. Peter is having his root canal done tomorrow (Wednesday) so he can spend the day in the hospital with me and my family.. I think that is very sweet. I was kinda blown away by that.

so I wish you all a good day.. say a prayer... for yourself firstly... then for my mom (if you don't mind) and my family.. Thank you. I appreciate it.

onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
kerilyn

PS: oh yea.. random thought.. I went and had my feet done yesterday.. I wanted to do something nice for me.. my toesies look good! And I bought stuff to make smoothies this week.. that makes me happy too. :)

High/Low 6.27.05

Yo.

How are you? I'm eh.. honestly a bit sad.. lonely.. scared.. lost lately...this is going to be a very busy week.. quite emotional week for me.. there are a lot of thing out there this week.. unknowns.. and I'm not too sure how to face them.

It was good to get out of town this weekend.. I haven't been away in a while. (although the traffic was very stinky both ways..ugh) I learned a new card game.. ate french pancakes.. watched a great movie http://www.alovesongforbobbylongmovie.com/ , had a really good meal at a restaurant, slept like a rock, and just hung out.. it was good to get away.. for a while.

I do not want to go to work today.. I have tons of cleaning to do.. and I was too pooped/hungry last nite to do it. I think I may leave work early today and 1. go get my feet done and 2. start cleaning. I would like to run at least 2 times this week.. (not sure how that's going to go) Family comes into town starting tomorrow, so I have to get things together.

I am very sorry to hear that my sister's good friend Emily's mom passed away yesterday. Emily is my age and she is pregnant. I cannot fathom how she is feeling and my thoughts and prayers go out to her this week.

I guess I want to say that I ask you to be patient with me this week. I cannot foreshadow how I am going to feel thru this week and might not have time/energy to write every day.

onward and upward.
ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

"Life is full of obstacle illusions" - Grant Frazier (my newest favorite quote)

High/Low 6.24.05

Howdy neighbors!

So.. it's here.. finally.. FRIDAY! Thank Goodness! Whew... Truth be known.. that the days and weeks just fly by.. it really quite amazing.. when I am anticipating something frustrating at work.. BAM.. it's over and the day is done.. onto another day..

Well I am happy to report that today is a good day.. 1. my boss isn't in.. 2. i'm leaving for new jersey this afternoon (I might cut out of work a bit early to get on the road earlier) 3. I just plain feel good today.. Had a great meditation this morning.. ah.. so deep..

Yesterday was actually a good day too.. I have been working on this involved project.. and my boss reviewed it.. he seemed pleased.. (he wasn't his normal pessimist self - probably cause he was leaving for vacation)

Went running last nite.. really hot in the gym.. so it was a bit tough to stay focused.. I didn't see that georgeous tall glass of water yet.. Corey.. from WVU... looking for him.. did an arm workout too.. I think I need to find someone who can assist me with my weight training.. cause I know I'm trying to do as many machines as I can.. but I know there's a more effective way to weight train.. hmmm.. those personal trainers are SOOO expensive!! Gotta think on that... (Onyeali... u wanna help me here?)

Every day this week.. before I leave for work.. I make a smoothie.. with bananas and strawberries.. can I just say that it makes me SO happy.. driving into work with my smoothie.. ah.. So good! My mom bought me a smoothie/blender and I am using it every day...

Ok... So I haven't packed.. and I need to get on that.. I'm going to go home for lunch today and pack.. (it's only a weekend.. i'm not going to pack that much)

Hmm.. well I hope you all have a great weekend.. I will catch you all on Monday..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning' in Latin

Kerilyn

High/Low 6.23.05

Yellow!!!

How are ya? I'm good.. it's Thursday.. got a lot to do the next 2 weeks.. feel like I'm gearing up for a lot on my plate.... I'm leaving to go to New Jersey tomorrow for the weekend (need to get out of dodge for a while..). I'm looking forward to it... a lot. I haven't gone anywhere in a while...

So I posted a classified ad for a wood patio table and 2 benches for the summer party in August.. and I heard back from someone who's selling JUST that for 20 bucks!! Can't beat that!!! I've gotta go pick it up next week sometime (fit it in my schedule somewhere) Yea! Now all I have to do is spend some MAJOR time in the backyard.. cutting down all the weeds..planting some stuff.. and getting it ready to PAR-TAY!!! Yea!

Ran 2 miles yesterday... Felt good.. it's funny.. the second day that I exercise is always harder than the first day.. It's strange.. Thinking I'm going to the gym tonite to run too...

Found out Peter cracked his tooth and he has to have a root canal.. OUCH! He's been in immense pain lately..and it's no wonder.. the dentist says he can see the nerve.. wow.. no thanks..

Got a phone call from someone who saw my resume online.. job in Alexandria.. unfortunately it's more systems furniture.. and I"m not really interested but I'll talk to him today.. see what he is looking for/ salary... who knows.. a nice 15,000 raise would be nice (ok.. i'd do 10,000 more .. hee hee)

Weird.. yesterday i wrote that i saw pictures of an old friend, made me sad, etc... well yesterday morning.. ALL morning I was thinking of her.. and whoa.. came into work and she had written me. Talk about picking up on some vibes... :)

Finally.. i love it when my kitty cat, Pez, lays right next to me when I'm sleeping.. that makes me SO happy.. She did that last nite.. I love her!!!

Have a great day peeps!
Kerilyn

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

"We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us." -Jean-Paul Sartre

High/Low 6.22.05

Hi there.

So it's Wednesday... we're at the 1/2 way mark for the week... It still blows me away how fast time goes by..I mean it's already July.. I think we spend SO much time worrying about the future, I am one that does this too.. that we don't bring our awareness to now. It's quite amazing. I think time would slow down if we enjoyed every moment.. eh.. I sound like Eckhart Tolle, the author of "The power of Now" (I haven't read it yet..but I want to) http://www.eckharttolle.com/home.php

Ok.. so.. yesterday was actually an ok day.. I really do think the power of prayer is under used.. when I pray for a good day.. it usually happens... when I don't think of praying for a good day.. I usually get the opposite.

Ok.. so this amazing artist, her name is Terri she does these amazing pieces of artwork called Bone Sighs www.bonesigharts.com well I have been conversing with her about my cards.. getting advice, etc.. and she suggested that I get together with my friend Cathy, who does watercolor, and do this awesome street festival called 'Art on the Avenue' which happens in Alexandria in October. Well I heard from Cathy yesterday, she's interested!! And then I asked my girl Kyra.. and she's interested!!! So we are going to get a booth.. and I am going to sell my cards.. and Kyra her renderings and Cathy her watercolors!! www.artontheavenue.org check it out.. If your in the area.. I hope you put October 1st on your calendar and plan to come to see my first official gig, selling cards... and all the other beautiful artwork that is sold that day! Once next week is over with my family coming/mom's surgery.. I will call on the spirits who help inspire me and I need to get cracking on making cards!!!! Kyra put the link to this street fair on this page, where the links are.. just so you know.

I heard from my awesome friend Lisa Buchanan yesterday.. she mentioned about helping me find another jobby job.. I KNOW that if anyone can help me.. it's Lisa. She is so great.. and I get such a good feeling that she might be able to direct me.. We are going to have lunch on Tuesday to catch up.. and pow wow.. Thanks Lisa!!!

I went to the gym yesterday.. and ran 2 miles!!! Honestly.. my girl Davina has been running wiht her best friend and she told me she ran 3 miles yesterday..which prompted me to say.. 'I can do that too!' I just love to run.. i'm telling ya.. I had this great song on... repeat no less.. and just brought myself back to running at Forsyth Park in Savannah.. I started doing an arm workout but got a twinge in my neck and decided I didn't want to push it. I would love to start running 5 days a week... that way.. this silly weight will really start to come off and I will feel 'so much myself' again.

What else.. oh.. I saw some pictures of an old friend of mine online yesterday, someone i'm no longer friends with.. and it made me really sad. For the most part, I feel good about us deciding to go our separate ways.. but seeing those pictures made me remember how special she has been (and honestly always will be) to me.. and it just made me a little sad. :(

Naomi told me yesterday that she was "spotted" on the streets in DC for doing her comedy!!! I couldn't resist.. I think that's just the beginning of her eventual change of careers into Comedy. Someone walked up to her and recognized her from doing stand up.. AWESOME hon.. keep it going!!! Check out Naomi's blog site (listed on the links section)

Ok.. well that's all I can think of for today.. you have a great day.. and I'll catch ya lata!
kerilyn

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin


"The greatest obstacle to experiencing the reality of your connectedness is identification with your mind, which causes thought to become compulsive." - Eckhart Tolle

High/Low 6.21.05

Howdy folks...

How goes it? So.. did you learn something about me that you didn't know before.. from my 'triples'? I encourage you to do the same.. and send it to me... good way to get to know someone.. it was good to spend some time.. thinking about things I enjoy.. good to focus on that stuff.. i need to do that more.

I found out yesterday that my Aunt Marge and Uncle Ben are coming from NYC next Wednesday for my mom's surgery, on Thursday, and they are staying with me. My Auntie is coming in from Phoenix Tuesday nite. All my family is staying at my house! I am really excited! I have to do some serious cleaning between now and Tuesday nite... but I am excited for my family to be in my space, albeit not for a happy occasion. I will hopefully get a lot of great photos.. and have some great conversations. My uncle Ben is my grandfathers brother.. and for those who know.. or don't know..my grandfather is an important person in my life, in spirit now.. to have my Uncle Ben in my house is the closest thing to my grandfather that I can remember.. so I always am excited to see him.

I don't really have much to say actually.. feel kinda low key the past few days. Been having anxiety about the current state of my job. Been meditating on getting a new job.. and been sending out resumes/calling people.. just have to wait and see I guess. I pray it doesn't take long for an opportunity to open up.

Tonite, my sister is coming (I'm almost positive) to do hair maintenance for me. (Dyeing my hair) Ok.. I don't really have much to gab on about.. so i bid you adieu..

have a great tuesday all.
ancora imparo "i am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

Triples, copied from 'i am unfinished' blog

3 names I go (or have gone) by: Kerilyn, Ker (I love being called this.. but only by my close friends/family) Keri (I think I like being called this the least, but for those who have trouble pronouncing my name.. I'll just introduce myself as Keri)

3 Screen-names I've had: Kerilyn (since like 1993) and foxytallgirl (i've only had two.. that I can think of)

3 physical things I like about myself: My height (most of the time, except when buying pants or skirts), my hands (long fingers, nice nails most of the time) My nose piercing and tattoo.

3 physical things I dislike about myself: My overweightness, that I have big feet and can't buy cute shoes sometimes (Size 11), having sensitive teeth (sometimes an ice cream sandwich looks good)

3 things I am wearing right now: Peter's oversized white V-neck undershirt, my beautiful diamond cross necklace, undies (yes, I said undies)

3 favorite bands / musical artists:(at the moment) Buddha Bar, (can't think of just 3)

3 (of many) favorite songs: "Let's Chill" by Guy, "When you kiss me" and "Forever and for always" by Shania Twain, "Don't give up" by Peter Gabriel

3 things I want in a relationship: 1. Someone to hold my hand, instinctively, without thinking about it. 2. (Steph.. I'm stealing one of yours.. cause I love it's simplicity) Curiosity (about life, to be with another who yearns to find out what life is about) 3. A person who is aware that they too, are on a journey, and accept the "I am still learning" aspect of life.

3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to me: 1. Height (would LOVE to be with someone taller than me.. so my arm would fit nicely under his arm when we walk around), 2. Expressive eyes.. someone who can say what he feels in his eyes..without speaking 3. Brown hair, brown eyes.. nice square jaw....mmmm...

3 of my favorite hobbies/pastimes: Finding those stolen moments in life when, for just that second, everything in life is good.. and I am at peace. 2. Having an "A HA!" moment (usually with Naomi) when I can see what someone else sees about me 3. When I remember that I have yummy food in my refrigerator and I get really excited (like ingredients to make a smoothie, or chocolate covered macadamia nuts)

3 things I want to do really badly right now: 1. Stay home all day to work on cards, and commune with myself, 2. get a facial and pedicure (not at the same time) 3. Get a positive response from someone who has a job that is RIGHT up my alley

3 careers you have considered or are considering: Career Counselor at an Art School, Art Gallery Director, Greeting Card Designer, Life Coach

3 things that scare me: 1. having to work at "just a job" for the rest of my life (copied from "..unfinished" but I couldn't of said it better),2. not experiencing that mutual-ness that a relationship is.. not finding someone my intellectual equal, artistically and spiritually open minded, who craves holding my hand 3. knowing there are people in this world that work REALLY HARD to hide that they too, are scared and don't know where they are going.

3 of my everyday essentials: My faith (inclusive of meditation, my gift of clairaudience, my understanding of reincarnation and karma) , morning cup of coffee, knowing I am not alone.

3 places you want to go on vacation: Tuscany, Omega http://eomega.org/ , Fiji Islands or Hawaii (again)

3 kids' names you like: Jayden (Boy), Mija (Mia - Girl), Ferdinand (Freddie)

3 things you want to do before you die: Have someone take a nude photo shoot of me (not lude but artistic and beautiful), feel a baby moving inside me (shocked some of ya, eh?), open my Spiritual/Inspirational Store

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy: this is a hard one for me.. I can't think of one way that I'm stereotypically a boy... except I like getting sweaty? Is that one?

3 ways I am stereotypically a girl: ah.. now that's more like it.. only 3 things? ok.. 1. love sparkly things.. eye makeup.. shirts with sparklys (not overdone) glittery lotion I like to wear when I go out 2. I really enjoy wearing skirts and dresses.. would much rather wear them than shorts ANY DAY 3. I am happy that, in this lifetime anyway, being a girl lends itself to an understanding of ever changing moods; that I am not considered a failing woman to shed a tear or be overly expressive in my sentiment.. I'm grateful for that.

3 celeb crushes: I don't really have crushes on anyone.. admirations.. usually people who seem to do a good job keeping their S#!T together.. Salma Hayek, Kirsten Dunst, Jason Lee (that's who comes to mind)

3 emotionally stirring movies: ah.. easy one for me.. "Defending your life', 'The Color Purple', 'Crash', 'Life is Beautiful' shall I go on???

Things I want to do/experience on my visit w/ K

- get out of my car.. and have K run out of her house and give me a big hug.
- see her mom and give her a big hug too.
- maybe a hug from her sister Marly too.. if she's there.
- Sit at the kitchen table.. and catch up
- sit in K's room.. and look at all the new spiritual books she has.. new things she's acquired that always inspire me.
- See Dave.. who is one cool dude.. who i feel very relaxed around.. feel like things, no matter how crazy they actually are.. are going to be OK. Cucumber Dave.. that's his new name.
- play cards (Canasta... that other game K wanted to show me)
- see Jack and Simon
- go to sleep listening to the sound of the crickets outside.. sleep well.
- wake up early.. enjoy the silence.
- Morning Coffee.. catching up on some awesome magazine/book/catalog in the comfy couches of the living room.
- (maybe?) convince her mom to make french pancakes ( i don't think I can NOT ask her to make em for us (if she's available, that is).. last time, not asking was too weird. it's like tradition)
- watch a movie maybe while I enjoy another cup of coffee.
- listen to some good music.. get caught up on what jives with my ears..
- maybe? work on website a little bit.
- go have a cup of tea or coffee somewhere.. just sit and chat.. 2 cool mochachicas being 30 yr old women.. who haven't even begun the journey of getting our footing in this lifetime.
- take our camera's somewhere.. and just wander around.. not talking much.. just trying to catch the day in a moment.
- listen to a few songs on the stereo that both of us know.. and we sing along (Dee-lite maybe?)
- k say... "KER!"
- have that silly conversation (that happens every time I visit) about me going down memory lane by driving by my old house. (LOL!!!)

That's as far as I've gotten.... K? Do you want to add some stuff? What are your thoughts/wishes/ desires for the weekend?

High/Low 6.17.05

Hey there cupcakes...

Voila!!!! I blink and declare sight from these optics and become aware that the end of the work week is in full bloom. Thankfully I am feeling more expressive today....

Yesterday evening.. I had an interview.. for an interior design position.. out in Reston (45 minutes away from where I live) I left right after work, and had a good talk with the gentleman who was interviewing me.. i felt like my years of experience in design paid off in that moment, because I was able to recreate my passion for design in explaining what I enjoy about being a designer. This firm does hospitals, and schools.. and i've never done that before.. might be interesting.. He actually said that he thought I had good experience.. and that I seemed like a good designer (It was nice to hear) This morning.. in the shower.. I was thinking about it.. and I thought that if I'm going to give Interior design another chance.. it should be doing what makes me happy.. and that is hotel design. When I was showing Mr. Buzz, my interviewer, my hotel work.. my whole energy changed.... i found my passion again... so.. I will begin to look at Hospitality firms.. historically they are known for incredible amounts of overtime (unpaid) so we'll see..

After my interview I had dinner with my sister... Good time.. and GREAT piece of Chicken I had.. wow.. yummy!

Driving home... I was listening to this amazing song.. with all these great instruments... and it was cool outside.. so i opened the window.. and almost all the way home.. I danced my hand in the wind... i was really overcome with gratitude for my life.. and really tried to take it in.. it was awesome.. We are all so busy with our so called important lives.. those moment to really take in all that has happened to us.. is far and few between. I want to live in those moments more...

I had a really good meditation this morning.. I did creative visualization that that guy Corey from the gym asks me out the next time I see him and that he ends up being the man of my dreams.. Who knows.. It could happen...

Tonite I am doing freelance design... helping someone pick paint colors.. eh.. I'm charging $40.00/hr.. so we'll see how long I am there.. Tomorrow I have a job install ... gotta be downtown DC at 8:30 am.. eww.. then maybe Naomi and I will go for a bike ride.. long one?.. I would like to spend Saturday cleaning.. and sorting thru papers.. doing laundry.. dusting.. put on some good music.. burn incense.. and dance around.. Sunday I'm going to my parentals house for Father's Day.. This will be the last time we spend time together as a family before my mother's surgery.. So it's important..

Think about this... Everything that's going on in your life.. everything.. your job.. your finances.. your love life (whether good or bad) your health.. It is where it is... We worry.. non-stop.. about the future.. let's try today.. to just relax and take in today.. just today.

OH yea...finally.. someone is messing with my evite for my summer party.. and I'm NOT amused. Pretending to be someone who, has been very important to me, who is not in my life right now is NOT a funny, smart or adult-like way to do things... I don't appreciate it.. and I'm saying that if it continues.. I will then consider the future of our friendship... and I'm not kidding.. Before you judge someone.. or make light of my issues.. why don't you look at yourself.. your faults.. I am NOT putting up with it anymore... please hear me.. I'm not kidding.. if this means I lose another best friend.. and that's NOT what I want to happen.. then I will choose to accept it. You can come at me with all the intelligent banter and come backs you wish.. but until you take good stock of yourself....we are not on even playing fields... and.. I"m not kidding.. This is not going away.

Thanks all.. Have a great weekend and a great fathers day.
Kerilyn

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

High/Low 6.16.05

Hola.

Como esta? Well it's Thursday... thankfully.. I still feel a bit reserved to talk much.. I think i have so much going on... so much swimming around in my head that it's been a bit challenging to focus... Just trying to keep going.. not to over analyze much..(not an easy feat for this kerilyn girl)

Yesterday I picked up my friend Derek, and we went downtown to this really cool lounge/bar in DC for my Alumni Gathering from Savannah College of Art and Design. Side note: Derek got laid off yesterday (again, 2 times in Interior Design since he's been here... a YEAR! No, I'm not kidding.. this industry is SOO dog eat dog!!!) I didn't really know anyone personally per say.. but I recognized a few people.. chatted with a few people who remembered me (why is that? Am I that recognizable? This happens to me a lot..) It was an ok time.. they had these really good plaintain french fries.. which we're quite tasty.. I think I"d like to go back there for a few drinks.. hang out sometime..

I also went to a meeting with one of the owners of the company i happen to work for.. for a new project I was put on.. I was told this is a huge and overwhelming project (again.. my boss likes to scare me a bit) but in the meeting I completely understood and wasn't overwhelmed by the scope. I have NO Idea what's going to happen with me.. am I going to take another job... or stay and work on this 'big project".. who knows.. i feel a change in the air.. so it's just a matter of finding out what the air says to me...

I have an interview tonite.. at 6:30.. in Reston (ugh 40 minutes away from me..without traffic) Eh.. it's good experience.. I"m asking for a significant raise in salary.. and the option of working from home 2 days a week.. Eh.. what do I have to lose? nothing.

That's about it for me.. nothing really exciting going on.... I still feel quiet.. don't feel like talking to many people much...

oh well.. onward and upward..
:) kerilyn

ancora imparo "I am still learning" in Latin.

High/Low 6.15.05

Hey there senors y senorita/senoras!

How goes it? Another hot day here.. Weird.. but I don't have much to say... I feel quiet today.. introspective today... I have a lot on my plate the next few weeks.. and I am feeling a bit all over the place in my brain... the Job thing.. my mother surgery approaching, my relationship status, how to save money..how to make my dreams come true.. lol... I don't feel like fighting today.. don't feel like trying to figure things out, I don't want to talk about it today... I feel like being quiet..

So that's where I will leave this.. Have a great day...

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.14.05

Mornin ladybugs...(and gentleman bugs)

How are ya? i'm doin ok.. Tuesday morning.. I find myself without much to say today.. hmmm.. what's REALLY going on??? Well.. on the weather front.. it's hot.. and humid.. and hot. (did i already say hot? yea.. HOT!) like Sticky clothes hot. BUT.... I'd still take this over snow any day....

High: I had lunch with my girl Davina yesterday in DC... it was a spontaneous move.. I was at a few job sites and decided to call her. REALLY good popcorn shrimp.. yum! Felt REALLY good after my run yesterday.. I really do enjoy running.. I wish you could see me.. I think there's a smile on my face when I run.. well, if you can't see it.. i'm smiling on the inside.. i feel "so much myself" when i run... then.. I saw this guy.. that I used to know of.. (i didn't know him personally) when I was at West Virginia University; at the gym yesterday.. his name is Corey.. oh my, he's like 6'6" and GEORGOUS curly brown hair.. and yes.. he himself is very cute!!! pinch me i'm dreaming!! I went up to him.. asked him if he went to WVU.. and he recognized me!! We stood there and chatted.. I told him i hope I see him at the gym more.. oh my... I"m swooning. I went to the grocery store.. and stood in the aisle.. looking at one of those smutty celebrity photo gossip magazines.. such a guilty pleasure.

Low: Still stiff neck a bit.. sleeping is a bit tough.. I think i want to go to a Chiropractor/Accupuncturist.. but (ugh) I have an HMO and that means I would have to go to my primary care physician first.. get a referral.. etc.. I think I might do it anyway.. but BIG pain in the neck.. (no pun intended). Yesterday, I had a "talk" with my not so nice boss, about a new project I'm going to be undertaking starting tomorrow. Bill enjoys to tout his ego and his ability to say things that cause me to become overwhelmed (my doing of course) and I just sat there.. breathed thru our meeting.. I maintained composure.. and I think that he was a little upset by that. UGH... Aveeno/God.. TAKE ME AWAY!!!!

So.. I need to 1. get thru this day in perfect love and perfect Grace.. 2. try to laugh as much as I can 3. keep sending light to my neck for healing 3. Get REALLY excited because tonite I"m having a reading with my favorite Medium, at 6pm. I can't WAIT to hear what he has to say... I think i might go to the gym after my reading.. not sure though..

I hope you have a good day. I'll be honest with you all.. I FEEL a change coming with this job thing.. I have an interview, interior design job, on Thursday.. I feel strongly that something is goign to be changing. I could be wrong (insert 'cover my butt' notes here) but I sense a change on the horizon.

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.13.05

Howdy ya'll...

What's up? How was your weekend.. It was a very hot weekend here in the D.C. area.. very humid.. Which makes for being outside a bit sticky. Looks like we are in for no break in the foreseeable future with these high temperatures. Eh.. I'd still rather the heat than snow, any day.

High: Friday nite went to the gym.. felt really good running and doing arm workout.. Bought all the ingredients to make smoothies this week! I can't wait to make one this morning!!! Saturday nite, Kristine (sister) came down and we went to Naomi's stand up gig. She was great, getting more comfortable standing up on stage (BRAVE woman.. lights shining in your face.. unsure of when the laughter will come.. VERY brave I say) she did great! The 2 comics after her were really funny too. Yesterday, I had my first volunteering experience at the National Building Museum. I had a GREAT time! First off.. the gift shop ROCKS! Oh my.. there are SO many things I 1. want to buy and 2. want to put in my store when I have one (one day) the 2 ladies that work in the gift shop are very nice.. I enjoyed getting to know them. I really enjoyed how I felt.. helping others.. getting to know other people... I had a really great spiritual talk with one of the ladies.. After that I ran around a bit..getting dessert and wine for my friend Stephanies birthday party dinner at my friend Scotts. Went to this store called Cake Love, and bought cupcakes for dessert. yum! (yes, I cheated on the no grain) We had a GREAT evening at Scotts. He made steak.. and we sat outside in his BEAUTIFUL backyard.. the fountain.. the tiki torches... it was gorgeous~ Great talks too! Thanks Scott!!!

Low: Yea.. the low.. ugh..Saturday morning.. I turned and somehow pinched a nerve in my neck. WHOA. I was really unable to move my neck all day... it was really painful actually.. these shooting pains up and down my neck.. into my arm. oh my.. I felt a little insane.. not having any mobility in my neck.. Naomi gave me her heating pad.. it worked a bit... on Saturday nite, Naomi's friend Cherie put her hands on me.. little massage.. sent me some healing energy.. it felt a LOT better after that but I still didn't sleep very comfortably that nite. Yesterday it was a bit better.. I had some mobility back.. but not 100%.. I'm still able to move it a bit.. and I still get the shooting pains if I turn the wrong way.. UGH!!! This is not fun.

So.. haven't seen the old High/Low format in a while huh? Like this better? This low really took up a large amount of my weekend.. and made almost everything I did a bit difficult. ok.. so I have an interview on Thursday. I am having a reading with my favorite Medium tomorrow, I cannot wait! Wednesday nite.. I have an Alumni event from my School.. I might go.. I might not.. It's going to be a busy week for me.. Who know's how it will go..... off I go.. into the abyss.

Have a great week. If you think about it..w ill you say a prayer/affirmation for a rapid healing for my stiff neck. I wonder what this whole thing symbolizes.. I kept thinking.. WHAT is it that i am not supposed to be seeing. Is this a way of my body telling me not to look around too much.. to focus on what's right in front of me??? Who knows.

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.10.05

happy friday to you all..

first off i want to thank you all for your thoughts of support and prayers. It's amazing to me.. the power of group thought/prayer. I felt really comforted all day, wondering why.. I know. It's all of us together... putting our energy in something united. So thank you. Thanks to Matthew and Onyeali for their posts yesterday.. for their support, whether it's Matthew's tough love version (which i will admit made me a bit defensive yesterday when reading it.. naturally, he's hitting on some close "stuff" of mine) or Onyeali's similar experiences which yielded fruitful support.. I appreciate them all. I also got some great emails of support, my Auntie who reminded me that it really is our thoughts that manifest into physical existance.. so on one plane.. it's really my own doing that created this reality. My thoughts of not wanting to go to work, etc.. I agree Auntie.

Yesterday was an interesting day.. nothing happened... Bill basically kept quiet for the most part of yesterday.. which was unnerving seeing as how he mentioned a reassignment on Wednesday and then didn't mention a word about it yesterday. Oh well. I agree with what Matthew said yesterday, for the most part, that I haven't put forth the effort to deserve anything different than what is playing out... very true. I want to think on this this weekend more..

In the meantime.. i have an interview.. it's for an Interior Design position.. on Thursday.. it's a bit far away (Reston) but it actually felt good to get the call back right away (in previous unemployment episodes, I got NO responses for long spans of time) See.. that's where I'm conflicted... do I interview for a position I'm not really interested in.. or keep searching for something I do want. (Side note: I have, over the past year, sent my resume out to other places that is close to something I want to do.. to no avail. Not just the Corcoran. I just got a letter from the Smithsonian saying "Not interested" the other day)

Anyway.. well it's Friday.. and I'm so glad for that. Onto other subjects until I have more news:

I went to the National Building Museum yesterday, to fill out volunteer paperwork.. to get the Orientation information. I have my first volunteering opportunity this Sunday from 12-4!!! I'm psyched!!!

Not doing anything tonite, gym perhaps. Tomorrow I'm cleaning/laundry/ bike ride with Naomi perhaps.. then Naomi has a stand up gig... that will be fun! My sister is coming and it'll be good to see her! Sunday I volunteer! Then I'm going to my friend Scott's house.. he's making a birthday dinner for my friend Stephanie.. Happy Birthday Steph!!! I need to do some errands this weekend too...

So.. I hope you all have a good weekend. Stay cool!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

"Dont' ask yourself what the world needs,
Ask yourself - what makes you come alive...
And then go and do that. Because what the
world needs are people who have come alive."
- Harold Whitman (one of my fave quotes!!!)

High/Low 6.9.05

hey everyone..

ok.. so it's happening again.. yesterday, a normal day or so I would think.. toward the 2:30 hour, my boss (who I've already established is not the kindest or most sensitive man in the world) scarily calls me into his office.. and basically says that I have to start producing more revenue or there will be a "reassignment" .. I got BEAT red.. and that wave of familiarity washed over me. Oh God.. I am going to lose my job again.. for the 5th time!!!

Needless to say.. the rest of my day was shot to hell... The same thoughts that i haven't felt in quite some time.. "Why does this keep happening to me?" "What am I doing wrong?" "WHY can't I find a job that I am good at AND that I enjoy." I quickly began my search.. trying to prepare for what's to come..

This is NOT fun.

True, I have not enjoyed this business, practically from before I even accepted the job. I knew that this was just a paycheck.. but it doesn't remove the similar feelings of failure, and hopelessness.

I believe in Karma. I believe that Karma is our account balance of what we need to accomplish in this lifetime. I believe when you go thru your life and note things that happen to you over and over.. that's your Karma.. there is your challenge. Well THIS is my Karma.. 5 jobs in 6 years, I'd say is over and over...I recognize it as such, but have NO idea how to transform it so that it doesn't keep kicking me in the face (or so it feels)

So.. what to say? To me, this is a great experience to try not to fall into victim mode "whoa is me", which I realize is my Mode of Operation. Last nite at Home Depot, I found myself saying "What do I have to live for?" (Victim) and I tried to stop myself in my own tracks.. It does not feel good to me when I behave that way.. but strangely enough.. it's like a security blanket.. getting empathy from others.. and feeling comforted by being sorry for myself.

Have I wanted to leave this job? yea.. for a while now. So is this a way to push me to find something? Yes? Truth is.. I still don't know exactly what I am searching for.. my next job. Do I go back into Design? I guess that's what my experience is in.. who knows..

I meditated on it today.. I visualized myself giving my boss my 2 weeks notice.. saying this wasn't the "right fit"... God, I hope your listening to me, because I wish, RIGHT NOW, to learn whatever it is I have to learn from this NOW.. to overcome my Karma.. so I do not ever have to go thru these feelings of insecurity (literally) and doubt... and fear.

If you believe in Prayer.. will you say one for me today? I guess you can guess that my stomach is fluttering.. and I guess today will be like walking on eggshells.. and it frankly scares me.. WAY too familiar.

Anyway.. Thanks for listening.. There HAS to be a reason for all this.. for there is a reason for everything...
have a good day.
kerilyn

"If God made today perfect, he/she wouldn't of created tomorrow." - Unknown

PS: I am NOT going to stop writing because of this.. I WILL push thru this.. please, send me your thoughts of success today.. I really could use this.. Thank you.

High/Low 6.8.05

yep yep yep...

hey, how ya doin? OK, I've procrastinated enough this morning.. so I gotta type fast.. What's goin on? Anything? It's officially summer here.. in the 90's.. and humid! (eww) it's WEDNESDAY!!!

Ok.. 1. I am meeting with the woman from the National Building Museum on Thursday at 5pm to fill out paperwork.. prior to my first volunteering exploration.. on Sunday from 1-4... I'm psyched!!! (and a little nervous? why is that? hmm..gotta think on that.)

2. I went to the store where I wanted to sell my cards.. where I talked to the owner last week, sheepishly, and left (3) of my cards.. well, I went in there yesterday.. she said she loved my illustrations.. and she loved my cards but she thought they were too "deep" and that if i make them a bit lighter.. to bring them back. I completely disagree with her about the capacity for her customers to handle the depth of my cards. I wondered if she said that because I suggested her to buy my cards out right.. and not on consignment.. I drove away.. thinking "she liked my drawings" (which, is funny cause I still do not consider myself a talented artist by ANY means) but i didn't even consider the option that she would think my cards are too "deep". I want to think about it more.. I mean.. do i compromise the integrity of my cards.. just to satisfy one person.. or do I remain true to what the message of my cards say.. Is this just my ego? Anyway.. I made a bold move last nite.. I called her, left a message, saying that I was wondering if I brought the cards in, on consignment, for just a week, if she'd be interested.. who knows if she'll call back.. maybe I pushed her too far.. but what do I have to lose? exactly... nothing. relatively...

3. I was also inspired to email an artist that i admire.. who makes the most beautiful pieces of art.. www.bonesigharts.com Terri is her name.. I love her story.. and her family... and just her passion... I emailed her about if she could and would give me any advice about going to the stores.. how to approach things.. and she wrote me back!!! i'm psyched.. that I could have an experienced artist in my corner.. helping me along while I dive into the unknown.. rockin!!! Thanks Terri!!!

4. I am registered for the Digital Photography class!!! I am SO excited (and nervous??) to learn what my camera can do.. and how I can take artistic photos and such.. for 3 Saturdays in July.. i will be actually IN the Corcoran.. as a student.. and hopefully can send energy to the opportunity for me to eventually work there...

5. I also submitted my resume for an Assistant Registrar Position at the Corcoran... Is it exactly what i want to do? no.. but it could be a way in... I wrote a nice little letter to the woman who i had a meeting with.. back in October.. about how I'm not giving up on the future possibility of me being a part of the Corcoran. She wrote back saying that she enjoyed meeting me and my continued interest.. we'll see..

6. Naomi and I went on a bike ride last nite.. I am really getting to enjoy going bike riding.. i didn't want to go to the gym and push my ankle.. so the bike ride was perfect! We stopped off at the Animal Shelter.. I visited all the kitties.. oh.. I want ALL the kitties!!!! I wish Pez would be receptive to another kitty.. (uh no.. she's an only child/kitty.. and i'm SURE likes it that way)

Want to suggest a really good book to ya'll.. Now I'm into meditation.. which facilitates this more easily I'm guessing.. but i"m sure you could do creative visualizations in your car, on the metro, etc.. http://www.soulfulliving.com/creative_visualization.htm "As you think.. so shall you be"

Ok.. eek.. gotta go get ready!!! Have a great day!!!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.7.05

Hey there folks..

What's up? First off.. got a comment about if i'm a homebody.. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a homebody.. Do I enjoy going out partying till all hours of the night? No. Am I home all the time too? No. I think I could probably be more adept at hitting the night life.. but it doesn't really "do" anything for me. I'd say i'm a pretty busy lady.. going to the gym.. going out with friends to dinner and such... Isn't a homebody someone that doesn't really like to do much of anything, besides being home? Anyway.. I hope that answers whoever posted that comment...

Ok.. first off.. this morning.. around midnight the thunder came in.. and the flashes of lightning SO intense that it seemed like i have paparazzi right outside my window.. Wow.. it was intense! It was beautiful to see and hear.. and at the same time.. a little unnerving. It lasted an hour.. and boy.. I'm sure the whole neighborhood was up... some of that thunder was loud.. whoa..

Yesterday I got a call from the Corcoran.. they opened up another section of the Basic Digital Photography class.. and I am registering today! Woo hoo! I am SO excited to learn how to use my camera more proficiently.. and take more artistic pictures. For 3 Saturdays in July.. I will be a student again.. I haven't been a student in a while.. it will be nice, I hope.

It seems to me, that things in the creative realm of my life are moving. It feels really good.. having my little studio.. and volunteering.. and digital photo class..i'd like to go talk to that lady today about whether she is interested in my cards.. fingers crossed.

I went to the gym last nite.. ran a mile and half.. felt SO good.. did arm workout...

Unfortunately though.. I tripped on my own feet yesterday and ended up with a swollen ankle.. it's still a bit tender today.. but i've been praying for healing.. and talking to my ankle.. it actually feels a bit better.. I know.. I probably shouldn't of run on it.. but I didn't exercise all last week.

I think I'm going with Peter this evening to Baltimore, to eat Sushi.. it's his friend JJ's Birthday and Peter invited me along.. I am actually looking forward to it. (Side note: Just talked to Peter.. JJ wants it to be just the 2 of them.. I'm a little dissapointed.. but oh well.. I'll get over it.)

Ok .. off to work. Hope you all have a good day!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

"It is not possible to blaze new trails and forge your own path while remaining on familiar ground." - Suzanne Falter Barns
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.6.05

Hey folks,

How ya doin? How was your weekend? Mine was WAY too short! I think I blinked 3 times and found myself at Sunday evening... yesterday was officially the warmest day of the year so far, whew, in the 90's?

Had a good weekend.. came up with another greeting card, went out to see my parents Saturday nite, ended up going to my sister's friend's wedding reception. Yesterday, I hung out with my friend Lyle, we walked around Old Town Alexandria for a couple hours, enjoyed hours of debating topics over lunch, got ice cream, I don't see Lyle very often, it was good to catch up with him..

I bought this awesome shirt.. there is this line of clothing called 'Life is Good' www.lifeisgood.com I bought this awesome shirt that says "Not all who wander are lost." I LOVE it! It makes me feel good wearing it. Truth is.. I am a wanderer.. and lost sometimes too.. but I'm not lost in knowing that I'm wandering.. and that makes a big difference to me.

I got an email back from the career counselor.. I will call him today.. in the hopes of seeing if he could help me find resources to get the job that i really want. I want to, by the end of the week, do 3 things that will facilitate me having a new job in a short amount of time. I would LOVE to have something new by next week. I feel good and motivated to search out for someone to help me help others..

I saw a bit of this program by Dr. Wayne Dyer, http://www.drwaynedyer.com/home/index.cfm
on PBS, called 'The Power of Intention'. It totally empowered me.. which is why I am ready to find something better suited for me.

I will be getting back to the gym this week... and this weekend is my first experience volunteering at the National Building Museum.. this sunday from 12-4. yea! I can't wait. I have to go to the NBM this week to fill out paperwork.. yea!

Have a great day ya'll.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 6.2.05

Howdy..

ok, before i go further.. check out my current pictures I've shared with ya'll. Down on the left, a list of my postings.. all postings that don't start with "High/Low ...." is a photo/drawing/etc.. I'm enjoying this posting my pics :) makes me happy.

My day.. well work was as you probably expected... had a company wide meeting at the warehouse.. so i got to leave work around 2:30.. which was good, I guess. But.. on a 'making strides' note.. I wrote this guy who gives career counselling advice in DC. Maybe I should pursue that.. get some professional advice as to how to go about my yearning to help others with their careers... eh.. couldn't hurt. I go to these job seeking websites.. and I"m like.. "What do i look for?" What can i do that I"m qualified for?" that's where I'm stuck.. it's not like I don't want to put the work into getting another job.. TRUST ME.. I know the process of looking for jobs.. but usually when I'm knowing what I"m looking for.. we'll see where this lead will take me.

Matthew left today :( it was great having him here.. If i wasn't feeling under the weather i'm sure i would've had an even better time... I think the Bike ride downtown was my favorite thing we did..

I made a KICKIN smoothie tonite.. banana's, strawberries, and yogurt.. YUM!!! OK.. so now that i found my new thing.. I"m going to be a smoothie making MACHINE!!!

I also have been doing some research into stores in the DC/VA area that I will talk to about selling my cards.. I found 2 so far that I think fit the bill..I will call them and see if I can make an appt to come in this weekend to discuss.. I GOTTA get moving on this..

Sitting in my PJ's, enjoying the evening's silence.. i love moments like these... and ya know what??? TOMORROW is FRIDAY!!! What a BLESSING!!! I have NO plans this weekend (uh..cards kerilyn!!)

Ok.. so the finale of the evening is this wonderful pondering... that made the hair on my arms stand up.. SO beautiful!!! Enjoy and talk to you soon!!!

"If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth ... for understanding. Too often, we assume that the light on the wall is God, but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the sense of revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does not search--who does not bring a lantern--sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light ... pure and unblemished ... not understanding that it comes from us. Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the center of the universe--God looks astonishingly like we do--or we turn to look at our shadow and assume that all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty and in all its flaws; and in so doing, better understand the world around us. " - G'Kar

oh my.. makes me want to cry...
love you all.
Ancora Imparo.
Kerilyn

Here is my newly created "studio" in my basement where I can now sit for hours and make cards..(just thought i'd share) 

So after all these years, I still don't have a wonderful pic of Matthew and I.. this is the closest I've got.. this past Saturday nite.  

High/Low 6.1.05

Happy June to you all!

Well it's a new month.. and 1/2 the year to go! Who KNOWS what will happen?? TONS of things could and most likely will happen.. some of them we will want.. and others.. well we could do without. It really is about the small moments... that make life so exquisite.. like tonite.. I came home.. made dinner for Matthew and I.. and he left to go with Naomi to go to DC Improv (Naomi is hopeful to have a spot at the Improv in Sept.. I am 99% sure it's going to happen!) so i'm here.. all by myself.. ** note to self: Why is it that I appreciate my home more when someone is visiting and leaves for a few moments? It's not like i'm not totally enjoying Matthew being here.. but I also enjoy the silence.. of being by myself.. it's an interesting comparison. anyway.. it's not even 9 yet and I've already made coffee for tomorrow.. and straightened up the place.. Matthew did my dishes for me today (like the BEST gift a girl can get when she doesn't have a dishwasher!!)

Check out your horoscope for June www.astrologyzone.com (if your into that sorta thing)

My day was uneventful for the most part.. still not feeling up to par.. so It was a quiet day for me. I kept to myself.. got my work done. Matthew and I went for pho for lunch. yum.

I got a phone call from the man I left my resume with last week at the Corcoran.. Well, i got a voice mail from his secretary... said that he got my letter/resume.. and he's interested.. (i bout jumped out of my seat when I heard that) but right now there's nothing available.. (oh.. buzzkill) and they'll "keep me on file" (ugh.. the kiss of death) until something comes up. ( or I get thrown into the abyss of others who also yearn to work at the Corcoran too.)

no word from the lady from the Store.. about my cards yet. oh well.. fingers crossed there.

I think I"m going to start this project next week.. called www.photofriday.com where every friday you get a topic..t hen you have a week to submit your photo. My girl Kyra got into the illustration version of this weekly creative birthing.. So I might give it a whirl.. strarting this upcoming week.

Can you believe it's already Thursday!! Thank the Lord (No, really. Thank them!)
Anyway my peeps in the jeeps.. You have a lovely evening..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn