High/Low 5.31.05 Evening Edition

hey..

How was your first day back? All you were anticipating? nah... I didn't think so...

Well my day was alright.. felt out of sorts.. from the coughing i couldn't stop that woke me up.. to trying to meditate to no avail.. seeing some HORRIBLE pictures of me that Matthew took this weekend (WHOA) ... I dropped off my cards at the store... I was not on top form.. acted a bit shy and not confident.. i was quite dissapointed in myself.. oh well. we'll see what she says.. i went to the Dr.. waited in the exam room for almost an hour.. for her to tell me I have a 'summer cold' Ugh.. yea. Drove back home with this intense drive to cut out all that is not helpful or bearing any positive fruit in my life.. and get started working on me.. almost ruthlessly. Naomi, Matthew and I went to go see the movie 'Hitch' this evening.. made me sad, i mean.. it was a good movie.. if your realistic that it's Hollywood.... and make believe. I guess I'm feeling a bit angry.. which hopefully will turn into drive.. and I will get off my ARSE and stop over analyzing stupid stuff... OOOH.... I gotta turn that frown upside down and get going with my life.. i mean.. WHO is going to do it for me? NOONE. just little 'ol me. STOP

And yes. I am going to work tomorrow. (I say with a positive inflection.)

I'm going to bed... so nighty nite.. cough cough...
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.31.05

Ok.. so i can't deny it any more.. I'm sick.

I am not going into work today.. going to the Doctor instead. I have to take care of myself. The funny part is, i talked to my aunt yesterday. I told her that I don't want to go to work tomorrow; she said that my body is listening to me. yea.. i agree. i've been saying that a lot, that I don't want to go to work, and I guess she's right... my body said "well, ok... "

So if you want to/need to get a hold of me... I'm home today. (Well, unless I'm at the Dr)

don't have much else to say today but .....cough cough.

Kerilyn

PS: yea.. last nite i went to sign up for the digital photography class... it's full. Sad Kerilyn. I'm going to call them today to see if I can put myself on a waiting list, in case someone cancels.. but I guess I'll have to wait to take the next class. Poo.

High/Low 5.30.05

Namaste my little lotus blossoms...

So.... how goes your holiday weekend so far? It's Monday morning.. and I thought I'd share with you all what's up and what's down.. this overcast Memorial Day.

Is it sad that I am already thinking that I don't want to go to work tomorrow? I still have an entire day to do with what I want, but I still have that nagging feeling inside my brain saying.. "Ugh.. work tomorrow." oh well. it is what it is..

Matthew came Friday nite.. he, Naomi and I went to Outback (YUM!) and caught up.. Saturday I gave readings at Chapel.. (felt really good too.. I was "on") and then Matthew and I hung out... we then got ready and made our way to Peter's restaurant.. TenPenh. www.tenpenh.com (for those who haven't been there with me.. yet) It was a delicious meal (as always) and good conversation. We were full!

Side note (BIG side note) I can't deny it any longer.. I've been praying.. talking to my body but I am sick. I have whatever i had back in February, on a lesser scale. Head congestion, ears clogged, fever comes and goes.. coughing.. coughing.. I am dissapointed because when I'm feeling under the weather.. it takes more energy to talk.. to be mobile.. I feel kinda sad that Matthew has had a more quiet version of me this weekend. I know he might say he doesn't mind.. but i do. I truly enjoy his presence.. and this stinks! What bad timing!

Yesterday, we went to see this INTENSE movie, CRASH http://www.crashfilm.com/ Basically about racial stereotypes. whoa. I highly recommend it.. but it's an emotionally charged movie.. just so you know.

I thn took a 3 hr nap.. I haven't taken a nap in a long time. I wish I had the time to take more naps. It felt really good. Pez was laying next to me. So nice. I also wish that i would've woken up feeling 100% healed, but no such luck. (end at 8:30AM)

It's now 6pm.. Matthew and I took a long bike ride into Old Town.. got ice cream and did a bit of people watching.. and wrote back. To me.. doing what we did is my idea of the PERFECT day (if it was a little sunnier would've rated an A++! I am actually feeling a bit better now.. after the ride. I hope this healing continues..

A little sad today.. can't seem to wrap my hands around feeling confused at where I am in my life. My self created road blocks.. to my success. Been thinking about it a lot. In Old Town.. I saw a lot of couples.. walking along, holding hands.. it makes me sad that I can't seem to find someone who wants to do that with me (pity party? yes.) But onward I go.. into this great abyss..

Anyway.. I hope you had a good holiday weekend.. Till we speak again.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

A wow thought: Surrender

Hey ya'll. I get these amazingly inspiring words once a week.. and I wanted to share this one with you. I hope you get from it what I hope I got. Dont' forget to read my High/Low from 5.29.05. Life is not exactly what you might wish. It is often more glorious than that. It is often more challenging than that. But it is not a duplication of your mental images. It is what it is. Accept it. Surrender to it.

This moment is as it is. In this moment, you may set forces into play which will affect the next moment, but you cannot change what is right now. In this moment, life has brought you what it has brought. And you must accept things as they are right now in order to have an effect on how they will be tomorrow.

Do not fight life. Instead, learn to know the flows and currents and use them to your advantage.

Think of yourself as floating on a great river. The river flows and you are afloat upon it. You may dip your hand down as a tiller and influence the direction you are heading. You may, in moments of great focus and determination, begin swimming vigorously across the river and influence which fork of the river you will take, perhaps avoiding some rapids which you can dimly hear over the river’s roar.

But the current of life and time is stronger than you are, and you cannot swim against it, trying to stay in one place or trying to go backwards to where you were or wished to be. If you spend your life doing this, you will only exhaust yourself to no avail. And you will miss the opportunity to position yourself in the river for the next things which are moving toward you.

If you spend too much time facing backwards, fighting to regain what you believe you have lost, you may be caught completely off guard by the rapids and the waterfall which are lying ahead in the quickly-moving river of life.

Surrender. Do what you can, take strokes across and down the river when you care to and when you have the strength and agility, but do not fight your life.

Right now, this is. Next moment, that will be. But within each moment, accept what is and then influence what will be.

And when you are caught in the rapids, when you are in the middle of the raging river, surrender to the current. Feel it. Know it. Go deep and feel and know the river. Surrender to the connection, the flow, to your intuitive sense which will guide you along, through the rocks, down the waterfall, on to the place of safety which lies ahead after the rapids have dissipated their force. Trust yourself to get through it. Trust the help which is around you, the angels which are there whispering to you, helping to guide you through.

And then, when you have made it through and are again floating along for a nice calm stretch of river, surrender to the beauty and wonder of life. Congratulate yourself for having met the challenges, drift lazily for a while, then look around, see what is happening and move again into alert awareness and oneness with what is.

Do not waste your energies on wishing things were different. Do not dissipate your energies in an attempt to fight against what is. The river is. Life is. It flows and changes and you flow and change with it.

The more you learn about its flow, the more you learn to become one with it, feeling its rhythms, connecting with its flows, the more peace will come your way. And you will find that you can even find peace within the rapids, you can even find peace when the storm rages and the lightning sings out across the skies. Even the pelting rain will fill you with peace because you will understand its connection to the river, how the rain and the storm , the peace and the rapids, the flowing and storming and being are all one, are all a part of who you are and what is, what simply is in the glorious adventure of life.

Surrender. Let it be. In this moment, go deeply into what is. Find within it the love and the peace which are yours. Pull them out and mix them with that deep joy which flows down to you from your own higher self. No matter what is happening, no matter what the circumstances of your life, you can find peace, deep inside, a peace which is the flowing love of the river, the flowing peace of the river, the connection and oneness which is you.

For you are the river and the river is love. You are one with all that is, as it flows and becomes. You are. Accept this with love. You are, and you are one with all else that is. Be one in the flow. Surrender to the flow. Know it as you, and know it as love.

Let it be. Let it be in peace. Let it be in love.

High/Low 5.27.05

Howdy partners!

How's it goin w/ ya'll? It's friday.. WOO HOO! I am so grateful for that! AND.. on top of that.. 1. it's a 3 day weekend (a plus!) and 2. my best friend Matthew is visiting!!! (a bigger plus!) What a GREAT way to look forward to the day.. to actually get thru it is to know what's on the other side!

I have a dentist appt this afternoon too.. and I wanted to go visit that lady with the store I want to sell my cards at.. I hope I can get back from my dentist appt in time to catch her at the store. I'm a little nervous about that... well, i'm a little nervous about meeting her.

I feel a little better.. I can so tell my body is in full defense mode with whatever this bug is I have.. cause I get waves of fever and ear ache but then it goes away.. The throat feels better... that's a plus when I have to keep my mouth open for the dentist this afternoon.

This weekend.. I am giving readings at Chapel from 10-2 tomorrow, then Matthew and I will do something.. looks like it's going to rain (poo) on Saturday.. I'd definately like to get a bike ride or two in there this weekend.. then he and i have reservations at Peter's restaurant, TenPenh at 8pm. Matthew's never been there.. so that should be fun. Sunday , who knows, and Monday who knows.

This weekend I want to accomplish 2 things: I want to get my girl Kyra and I tickets for this AWESOME concert in October, at Radio City Music Hall in NYC! I've been waiting for them to go on tour for a LONG time! AND.. I want to sign up for the Digital Photography class at the Corcoran.

Ok all.. I wish you a wonderful holiday weekend. Do something fun! Have a Bar-B-Que.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

"Aim for success not perfection... Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person."- Dr. David Burns

High/Low 5.26.05

Hey there my little lovebugs..

What's shakin? It's Thursday.. one more day!!! Then we have a 3 day weekend! Rockin! Ok.. got a lot on my mind.. so let me start..

I have been feeling this week like my body is coming down with something.. had a slight sore throat on monday and this morning.. ep, it's still there. Actually getting a little worse. I decided not to run last nite.. and was actually in bed by 8:15, a bit restless (got a lot on my mind) tossed and turned a bit until 9. but still, 9 o'clock! It was still light out.. It felt good to get a good 9 hours... and, I slept thru the night.. didn't wake up like i normally do, so that's good too. I wish I woulda woken up feeling 100% but no such luck. oh well..

So.. yesterday, on the way back from a job site.. I just HAPPENED to drive by the Corcoran College of Art and Design. And.. to my surprise.. there just HAPPENED to be a parking spot right in front at that very moment.. So, I stopped. I wrote a letter to the gentleman who I interviewed with, back in December, and although I haven't heard back from him, I like to check in to let him know I'm still interested in becoming either the Assistant to the Director of Alumni, or a part of the Career Services Center. I wrote a letter in the car, expressing my continued interest, and I attached a copy of my resume. He unfortunately was on vacation, so It was good I wrote the letter.. I PRAY that my resillance pays off.. I meditated on it mostly this morning. I keep having a GREAT visualization of me going into my current boss and saying "Um, no need to wave my job in my face, I give you my 2 weeks notice". OOH! I can't WAIT to do that!!!!!!

Please say a prayer for me, that Mr. John Dickson, at the Corcoran, sparks some interest in pursuing me as an employee. Thanks ya'll! There's power to prayer.

I also called the store where I want to sell my cards.. the owner of the store will be in tomorrow (Friday) afternoon, so I'm going to go over there to give her my letter and cards after work. I realize that if she's interested (fingers crossed!) that this will mean a lot of work on growing my card line.. and making more of the existing cards that i have.. but truly.. I am ready!!! I need something to help push me in that direction a bit, and her interest would be just that!

Oh.. and finally... last but certainly not least. There is this guy that I like a lot.. we have a strong connection.. and unfortunately the timing is not right (or something) so we decided we're going to try to remain friends.. I am having a tough time with this... i like him.. and this situation is representational of my bigger picture.. which is.. my yearning to be with someone.. So this touches on my "stuff". It makes me sad cause I think the potential of he and i is definately there.. I will continue to remain faithful that I am still being prepared for the right person to come along.. I quote one of my favorite affirmations called "God's plan for your mate" (for those non-spiritual people.. please bear with me)

(from Gods perspective) "...I love you my child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me- exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing- one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best.

Please allow Me to bring it to you. You must keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I am taking care of you. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you... you must wait. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I have given them. Don't look at things you think you want. You just keep looking off away up to Me or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then when you are ready I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream.

You see, until you are ready, I am working even now this minute to have both of you ready at the same time- But until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me which is perfect love."

I just love this.. I've had this in my repetoire since i was 18... I try to remember this.. (sometimes I forget) ANYWAY... I"m off to work... thanks for listening everyone...

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.25.05

Howdy folks..

how's it goin? Well, it's Wednesday.. of course I do not want to go to work today.. Surprise Surprise. It's still overcast and dreary outside.. but I'll try to look on the bright side. I swear I overheard my boss saying he was going to be out today.. which would be a blessing and a half.

The interesting thing about my feelings toward my boss is. WHY do I place my self worth in the hands of someone who is a SEVERE pessimist, about life, and faith. Why do I concern my feelings with someone who is not interested in seeing the beauty that life is? Why is my personal success somehow tied in to whether or not my boss is being nice toward me. He is really not a happy person in general.. and I should not concern myself of his thoughts. I ask God to please remove me from this job as quickly as they can.. (easy way out) or to help me become a stronger person by learning to not be affected, to see Bill (my boss) as someone who's hurting and maybe I can be a vehicle for his healing. Hmm.. part of me just wants to say "Eh.. screw Bill... he doesnt' care for me.. why should i care for him?" but the bigger part of me knows that we are all one.. and if I am able to pray for Bill.. then I am praying for myself too. Ugh.. this is a difficult one for me.

I guess I'm kinda down today, you know when you can tell your body doesn't feel well? I had a hint of a sore throat yesterday.. that went away.. this morning it's back.. I can kinda sense that my body wants to get sick.. but I pray it doesn't.

Good meditation this morning.. toward the end I went really deep. I love when that happens.

ok.. I say "God Grant me the Serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." - Unknown

into my day I go. Wish me luck!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.24.05 Evening Edition

Doobeedoo bee doo ya'll!!!!

How are you? How was your day? Well.. it's 8:30 pm.. and i'm in the mood to write ya! I couldn't wait till tomorrow to express my excitement at my volunteer opportunity at the National Building Museum. I met with the Volunteer coordinator, who was tres cool.. (maybe we could be friends even) and met the other ladies that I'm going to work with in the gift shop (the COOLEST gift shop in all the museums in DC!) For being a volunteer, I get a complimentary membership to the museum, all the mailings of all the new exhibits coming out.. 20% off the shop! (*HELLO!!! BIG plus!!!) She asked me if I want to help in the evenings too.. during the week sometimes.. i say HECK YEA! I want to be surrounded more by people of like minds.. and this.. is EXACTLY that! I'm telling ya.. the building itself is a piece of art! (Can you tell I'm excited???)

Then I went to the gym.. ran a mile and a half.. I cannot express to you all how I really enjoy running. I put my earphones on (poo that my batteries ran out this time but I was in a flow.. so it didn't matter) and i get in this meditative like zone where I just go inside my head.. It's awesome! I love feeling my body moving.. Now.. let me clarify something.. since I've had some confusion in my past with this. I am now at a 13 minute mile.. SO.. technically this is jogging. But it feels like running to me.. so I'll say it's running. My friend from WVU, Heather, she can run a mile in less than 5 minutes.. now THAT'S running!!!

My boss was in a VERY POOPY mood today.. and being that It's "girl time" (sorry fellas, but I gotsta speak the truth) I'm a little more sensitive.. and his RUDE and INSENSITIVE attitude just got to me today! I even asked him if he was upset with me where he replied "Should I be?" and just stared at me. My face got all red.. UGH!!! sorry.. I know that he's probably got something going on, that's causing him to have a bad day but COME ON!!! Do you HAVE to put on a show like this? It annoys me to NO END.. that I have YET come across a decent boss. But here's the kicker... for the past few weeks now.. both myself and my co-worker Barbara has caught my boss, Bill, playing computer games for HOURS!!!! whoa.. What is he so poopy at me for? Is he getting a low score on solitaire?

Another good thing.. I spoke to my Auntie today.. very briefly.. which was a nice surprise!

OH yea.. Remember my boyfriend Wyatt? My little baby buddy that I bequeathed as my boyfriend? Yea.. he's 2 years old now.. and MAN is he big!!! His mom and my dear friend Autumn, sent me some pictures of him yesterday! Wow.. time flies!!!

K.. I'm off to relax.. nighty nite!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

High/Low 5.24.05

Hiety ho my lovelies!

how ya doin? i'm doin alright.. a bit tired today.. i stayed up till 11 last nite to watch the season finale of 'medium'. I coulda went to bed, cause I have Tivo, but I got sucked into the story and stayed up. It's very overcast and chilly out today.. and they say it's going to rain most of the day.. Seems like the saying should now be May showers bring June's heat waves.

Last nite I ran about a mile and a half. Ran for 20 minutes (yea.. i'm not that fast) but i felt great! Listened to this awesome song.. with a good beat.. and had flashbacks of running in Savannah and West Virginia.

This afternoon I meet with the volunteer coordinator of the National Building Museum to discuss my soon to be volunteer opportunity! I'm psyched! I'm so happy to be doing this!

Hmm... what's on my mind? Sorry to say this.. but my stinky job is on my mind.. I know I say this all the time.. but I don't like my job. This feeling is growing more and more every day. My boss, plays mind games, trys to scare me... like the other day.. he was talking about my review (being there a year already.. EWW) and I was joking with him saying.. "Do I get an anniversary gift?" he said.. 'yea.. you get to keep your job." He KNOWS (cause I've told him) that I've been laid off a few times.. Why would he say those kinda things? Cause i know he likes the fact that he has power over me.. Ugh.. and he uses it to try to push me around. I can't WAIT for the day when I go in there and say.. "um, SEE YA! I guess I didn't WANT to keep my job."

I JUST can't figure out where to look for something different. When I sit here, at the computer, trying to job search, I"m thinking.. "What can I look for that I"m qualified to do?" Seems the only thing I'm qualified to do, is be an Interior Designer. Sigh.. it boggles me.

Anyway.. let me end on a good note.. My only real friend at work, Barbara, is going to come over on Friday to see my place. I'm excited cause I've been talking about my new little studio in the basement.. and I'm psyched to show her!

OK.. enough talk about this job. You all have a great day.. Let's all try to get thru another groundhog week, k?

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

PS: I HAVE to check flights and schedule a trip down to Atlanta soon. My good friends Liz, and Matthew just bought their first home, and I have to go down and see!!! Congrats you two!!! Happy Birthday Matthew!!

High/Low 5.23.05

hey all.. ugh.. it's Monday and I DO not want to go to work this morning..

Sigh. oh well.. gotta get over it cause I need to pay my bills somehow.

Anyway.. i hope you had a good weekend.. I had a great one.. felt really relaxed this weekend.. I don't remember the last time I felt so relaxed. Nothing to do.. just hang out...I started on a new card last nite.. gotta play around with it a while.

Naomi and I went on a bike ride yesterday! I LOVED it! I want to ride more this coming spring/summer! I loved being able to move around.. take in the sights.. and get exercise. Speaking of exercise.. I NEED to get back on the band wagon.. starting today.. with the exercising and not cheating! My sister is looking SOOOO good.. I can't slack off.. I need to tap into her enthusiasm to get to the gym.

Ok.. I"m making this one short, seeing as how i'm running late for work. ooh.. one last time.. I do not want to go to work today. I do not enjoy my job... I'm still looking for something else.. and that's all I can do until something else comes along.

So with that said... I bid you adieu..

OH yea.. My best friend Matthew is talking about coming down next weekend.. for Memorial Day!!! That would make me SO happy to get to hang out with him a few days... AND.. most of us have monday off.. so that'll be an extra day to do something fun! Yea!

Try to have a great day!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

PS: I want to thank everyone for their awesome comments on my cards!! Thank you for believing in me.. it means more than I can express. Namaste.

So you all have a face with a Name.. THIS is my best friend, Naomi. My kindred spirit in this incarnation. 

High/Low 5.22.05

Hey..

It's a beautiful Sunday morning, and I'm not in a rush to write you all so I thought I'd sit down, with my cup of coffee at 10am.. and say hey. It's been a glorious weekend so far, weather wise.. I do not think I've seen a cloud in the sky yet!

So.. what's up? Anything exciting? If so, send me a note..

I feel so good to be writing you all again.. I like my non-high/low format format.. it makes me feel like I don't have to scan my brain for either high's or low's... but just what is.

So I didn't go to the art gallery manager interview yesterday. I talked to the owner of the gallery and he was saying that this really is a sales job.. going out and trying to get people to buy art (sales.. eek!) and that the gallery isn't doing that good right now. I appreciated his honesty and decided to pass. Oh well, i wasn't in the mood to get dressed up and drive down to DC anyway..

Last nite my sister, Kristine and Naomi and I had a little bar-b-que... it was really nice.. Corona's and Frozen Daiquiris... So nice to not have anything to do yesterday.. not have to be anywhere.. My dad was over most of yesterday, finishing up with the insulation in Naomi's attic! YEA!

In a little bit.. Naomi and i are going to go for a bike ride.. such a nice day to go for a ride. And then I'm going to work on my cards.. have a few ideas for some new cards. I talked to my best friend Matthew last nite.. he gave me good advice about instead of mailing the cards to the woman who owns the little store.. to go in there myself.. so she can get a feel of who I am) I think I'm going to summon my courage and do it! Thanks Matthew babe.. you rock.

Ok.. well I'm off to get ready for my bike ride. I hope your all having a good day.. If you get a moment, check out my other cards.. and a pic I put on here.. on the left hand side.. you'll see "here is my "a baby in there" card" click on it and it'll open u up to my cards/pics.. I've been playing around with adding pics..

Ok.. Talk to you all lata!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." - Friedrich Nietzsche

My girl Kyra and I in San Francisco, back in Sept, 2003. (wow, K! That Long ago?) 

Here is my "a baby in there" benchmark.. Let me know what you think 

Here is my "saw this book" benchmark card. Let me know what you think... 

High/Low 5.20.05

Hey all...

Well it's here.. it's friday. thankfully. It is a beautiful, balmy, overcast and rainy day. Your probably thinking.. it's beautiful? I think it is.. there's something about rainy days like today.. listening to the rain hit the leaves on the trees.. the darkness caused by the clouds hiding the sun.. puts us all in a more tranquil and peaceful frame of mind. Perfect for nice long nap, with the window cracked open so you can be lulled to sleep by the sound sound of the rain. Now would i enjoy this every day, no. But for today, it's nice. If you listen close enough.. you can actually hear the trees saying thank you for the rain.

Ok lots has happened.. the wireless internet system was set up yesterday, and for a few minutes, I have wireless internet. It was AWESOME!!! SO much faster! I felt so high tech, compared to the dial up speed i've been on. It is such a great step in the direction I want to go with making my goals come true. Unfortunately, the wireless signal doesn't quite make it to Naomi's router, so I have to exchange parts for something that will allow me to have a strong signal. Hopefully this weekend, we'll see.

I got a phone call yesterday, i had sent my resume to this art gallery, they were looking for an Art Gallery Manager. Well the owner called, I have an interview on Saturday at 2pm. I was SO excited when i got the phone call, then I looked at his original posting for what he is looking for. This job is only part time, and don't be too shocked when i say, that he's offering $7.00/hr. Uh.. no way Jose.. I've been toying with cancelling the interview but I'm not sure.. it could be a good opportunity to get some practice, see what Art Galleries are looking for. Who knows.. But it is exciting. My first bite toward something closer to what I'm looking for.. something inspiring and creative!

I watch this religious program every morning.. while I drink my coffee.. and some good words this morning about changing "being bitter or being better" I don't want to be bitter because of the things that have happened to me... I do believe that things happen over and over so we can learn from them and I want to learn! I want to reap the rewards of sowing some positive seeds in my life. And feeling resentful and bitter is NOT the way to receive the reward. So I will actively take action to sow more seeds.. to harvest the best results.

Anyway ya'll. i wish you a great day! OH yea.. I"m attaching 2 more of my cards. I'm sending that letter to the lady who owns the store today.. goingto give her 3 cards.. to look at. fingers crossed!

Have a blessed weekend.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

High/Low 5.19.05

hey there my little string beans!

what's goin on? Gosh I wish it was Friday... (I think I say that every Thursday...lol) Sigh.. I am in need of some mental rest..

OK.. where am I? I feel like I need to make a better schedule for myself.. I think I am not spending enough time with me. Not taking enough time to exercise, and am deciding to do other things (like eat) when I should be running... I am frustrated by my weaning interest in exercising.. I have been challenged lately with sitting still, with enjoying my life. I tend to keep looking toward the future.. in hopes to try to figure it all out, well, the truth is, I can't figure it out. I feel like I want to stop trying. I kinda feel like being alone.

Ok.. so I decided.. I am taking a hiatus from dating. I figure there is NO sense in wasting my own precious time and energy giving my thoughts, my feelings and my spirit to someone who will decide in the end that I am not what they want.. blah blah... or... they don't understand why they themselves behave the way they do. It's so damn tiring. I have decided today, to resort to just meditating on it every morning..doing creative visualizations for the relationship I desire to make itself present in my life. I am not wanting to take an active role for the time being. There is a BIG part of me that realizes that JUST YESTERDAY, I wrote about how there's a part of me that doesn't love who i am.. well I want to stride to figure out why I don't love me.. and figure out how i can learn to love that part that I don't like... I feel a little angry.. because I've never really experienced what I desire.. someone to hold my hand.. stimulate my mind, and be interested in my faith, and what i'm trying to create for my life... and I want it so badly I am angered at the fact that I CANNOT figure out why I am seemingly prohibited from what I desire. WHAT am I doing wrong? I know that it's my karma.. that I wrote this.. to learn something.. well damn it.. I'm on a mission to figure this out cause I NEED to break this pattern once and for all. My longing to experience what i desire gets stronger every day.. and my realistic opportunitity for this happening becomes more unclear and more unclear as I proceed to get older.

ENOUGH of the depressing thoughts... Exciting news!!! Tonite the Tech guy that set up Naomi's wireless internet system is coming over to set mine up!! YEA!!! I can't wait!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant all, this is my life.. and this is where I'm at today.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

A word about Spinach and Pine nuts

I am sitting here at my computer at work.. and I got a hunkerin to eat a big bowl of Sauteed Spinach in Garlic and Olive Oil.. with roasted Pine nuts. Oh my.. thinking about it makes me VERY happy.. I have been hooked on Spinach w/ Pine nuts for a while. .. Naomi got me hooked..

Oh my gosh.. Spinach and Pine nuts.

There is this Lebanese Restaurant.. that I like to go to.. their salads have pine nuts in them. I always get an extra hit of pine nuts.. Oh my..

I like Spinach and Pine nuts. Just wanted to share that with you all. I'm salivating!

I think I am a nut!

High/Low 5.18.05

yellow!

what's shakin? i find myself tired again today.. i don't know why.. i got 7 hrs of sleep. Weird.

yea! exciting news! I got a hold of the woman at the National Building museum yesterday.. I volunteered to help in the gift shop every 2nd Sunday of each month from noon to 4pm. I am SO excited! She also needs help with public programs, which occur in the evenings during the week but I can sign up for them when I want to. YEA! for those who have never been to the gift shop at the NBM.. it's AWESOME! All these beautiful books on design and architecture, all these interesting chatchkas.. LOVE it! Next Tuesday, I go to meet the volunteer coordinator, to meet the other people who work in the gift shop! YEA! So psyched!

Now I gotta sign up for the Digital Photography class, make those 3 cards to send to that lady who owns the store I want to sell my cards in (i was slack last nite.. shoulda done them)

I went to the gym, ran a mile.. it feels so good to run.. I can't really explain it.. but it just makes me feel like i'm being me more.. not that the elliptical isn't good.. but i love the movement in running.. the feeling like i'm doing something.. True, I used to be able to run 6 miles a day.. and who knows.. maybe I will. I'm shooting for 3 miles.. that would be nice.

Thank God it's already Wednesday. So I acknowledge I live in Groundhog day.. at least the days go by quite quickly.. nothing like waking up and realizing that whoa! 1/2 the year is almost gone!!! How does that happen?

I had a great meditation this morning.. really deep. Where I finish thinking 'was I sleeping or was I really focused?" I'm currently searching to find the root of the cause of WHY I seem to meet people who do not meet my needs.. yet, I feel destroyed and play the victim role every time they dissapoint me. Somewhere in there I need to figure out why I don't stop interactions with those whom I KNOW will not bring me happiness.. instead of voluntarily playing the victim role in the end... "Why did he/she do this to me? I knew this would happen... I expect nothing less." Why am I like that? I really want to find out because I want to change my thinking to allow nothing but what I desire close to me. Instead of settling for what happens to be there.. in various amounts of energy/time spent/etc.. Naomi and I were talking last nite (catching up on her trip to San Croix.. so awesome!) she said something really true.. she said that I've always said that I love who I am.. but she thinks that there is a big part of me that doesn't... love who i am.. and that's why I accept things even though they're not what I want. It's from feeling like i dont' deserve any better.. hmm..I know she's right... and now I want to find a way to acknowledge my behavior, mid flow.. and try to shift it around in order to bring more happiness to my life.. that's where I've been in my mind..

Anyway.. rambling... have a great day..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

High/Low 5.17.05

hey..

gotta make this short.. gotta get ready for icky work.. i got a call from the National Building museum yesterday.. they need volunteers.. Yea! The NBM is my favorite museum in D.C. and i'd be proud to be a volunteer, i think even more than the Smithsonian because they are a privately funded museum.

ALSO.. I gotta wait till my next paycheck, but I'm going to sign up for a Intro to Digital Photography class at the Corcoran. It is 3 Saturdays in July.. and it's relatively inexpensive. I want to 1. learn more about my digital camera and 2. just 'be' at the Corcoran.. Yea.. Movement!

FINALLY... I wrote a letter to the woman who owns the store in Del Ray, Alexandria called 'Eclectic Nature' about how I enjoy her store.. and how I would like to sell my cards in her store. I've always had her in mind for my first place to try to sell the cards. I'm going to send her my letter with (3) cards for her to look at. Fingers crossed that she likes them and wants to sell them!

Yes! Lotsa things going on. I have been quite slack lately on my eating and exercising.... part of me feels guilty and another part feels like i need to rest.. to listen to my body, which yawns all the time... and has a more difficult time getting up lately. hmm.. But I really want to lose this dang weight. GRR...

Anyway.. i'm off to the grind. I pray that maybe these opportunities (NBM,Corcoran,selling cards) will help spark something.... so I can find another avenue to make money besides what i'm doing. Sigh.. God, I hope so!!!

Have a great day!
love you all,
kerilyn

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

High/Low 5.16.05

Hiety ho my stargazer lilies..

how are ya? i'm fine.. not wanting to go off to work this morning.. but that's no different from any other day.. had a good weekend.. a busy one.. but a good one nonetheless.

Random thought: I found myself this weekend, watching a few episodes of "The L word" on Showtime.. I love this show. It's about a group of women, most of them are lesbians, and their lives. It's filmed really clearly.. very sharp colors, I think the story line is written beautifully and it really gives you a sense of what their lives are like. BUT.. I really enjoy this show and most shows that portray single women going thru life, because it is a good 'check in' that i'm not crazy.. with my all over the place thoughts and moments of sadness and weakness. I really enjoy watching shows that show the good with the bad. How we as women have a tendency to over analyze as well as immense strength of will when placed against the odds. I also enjoy this show in particular, because I think the design is fresh, a reflection of what is chic and "in" in today's fashion and interiors. The music rocks too. I just love this show. Finally, it's a hot show.. very sexy. When I watch shows of this genre.. I always come away inspired.. and charged to get my life in order.. to continue to nurture the circle of friends I have.. and to spend adequate time with myself.

Peter's party was a success.. i bought a new dress at Target, i looked good (felt a bit heavy though..) and although I do not hang around with Peter's restaurant friends.. they are a different breed than myself, in my opinion, it was nice to see Peter enjoying himself.

It's funny... I am quick to make decisions.. or judgements about someone with respect to "She/He doesn't like me" and then I find myself in a moment where I come face to face with my opinion.. and I end up being wrong. One woman at Peter's party.. i think she displays what it takes to be in a relationship with one in the restaurant business.. Well I always thought she didn't like me.. and hence.. I didn't like her (am i in 4th grade? um.. yea) Well when she saw me at the party.. she was all excited to see me.. gave me more than one hug.. and we chatted a long time.. exchanged cards.. and vowed to hang out sometime.. I was thrown. So she does like me? I guess. It just went to show me that I am sometimes wrong and usually irrational when it comes to peoples impressions of me.. duh me.

I want to thank Davina, for being my moral support at the party yesterday. Thanks honey for helping me ease into the graduation of Peter's friends that came. Thank god for you.

Ok peeps.. I gotta rush to get ready.. for stinky work.. I hope you have a great week..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

PS: I also want to thank Kristine, my beautiful sister; her roommates Hendrick and Jason for coming to my house to install my new computer! My new computer is up and running.. it's a lot faster, I can tell already.. and once I get it all configured, files moved over and.... yes! Wireless Internet (thanks to Naomi) it will be ROCKIN!!! Hopefully by the end of this week I'll have it where I want it.. And.. my scanner is working again.. so I can scan you some more of my cards. YEA. Thank you Hendrick, Krissy and Jason!

A poem for my friend Kyra.

hey..

yesterday my friend kyra and i were chatting.. about life and love and things in general.. i love my girl kyra.. she is probably the most creative person I know. She always is journalling, reading and being the most up to date on music and the art world... I always leave her space more inspired and motivated to do my own thing.. I sometimes feel a bit guilty that I somehow copy her ideas.. but really her inspiration filters onto me...

So i wrote a poem about her.. for her.. and she suggested I share it.. So I think I will. If you know her.. cool, maybe you'll see what I see.. if not.. just know that she's a beautiful, creative, and fiery woman with LONG blonde hair.. that I am proud to stand by and call her my best friend.

From the Serengeti she arrived
Barebacked and frolicking
in the sporadic wildflowers that seem to
mysteriously Appear..
purple and full of life
Reminding us of the beauty found in the
Strangest of places.
Billions of stones in little fractions under Her feet
take shape..
Gladly reminding us Of her presence...
Wild and untamed this girl is
Shown to us by flocks of tendrils
in masse
flying in the direction of the sun...
while her exquisite complexity
is revealed as a gift if you are quiet
and still enough to see thru the veil,
the mirage of this world.
So clear to me.
this Serengeti girl
taught to survive on pure wit and strength of will brought on by seasons
of running with the lions.
While I am sure you see her fierceness as a testament to her position in the pack...
you miss the infinity of moments where her gentleness would
and does bring definition.. and clarity to her person.
Look closer.
And stare.. cause just like the wind uses the mountains Of sand as it's clock..
Telling time.
Her beauty is revealed as she explores.
This desolate and solemn world..
I can see her..
Can you?

Hope you all like it.. let me know what you think.. if you feel like it.

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

High/Low 5.13.05

happy friday the 13th to ya...

what's shakin? another overcast day..but it's friday.. so that's good. last nite I was a productive little woman.. laundry.. i spent the entire evening NOT watching TV and spending it in the basement.. working on my cards.. feels SO good to be down here..being creative.

I'm psyched.. i got a new computer, not the screen,printer or scanner.. just the tower with the hard drive, etc.. and it came in yesterday.. My sister picked it up and her roommate and her are coming down on Sunday to install it.. I am going to have wireless internet.. so I won't have to use dial up anymore.. and it might just be quite a bit faster too.. which will be a nice perk.. my computer now doesn't have enough memory.. so i haven't been able to install my digital camera software.. and upload my photos... so i'm excited!!!

nothing really exciting going on.. no plans tonite.. just rest and more cards.. work on website.. my dad is coming tomorrow morning to finish up insulation in Naomi's attic.. i have to scurry around and get all the stuff for Peter's surprise party.. then Sunday is goign to be a BUSY day.. sigh.. I'm sure it'll be fine..

Anyway.. i hope you have a good friday.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

High/Low 5.12.05

howdy guys and gals..

what's shakin? i feel good today.. had a good meditation this morning.. had a good cup of coffee too.. it's thursday which means that this groundhog week is winding down.. thankfully. my best friend Naomi took off to San Croix today.. I hope she has a good time..i'm sure being anywhere but going to work will prove rewarding...

so i started looking for jobs.. unfortunately i do not know how to translate my current degree in Interior Design into something different. I guess I degreed myself into a corner.. so to speak. but i just began my search.. and dang it.. i will find something.. if you have any thoughts or ideas on where i could/should look.. shoot me an email.

yesterday was my sisters birthday.. peter and i went to meet kristine at PF Chengs for dinner.. krissy looked beautiful, getting smaller and smaller every day.. and we had a great time at dinner. and yummy food too!!!

tonite i SHOULD go to the gym and run.. but i'm pooped.. been going and going the past few days and I could use an early nite.. and resting.. this weekend I'm going to be rushing around trying to get everything for peter's surprise birthday party on Sunday.. sigh.. My best friend Matthew MIGHT come.. (fingers crossed) and my old roomie, Kriss might come on down from the Baltimore area.. that would be AWESOME!!!

OH! i didn't tell you.. my friend danielle emailed a group of her friends.. talking about my high/lows (among other things) and suggested starting her own newsletter.. well she asked me if I would write a column in her newsletter, of inspiration and motivation.. you KNOW i said yes! I've had some good ideas and will write my first column for her this weekend.

'hit me upside my head thought' for the moment: I want to go shoe shopping. er.. well shopping in general..

ok.. i feel good today.. the past few days have not been so hot.. mentally.. isn't it weird.. how we can go a few days being great! and then.. the blahs come, like a thief in the night and linger and just as quick as they came.. they're gone.. I don't get it..don't like it either.. but this is what we all signed up for when we decided to come here, into this life.

Ah.. my mom called last nite.. her surgery has been pushed back from Monday, June 27 to Thursday, June 30th. So I need to adjust my work schedule...

k.. that's all for now folks..
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

High/Low 5.10.05

Hey there kiddies!

So.. i gotta make this quick.. cause I gotta get ready for the jobby job (eww). Today is my one year anniversary at this stinky job..Am I happy about it? No. That i've been here for a year. I found out last Friday that the company I work for now is going to install internet monitoring software on our computers.. I know I wrote this to you but it BUGS me.. GRRRR... No. I woke up yesterday with this revived sense of searching for a new job.. I just dont' know where to look.. that's my frustration. I don't have a masters degree.. so I dont' know where to go.. I want to do something more creative.. and something that helps others.. If you have any ideas.. let me know..

I am also very proud of myself.. I went to the gym last nite.. well.. let me back up.. I saw my sister this weekend.. She's been doing Weight Watchers and has lost 20 lbs. (YEA KRISTINE!!) and she looks GREAT.. Kristine and I are shaped differently and I'll admit I'm a bit jealous that it looks like she's lost a LOT more weight than me.. and I've lost 40 lbs.. SO... I decided.. that I know this ding dang weight will come off quicker if I run... so instead of the elliptical machine last nite.. I ran a mile! Let me say.. that it felt SO DAMN GOOD to run.. It brought back nostalgia when I would run 6 miles.. I feel more healthy when I run.. like I'm actually doing something.. I just don't feel that way so much when I do the elliptical thing.. dont' know why... Anyway.. I figure I"m going to continue to run.. a mile for a few weeks.. then bring it up to 2 miles and see if the weight comes off quicker..

Ok.. I gotta make this one short..

Today is Peter's birthday.. he is 34.. I am taking him out to dinner tonite.. Thanks to Davina we're going to this Brazillian Steakhouse.. who knows.. his friend JJ and I are throwing Peter a surprise party on Sunday.. If your interested in coming.. email me..

I also got in touch with one of my good friends from Savannah who I haven't seen/spoke to in a Dog's Age!! Yea.. reconnecting makes me happy!

K.. have a great day? YES!
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

Kerilyn

"The first step to becoming is to will it." - Mother Teresa

High/Low 5.9.05

mornin!

how are you? Happy Belated Mothers day to all you mothers out there.. i hope you had a good weekend.. I spent my weekend with my family.. first my dad.. then sister then the 4 of us.. nice weekend all in all.

Here is my rambling thought for this morning.. It's funny but every morning.. I don't want to go to work. I would rather sleep in, enjoy my day than go to the job I have currently and actually even when I was doing something I wanted to do.. I still didn't want to go to work.. that's when Pez comes in.. Ever look at your cat,dog, gerbil, what have you.... and say to him or her... "Gosh (insert pet's name here) I wish I could stay home with you all day. Then you think to yourself. I wish I were a cat,dog,gerbil.. How nice would that be.. to lay around all day.. without a care in the world.. just lay in the sun.. try to get the birds out the window.. and sleep. Yea.. I find myself thinking that probably once a week. looking at Pez.. all sprawled out on the floor.. chill. Today is going to be a nice day.. what a nice day to be Pez.

I just had that moment with Pez so i thought i'd share.. seeing as you've probably had the same moments somewhere along the line.

I am really becoming happy with my house.. things are really starting to take shape.. I am finding myself just being really happy to be home.. in my space. My little creative area in the basement is complete.. now I just have to sit my butt down and go. No more excuses. The A/C guy was here this weekend to do some work, and he asked me what I did for a living cause I have my office in the basement.. that was a nice thought.. "Ah.. to work at home and to do what I love." yea.. gotta work on that...

I think since my volunteering opportunity with the smithsonian has fallen thru.. I need to be active to find something else to be pro-active.. with my life.. in my daily inspiration. I have been very busy lately.. this upcoming weekend is no different... but I have a few options.. 1. take a Intro to Digital Photography class at the Corcoran (eh.. if I can't work there.. I could be a student there) 2. Take that much desired knitting class 3. Sign up to be a volunteer at the local rape crisis center.... that's my thoughts.. now I gotta mold them into action..

k ya'll.. i gotta get ready for my day.. hope you have a good one.. I feel good.. glad I'm writing to ya'll. oh yea.. thank you for your wonderful thoughts on my 'your dream here' card. Once I get my scanner fixed I'll scan more and put them here.. i have 4 cards right now.. Trust me.. I don't necessarily see myself as a creative person.. so it kinda shocks me a bit to see what these 2 hands come up with..

Keep smiling.. today looks like it's going to be beautiful here..
love you all,
kerilyn

ancora imparo "i am still learning" in Latin

High/Low 5.6.05

hey there folks..

thank GOD.. Friday's here.. there's GOT to be a way I can break free from the monotony of the groundhog day syndrome that is seemingly my life.. lol.. and I hear in my head "Its the in between things that make it interesting" yea. true.. well.. anyway.. not a way to start off my ramblings..

yet ANOTHER overcast and dreary day.. at least yesterday was clear a bit.. I got out there last nite and mowed the lawn.. i enjoy it.. the green grass is vibrant right now.. and the wonderful smell of cut grass.. it was quite long (the grass) and mowing in the back yard makes me want to plant.. to buy some cast iron table, some tiki torches.. and set up shop outside.. maybe a grill.. (unfortunately being outside means bugs.. i do not enjoy bugs, just so you know)

I need to seriously begin looking for another job.. our phone calls are monitored.. and now they're (the management) putting internet monitoring software on our computers.. the 'Big Brother' of it all really is bugging me.. even had a dream about it last nite.. and I don't dream often.. on one side of the coin.. I do a job I don't enjoy.. and robotically do/seem interested just so i can pay my bills. I should be happy and remember that I don't do overtime, go home for lunch and am able to get out of the office sometimes to go to job sites, have been to some pretty interesting buildings in Washington D.C. because of it. But NO.. I'd rather complain that it's not creative enough.. inspiring enough.. well that is VERY true.. it's not. I am not a salesperson (unless it's something I feel passionately about) and have no interest in "becoming" someone else in front of a client. NO THANKS.

Let's see.. there HAS to be more to tell you about except my damn job. Hmmm.. this weekend is Mother's Day.. this mothers day is kinda important in the little Fox family... On June 27th, my mom will be having a pretty serious surgery.. and I think for me anyway.. it's made me want to be closer, incrementally, to my mother. I do not think it's a secret that I have not, to my recollection, been close to my mom, but see my own desires to spend time with her and get to know her grow.. as the years have passed. With this surgery upon us.. I want my mother to know that I will continue to want.. even if it's not as fast or as furious as someone else would, my mother to be a more important person in my life.. and to help her while she recovers the best that I can. My mommy is making dinner (we should be making dinner for her, but I think she enjoys cooking for us) and we will spend Sunday afternoon together.. I will hopefully say a special prayer.. dedicated to my mother and all the mothers that have helped me be who I am. I say thank you.

oh yea.. check out my 'your dream here' card.. let me know what you think.. and please.. don't copy it.. I'm trying to be original...

Ok.. Pez wants me to tell you all hi.. and to try to have a PURRRfect day! (whoa.. I'm a cheese)
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

love you all,
Kerilyn

Here is my "your dream here" card.. what do you think? let me know.
Please do not copy my card.. I am trying for something original here.
Thousand thank yous.

High/Low 5.4.05

hey.. how you doin? i just got done meditating and am now sitting in the basement.. my Pez girl is laying on my lap when i write this.. purring away.. makes me so happy when she is near me. Good cup of coffee this morning too which always starts the day off right.

it's another overcast day.. eww.. i'm not so excited about that, especially since i have to be on the go today.. but I decided last nite when i went to sleep that i was going to have a great day today.. so that's what I'm aiming for...

let's see.. what's on my mind??? hmm.. i wish it was Friday.

I think I am one who needs 8 hours of sleep a night. I like to go to bed around 10 and my alarm goes off at 5:45am.. but lately I've been going to sleep around 11 and I can tell a difference.. I yawn a bit more than normal.. and feel sluggish most of the day.

Tonite.. my girl Naomi is doing 10 minutes of Stand up at Dr. Dremo's in Arlington! I am so proud of her, she's been truly shooting for her dream. I can see the fruits of her labor manifesting themselves and hopefully, she will be able to reap from her desires soon!

Ok.. well I don't have a lot on my mind at the moment.. well, anything excitingly positive for that matter.. I don't think telling you that I dont' want to go to work today, that I want to go back to bed is being pro-active.. so I'll bid you all adieu for now.

Are you happy that I'm writing again? Do you like my rambling format? See.. it's easier to peruse my brain for whatevers on my mind, instead of focusing on high and low as of late.. cause I still don't have a firm grasp on more highs than lows and I don't want to constantly write of the lows.. that's depressing.. so I think random thoughts are better for now.. What do you think?

Happy Wednesday to you.
Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin
Kerilyn

"When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything. The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything." - Shunryu Suzuki

High/Low 5.2.05

hey all...

what's shakin? it's monday for me.. (well for most of us) and it's been a really blah day for me. mentally i've been reintroduced to my desire to be more independent, FREE from my little debts and a fairly coordinated regime as to how I can save money on a regular basis.. enough that I could one day afford the luxuries that I that I wish for, and ON MY OWN. I have been blessed, I guess you would say, without lack, and know I take it for granted most of the time as we all do when our awareness isn't brought to something.

Sigh.. ever have one of those days when something is wrong but you can't put your finger on it? yea.. that's me today. I think todays uneasiness comes from specifically from my current financial experience although it's broader than that.. it's about freedom.

i look out my window.. a storm is coming in.. dark clouds coming toward my office and I can feel the effects.. it's darker and everything seems more tense, and still. Everyone's quiet today.. That's how i feel today.. like a storm is coming.. a life storm. If i choose to.. it could be a good thing.

and that's how i want to see it.

eww.. i'm getting way too somber today.. but that's how my day is going.. ok.. onto rambling thoughts..

well.. no, seems todays topic is about money.. which brings me to my biggest withdrawl from my bank account.. FOOD! I spend WAY too much money on going out to eat and food in general. whoa.. I could save SO much money if I didn't call my girl Naomi for 1/2 price fajitas.. cause waah waah.. i didn't FEEL like cooking. TOUGH KERILYN! i have grown very spoiled for quick service and no dishes to do.. it's made me lazy. So i decided to call my regular dinner companions and ask for their help in refraining me from going out.. for the month of May anyway... we'll see how i do.. but if i have at least $200 more in my savings next month to show of it.. it will be WAY more worth the grumbling I'm predicting will happen when I am staring at the refrigerator saying "there's nothing to eat!!!" Who knows.. maybe I'll create a fabulous new recipe that will turn into a legend.. and will spawn chain restaurants all over the world!!!! (um.. yea, back to reality kerilyn)

I say WAAH WAAH to myself.. and try to push thru this today.

High/Low 5.1.05

Hey there folksies...

Happy May to you all! First off I want to share with you your horoscope for May (If your into that kinda thing) I like to read it on the first of every month, I believe in astrology and such, but don't follow it strictly. http://astrologyzone.com/forecasts/

how are ya? it's sunny and a bit brisk out today it seems, I haven't been outside yet as i'm still in my PJs writing ya'll with a cup of coffee. i have to get my butt up and get ready to leave for my date at noon.. am i excited? no.. I'm just going with the flow.. trying to keep myself from being sad and depressed that noone has been able to match with what I'm looking for.. eh.. 'keep on truckin' is my motto for this dating thing.. sigh..

hmmm what's on my mind today... i guess my brain has been partly swirling with the tragedy that happens every day to the trees on our planet.. I don't think that we take much consideration to how vital and important our stationary brothers and sisters are to our own survival. Hello.. the trees are ALIVE.. just like you and me.. moving sap and nutrients to it's branches.. prepares itself for rain.. one of the BEST examples of our trees is the book "The Giving Tree" (my FAVORITE book of all time) it bothers me when i hear news reports of trees being cut down just so someone can have an extra garage to house their swanky cars.. now i'm not that naive..i know that i too, live in a house. and there was probably a tree or two where my house stands.. i know that there is a given amount of trees that had to sacrifice themselves for us.. but come on!!! do we have to massacre WAY too many of these waving beauties.. I'm tellin ya.. our earth tells us not to cut trees, pollute.. by bringing us earth quakes, tornados, and drought.. We should listen to the earth more.. cause one day we might regret it.. I'm telling you all to watch one of my favorite movies.. if you feel my plight.. movie called "Ferngully" it's RIGHT ON to how I feel...

hey.. i'm just sayin...

and let's not GET me started on how much paper (i.e TREES!!!!) we WASTE!!!! I am not alone in this... but I can still be annoyed and agitated knowing how many trees die so we can have something to write on.. ugh.. enough with this topic.. gets me upset..

ok.. so that's my thought for right now.. Does it make you all happy to hear from me? I think I'm going to write in this rambling, whatever comes out of my brain, format for the time being.. I guess I'm trying not to be too regimented in my daily processes.. cause I continually become disenchanted when I find the results of my planner-ness fall apart..

Ancora Imparo "I am still learning" in Latin

more later.. ta ta for now my lovelies!!
love you all,
kerilyn

"You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand."- Woodrow Wilson